Posted on 12/16/2005 4:54:01 AM PST by verity
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia formally known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).
Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036. Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.
Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.
Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.
what's really scary is that some of those things could actually happen.
Canada's liberal party instituted forced euthenasia of its citizens over 45 years old in an effort to reduce healthcare costs. Liberal MP Mao Tsung was quoted as saying "We all know that the usefulness of those over age 45 diminished quickly with each passing year."
Note to self: Do not travel to Canada in the year 2029.....
E-mail ping.
Chelsea: " I don't want to ever see anything that even remotely resembles a cigar as long as I live.. I'm sure you can understand why.. "
"Can the Chicago Cubs finally win it it all this season"
I would not suprised if the 9th Circus Court of Appeals says that in 2006.
The last remaining member of the obsolete US Democratic Party passes away in Republican stronghold of Ithaca, NY. Having aborted itself into oblivion, the once formidable liberal force finds itself relegated to a mere "skid mark" in the underwear of history. Witnesses say they heard, in the last whisper of the victim's death rattle, the words "it's Bush's fault ..."
Forgot one.
"Global cooling threatens to clog Panama canal with heavy ice.
President hounded to sign Otoyk accord."
Mexifornia.... I get insulted by this.... White Anglo communist are destroying this country and you blame Hispanics..... Anglo puftas in San Francisco with power, and you blame Hispanics 88% here legally, Catholic, hardworking; a lot more than I can say for the white communist Godless heathens in the democrat party. Probably your race no doubt?
I know, it is hard having the predominance of liberal nut job abortionist in your race... it must be tough.
Were you born w/o a sense of humor or is it something you recently developed?
Good, my point is made. Done.
Obits:Extremely long time Freeper, F.J. Mitchell, dead at 97, while on honeymoon with his 18 year old elf with cleavage, bride of one night. Undertaker gives up on effort to reduce ear to ear grin on his face to a respectable, dignified smile.
In the immortal words of Zager & Evans...
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