Are you a Republican or Democrat

12/15/05 | mek1959

[mek1959]

Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican?

Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans and Southern Republicans?

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Democrat's Answer:

- Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

- Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?

- Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

- Could we run away?

- What does my wife think?

- What about the kids?

- Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

- What does the law say about this situation?

- Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

- Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

- Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

- Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

- If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

- Should I call 9-1-1?

- Why is this street so deserted?

- We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

- This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

- I could shoot in the air and maybe scare him off but that may be interpreted as some sort of torture.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Republican's Answer:

BANG!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Southern Republican's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.....(sounds of reloading).

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points that I bought you for your birthday?"

[Chuckster]

Personally, I'd draw my piece and step to the side to back up my wife and scan for accomplices as she drilled the scumbag between the eyes with her .45ACP Commander.

That's because I'm a gentleman.

[GW and Twins Pawpaw]

You and millions of others.

[Marine_Uncle]

"Unless he is a 'Country Club' Republican... He'll drop the gun and hit him with his golf club."
A swift swing to the head with a two iron just might do the trick.

[Windcatcher]

"So apparently the Republican is the expert shot. He/she nails the dirty filthy rotten scum bag with one shot."

You know, most of the top-ranked civilian competition pistol shooters live right here in southeast PA (including my old man).

[notbuyingit2]

Is this a trick question? Everyone knows a Democrat wouldn't carry a GUN!

[staytrue]

Country-club RINO, the Honorable Elihu Smails, showing us his best form.

Your picture looks more like a McClintock supporter who is still steamed that Arnold won.

[GW and Twins Pawpaw]

Glock 23s hold 13 in the mag and one in the pipe. My G19 (9mm)uses a 15 round magazine.

[Dr.Zoidberg]

"Shoot his balls off first so he has a few minutes of pain, then stuff pork rinds down his throat so before he dies he knows he'll never receive his 72 virgins, then one in the stomach for a nice slow death as the gastrointestinal juices dissolve his organs.

What does that make me?"

I'm not sure, but you're invited to my next party.

[mek1959]

Ha ha. Whats so sad about this post is that you could seriously imagine some liberal democrat working through their empty head with these questions.

[Marine_Uncle]

"The Southern Republican wanted to make sure he was dead. Can't be too careful, y'know."
No problem there. Years back prior to marraige and living in MD with roomates from the south and north, I can assure you, my North Carolina buddies where execellant shots both with pistol, shotgun, and rifles.

[fieldmarshaldj]

Don't go there, McCloskey.

[mnehring]

Is this a trick question? Everyone knows a Democrat wouldn't carry a GUN!

The real trick to the question is that the Islamic Terrorist would have recognized the Democrat as an ally and the Dem would go to the press defending the Terrorist as a freedom fighter or some sort of crap like that.

[RTINSC]

"What do you do?"

I switch to my mod 21, fire once and save some ammo..

[staytrue]

and one in the pipe

Maybe I'm a weenie rino, or maybe because I took that gun safety class, but I don't keep one in the pipe.

[notbuyingit2]

...and I doubt a Democrat would know a Glock from a hole in the ground.

[staytrue]

Don't go there, McCloskey.

this is a wonderful thread, but I thought you started it in post 6. Nevertheless, I suggest we avoid our differences for this thread.

[Marine_Uncle]

"You know, most of the top-ranked civilian competition pistol shooters live right here in southeast PA (including my old man)."
I'll take your word for that. Then again I was raised in SE PA. Ha ha. However I can assure you I was never a great shot.

[GW and Twins Pawpaw]

As long as you keep your finger off the trigger you are safe.

[GW and Twins Pawpaw]

dimbocRATS can recognize an evil gun at two thousand meters.:-)

[The Grammarian]

I know the SW99 9mm has 16; the .40 cal. carries 12. Same as the Walther P99 it's a licensed version of.

Are you still using the Ban-era "civilian" mags?