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Are you a Republican or Democrat
12/15/05 | mek1959

Posted on 12/15/2005 5:25:15 PM PST by mek1959

Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican?

Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans and Southern Republicans?

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Democrat's Answer:

- Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

- Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?

- Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

- Could we run away?

- What does my wife think?

- What about the kids?

- Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

- What does the law say about this situation?

- Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

- Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

- Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

- Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

- If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

- Should I call 9-1-1?

- Why is this street so deserted?

- We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

- This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

- I could shoot in the air and maybe scare him off but that may be interpreted as some sort of torture.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Republican's Answer:

BANG!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Southern Republican's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.....(sounds of reloading).

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points that I bought you for your birthday?"


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: democrat; republican
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To: mek1959

Personally, I'd draw my piece and step to the side to back up my wife and scan for accomplices as she drilled the scumbag between the eyes with her .45ACP Commander.

That's because I'm a gentleman.


21 posted on 12/15/2005 5:35:17 PM PST by Chuckster (Neca eos omnes. Deus suos agnoset)
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To: mek1959

You and millions of others.


22 posted on 12/15/2005 5:35:48 PM PST by GW and Twins Pawpaw (Sheepdog for Five [My grandkids are way more important than any lefty's feelings!])
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To: mnehrling
"Unless he is a 'Country Club' Republican... He'll drop the gun and hit him with his golf club."
A swift swing to the head with a two iron just might do the trick.
23 posted on 12/15/2005 5:36:07 PM PST by Marine_Uncle (Honor must be earned)
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To: Marine_Uncle
"So apparently the Republican is the expert shot. He/she nails the dirty filthy rotten scum bag with one shot."

You know, most of the top-ranked civilian competition pistol shooters live right here in southeast PA (including my old man).
24 posted on 12/15/2005 5:36:18 PM PST by Windcatcher (Earth to libs: MARXISM DOESN'T SELL HERE. Try somewhere else.)
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To: mek1959

Is this a trick question? Everyone knows a Democrat wouldn't carry a GUN!


25 posted on 12/15/2005 5:36:56 PM PST by notbuyingit2 (Don't let your Ifida's pile up.)
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To: fieldmarshaldj
Country-club RINO, the Honorable Elihu Smails, showing us his best form.

Your picture looks more like a McClintock supporter who is still steamed that Arnold won.

26 posted on 12/15/2005 5:37:09 PM PST by staytrue (MOONBAT conservatives are those who would rather lose to a liberal than support a moderate)
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To: staytrue

Glock 23s hold 13 in the mag and one in the pipe. My G19 (9mm)uses a 15 round magazine.


27 posted on 12/15/2005 5:37:42 PM PST by GW and Twins Pawpaw (Sheepdog for Five [My grandkids are way more important than any lefty's feelings!])
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To: mnehrling
"Shoot his balls off first so he has a few minutes of pain, then stuff pork rinds down his throat so before he dies he knows he'll never receive his 72 virgins, then one in the stomach for a nice slow death as the gastrointestinal juices dissolve his organs.

What does that make me?"


I'm not sure, but you're invited to my next party.
28 posted on 12/15/2005 5:38:25 PM PST by Dr.Zoidberg (Whats with the Marquis of Queensbury Rules bullsh*t, we fight for our very survival! Fight Dirty!)
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To: notbuyingit2

Ha ha. Whats so sad about this post is that you could seriously imagine some liberal democrat working through their empty head with these questions.


29 posted on 12/15/2005 5:38:37 PM PST by mek1959
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To: Gordongekko909
"The Southern Republican wanted to make sure he was dead. Can't be too careful, y'know."
No problem there. Years back prior to marraige and living in MD with roomates from the south and north, I can assure you, my North Carolina buddies where execellant shots both with pistol, shotgun, and rifles.
30 posted on 12/15/2005 5:38:49 PM PST by Marine_Uncle (Honor must be earned)
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To: staytrue

Don't go there, McCloskey.


31 posted on 12/15/2005 5:39:08 PM PST by fieldmarshaldj (Cheney X -- Destroying the Liberal Democrat Traitors By Any Means Necessary -- Ya Dig ? Sho 'Nuff.)
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To: notbuyingit2
Is this a trick question? Everyone knows a Democrat wouldn't carry a GUN!

The real trick to the question is that the Islamic Terrorist would have recognized the Democrat as an ally and the Dem would go to the press defending the Terrorist as a freedom fighter or some sort of crap like that.
32 posted on 12/15/2005 5:39:15 PM PST by mnehring (“Anybody who doesn’t appreciate what America has done and President Bush, let them go to hell”...)
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To: mek1959

"What do you do?"

I switch to my mod 21, fire once and save some ammo..


33 posted on 12/15/2005 5:40:09 PM PST by RTINSC (Being Offended is the Natural Consequence of Leaving Your Home...)
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To: GW and Twins Pawpaw
and one in the pipe

Maybe I'm a weenie rino, or maybe because I took that gun safety class, but I don't keep one in the pipe.

34 posted on 12/15/2005 5:40:17 PM PST by staytrue (MOONBAT conservatives are those who would rather lose to a liberal than support a moderate)
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To: mek1959

...and I doubt a Democrat would know a Glock from a hole in the ground.


35 posted on 12/15/2005 5:41:15 PM PST by notbuyingit2 (Don't let your Ifida's pile up.)
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To: fieldmarshaldj
Don't go there, McCloskey.

this is a wonderful thread, but I thought you started it in post 6. Nevertheless, I suggest we avoid our differences for this thread.

36 posted on 12/15/2005 5:42:29 PM PST by staytrue (MOONBAT conservatives are those who would rather lose to a liberal than support a moderate)
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To: Windcatcher
"You know, most of the top-ranked civilian competition pistol shooters live right here in southeast PA (including my old man)."
I'll take your word for that. Then again I was raised in SE PA. Ha ha. However I can assure you I was never a great shot.
37 posted on 12/15/2005 5:42:55 PM PST by Marine_Uncle (Honor must be earned)
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To: staytrue

As long as you keep your finger off the trigger you are safe.


38 posted on 12/15/2005 5:43:21 PM PST by GW and Twins Pawpaw (Sheepdog for Five [My grandkids are way more important than any lefty's feelings!])
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To: notbuyingit2

dimbocRATS can recognize an evil gun at two thousand meters.:-)


39 posted on 12/15/2005 5:44:33 PM PST by GW and Twins Pawpaw (Sheepdog for Five [My grandkids are way more important than any lefty's feelings!])
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To: staytrue

I know the SW99 9mm has 16; the .40 cal. carries 12. Same as the Walther P99 it's a licensed version of.

Are you still using the Ban-era "civilian" mags?


40 posted on 12/15/2005 5:44:43 PM PST by The Grammarian
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