Violent, drunken 'Bad Santas' wreak havoc worldwide

BERLIN (Reuters) - Drunken Santas on a rampage in New Zealand, armed German robbers in Santa disguises, a British St. Nick wanted for flashing, and a Swedish vandal in a Santa outfit are giving the big man in red a bad name this year.

Reports of "Bad Santas" breaking the law or otherwise wreaking havoc have been circulating around the world.

Armed with a gun, a man in a Santa outfit held up a furniture store in the German town of Ludwigshafen on Saturday and forced two cashiers to open the safe. He filled his sack with cash, locked the two women in the safe and escaped.

He is still on the loose, but police in Tuebingen were able to nab a bank robber armed with a machine gun in a Santa costume with the aid of an infrared camera and helicopter. They found him hiding in a ditch in a nearby forest.

"The machine gun was fake," a police spokesman said. Dressed in a Santa cap, beard and wearing sun glasses, he was wanted for stealing 500,000 euros in four separate bank robberies.

One Santa was stopped by police for driving 150 kph (90 mph) on a northern German motorway, 50 kph over the speed limit.

"He said he was in a rush because he still had packages to deliver," said a spokesman for the police. They gave Santa a fine and took away his license.

Last week an inebriated half-naked Santa disrupted a Christmas market in Dabringhausen before police intervened.

That incident paled in comparison to what happened in Auckland on Saturday when 40 drunken Santas rampaged through the city center, stealing from stores and assaulting security guards in a protest against Christmas becoming too commercial.

In Britain, police said they were looking for a Santa acting suspiciously -- a flasher who exposed himself to women.

Officers in Swanage on the south coast of England said the flasher had struck a number of times since December 6, and a week later exposed himself whilst wearing a Santa Claus outfit.

A British agency recently issued a code of conduct to root out substandard Santas. "Santa is a magical and cuddly man, not a fat, smelly slob," said James Lovell of the Ministry of Fun agency in London. "He must not smell of drink or body odor."

Last Christmas, a shopping center in south Wales installed a webcam dubbed "Santacam" in his grotto to overcome parents' concerns after several high-profile paedophile cases in Britain.

Santi-Wrap

.....Laraine Newman
.....Dan Aykroyd
Mall Santa.....John Belushi

[ open on Laraine Newman and Dan Aykroyd standing in line to see Santa Claus at the mall ]

Laraine Newman: I'm next!

Dan Aykroyd: [ laughing ] Are you sure you want to do this?

Laraine Newman: Sure! You know, I mean it's crazy, this time of year does something to me, I feel like a little kid!

Dan Aykroyd: Make it quick, though - we've got a lot of shopping to do.

Laraine Newman: Oh, don't be such a Scrooge. Where's your spirit?

[ little girl steps off Santa's lap and heads off ]

Mall Santa: Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas, everybody!

Laraine Newman: I'll only be a minute.

Dan Aykroyd: Sure.

[ as Laraine steps up to Santa Claus, she unrolls some toilet paper which she proceeds to place around his lap ]

Dan Aykroyd: Hey, wait a minute! What are you doing?

Laraine Newman: Relax! I said I'll only be a minute..

Dan Aykroyd: What is this?

Laraine Newman: It's for protection.

Dan Aykroyd: Toilet tissue?! You mean, you haven't heard of Santi-Wrap? [ holds up red and green colored toilet seat protection sheet ] Sure.. Santi-Wrap - the colorful, decorative and hygienic way to protect yourself from germs carried by the likes of a part-time Santa Claus.

Mall Santa: [ drinking from a bottle of alcohol ] Ho ho ho..

Dan Aykroyd: Look, he's so jolly, he's smart, he knows if you've been sleeping - but do you know where he's been sleeping?

Laraine Newman: [ sits up with a stir ] Oh, my goodness!

Dan Aykroyd: That's just it, Look, Laraine - I love Santa just as much as anybody else, but, December 26th, Noel over here goes back to the Y.

Mall Santa: [ drinking from a bottle of alcohol ] Ho ho ho..

Laraine Newman: But won't toilet paper protect me?

Dan Aykroyd: Two-ply? Never. Not these germs. Let me show you.

[ show image of Santa's bare leg ]

Dan Aykroyd: This is a picture of Santa's leg. Seems normal. But look at the same picture magnified under a microscope.

[ show circular close-up of tiny little men sitting on a street corner, with little hairs surrounding the lens ]

Laraine Newman: Are those Santa's helpers?

Dan Aykroyd: Yes, those are Santa's helpers. And they're communicable. Now, will you stop using the two-ply?

Laraine Newman: What a fool I've been! [ replaces her toilet paper with one Santi-Wrap sheet and sits ] Okay.. I want a car, and a refigerator, and -

Dan Aykroyd: Use Santi-Wrap, and I promise you won't get one tick.. from jolly St. Nick.

Mall Santa: [ drinking from a bottle of alcohol ] Ho ho ho.. ho.. ho ho..

[ fade ]

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