Skip to comments.
Violent, drunken 'Bad Santas' wreak havoc worldwide
Reuters ^
| Dec 20, 2005
| Erik Kirschbaum, Daniel Frykholm, Jeremy Lovell
Posted on 12/20/2005 11:51:16 AM PST by veronica
click here to read article
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20, 21-40, 41-57 last
To: EX52D
have him kiss mrs. santa, ride a bike or drink a beer
41
posted on
12/20/2005 12:41:16 PM PST
by
Sally'sConcerns
(Native Texan, now in SW Ok..)
To: EX52D
I was thinking of NOT doing
the Wednesday list tomorrow
due to the holidays
but heck...I think I will
just so that we have a hang out place ;)
42
posted on
12/20/2005 12:44:46 PM PST
by
PaulaB
To: Sally'sConcerns
43
posted on
12/20/2005 12:44:49 PM PST
by
EX52D
((I have shifted to "Christmas Survival Mode"))
To: veronica
To: chemicalman
What's the deal, he kept pulling out that clip board. lol
To: veronica
|
|
Santi-Wrap
.....Laraine Newman .....Dan Aykroyd Mall Santa.....John Belushi
[ open on Laraine Newman and Dan Aykroyd standing in line to see Santa Claus at the mall ]
Laraine Newman: I'm next!
Dan Aykroyd: [ laughing ] Are you sure you want to do this?
Laraine Newman: Sure! You know, I mean it's crazy, this time of year does something to me, I feel like a little kid!
Dan Aykroyd: Make it quick, though - we've got a lot of shopping to do.
Laraine Newman: Oh, don't be such a Scrooge. Where's your spirit?
[ little girl steps off Santa's lap and heads off ]
Mall Santa: Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas, everybody!
Laraine Newman: I'll only be a minute.
Dan Aykroyd: Sure.
[ as Laraine steps up to Santa Claus, she unrolls some toilet paper which she proceeds to place around his lap ]
Dan Aykroyd: Hey, wait a minute! What are you doing?
Laraine Newman: Relax! I said I'll only be a minute..
Dan Aykroyd: What is this?
Laraine Newman: It's for protection.
Dan Aykroyd: Toilet tissue?! You mean, you haven't heard of Santi-Wrap? [ holds up red and green colored toilet seat protection sheet ] Sure.. Santi-Wrap - the colorful, decorative and hygienic way to protect yourself from germs carried by the likes of a part-time Santa Claus.
Mall Santa: [ drinking from a bottle of alcohol ] Ho ho ho..
Dan Aykroyd: Look, he's so jolly, he's smart, he knows if you've been sleeping - but do you know where he's been sleeping?
Laraine Newman: [ sits up with a stir ] Oh, my goodness!
Dan Aykroyd: That's just it, Look, Laraine - I love Santa just as much as anybody else, but, December 26th, Noel over here goes back to the Y.
Mall Santa: [ drinking from a bottle of alcohol ] Ho ho ho..
Laraine Newman: But won't toilet paper protect me?
Dan Aykroyd: Two-ply? Never. Not these germs. Let me show you.
[ show image of Santa's bare leg ]
Dan Aykroyd: This is a picture of Santa's leg. Seems normal. But look at the same picture magnified under a microscope.
[ show circular close-up of tiny little men sitting on a street corner, with little hairs surrounding the lens ]
Laraine Newman: Are those Santa's helpers?
Dan Aykroyd: Yes, those are Santa's helpers. And they're communicable. Now, will you stop using the two-ply?
Laraine Newman: What a fool I've been! [ replaces her toilet paper with one Santi-Wrap sheet and sits ] Okay.. I want a car, and a refigerator, and -
Dan Aykroyd: Use Santi-Wrap, and I promise you won't get one tick.. from jolly St. Nick.
Mall Santa: [ drinking from a bottle of alcohol ] Ho ho ho.. ho.. ho ho..
[ fade ]
|
|
|
46
posted on
12/20/2005 12:46:45 PM PST
by
dfwgator
To: PaulaB
Hey, I look forward to the Wednesday list...and the Friday list. Staying home for Christmas or travelling?
47
posted on
12/20/2005 12:46:47 PM PST
by
EX52D
((I have shifted to "Christmas Survival Mode"))
To: TheForceOfOne
LOL...you must be asking him to do something "bad". He's putting your name on the naughty list.
48
posted on
12/20/2005 12:47:56 PM PST
by
EX52D
((I have shifted to "Christmas Survival Mode"))
To: EX52D
To: EX52D
Staying home..thank goodness
we did Christmas last weekend
at the in laws
due to they have people flying in from China Christmas weekend
Candlelight service this Sat night and cooking on Sun
you?
50
posted on
12/20/2005 12:49:41 PM PST
by
PaulaB
To: PaulaB
My husband and I survived both of our Christmas parties last weekend. Mine was here, his was in Tempe, Arizona. Whew! Friday we are driving to southern California for Christmas. I'm very much looking forward to seeing my parents and grandmother.
51
posted on
12/20/2005 12:59:53 PM PST
by
EX52D
((I have shifted to "Christmas Survival Mode"))
To: EX52D
awesome!!!!
Millee is about to post something nutty..be
ready ;)
52
posted on
12/20/2005 1:00:44 PM PST
by
PaulaB
To: PaulaB
Cool, I need some wakin' up!
53
posted on
12/20/2005 1:02:58 PM PST
by
EX52D
((I have shifted to "Christmas Survival Mode"))
To: veronica
54
posted on
12/20/2005 1:06:53 PM PST
by
MEG33
(GOD BLESS OUR ARMED FORCES)
To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick
55
posted on
12/20/2005 2:00:05 PM PST
by
blackie
(Be Well~Be Armed~Be Safe~Molon Labe!)
To: Constitution Day
Can't argue with that. FOFL.
56
posted on
12/20/2005 2:05:24 PM PST
by
Velveeta
(Merry Christmas! God Bless our troops.)
To: Allegra
Home until after New Year's! Wooohooo!
Mexican food, beer, cats, quiet streets...you pick the order of importance!
57
posted on
12/20/2005 5:43:39 PM PST
by
ErnBatavia
(I post in slang..live with it or ignore it - reader's choice.)
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20, 21-40, 41-57 last
Disclaimer:
Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual
posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its
management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the
exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson