Posted on 12/15/2005 5:25:15 PM PST by mek1959
Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican?
Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans and Southern Republicans?
The answer can be found by posing the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Democrat's Answer:
- Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
- Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?
- Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
- Could we run away?
- What does my wife think?
- What about the kids?
- Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
- What does the law say about this situation?
- Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
- Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
- Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
- Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
- If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
- Should I call 9-1-1?
- Why is this street so deserted?
- We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
- This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.
- I could shoot in the air and maybe scare him off but that may be interpreted as some sort of torture.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Republican's Answer:
BANG!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Southern Republican's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.....(sounds of reloading).
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points that I bought you for your birthday?"
Shoot his balls off first so he has a few minutes of pain, then stuff pork rinds down his throat so before he dies he knows he'll never receive his 72 virgins, then one in the stomach for a nice slow death as the gastrointestinal juices dissolve his organs.
What does that make me?
Someone with a very good grasp of the problem and has a handy solution available for the rest of the world.
Thanks for the laugh.
Have you trained to rack the slide with one hand?
It can be done, but it is difficult. Tough on the teeth.
I've never tried it but if I were to try it, I would plant the grip in my right side above the hip and then pull the slide.
Have you trained to shoot with your weak hand? Might save your life.
I can shoot with either hand and practice with both on the range. I used to be a pretty good basketball player, so I don't really have a weak hand.
Try it in your PJ's.
I used to be a pretty good basketball player, so I don't really have a weak hand.
You are kidding right?
Heh. Cute kid.
You'd want the nine-iron if it is a narrow alley.
What a beauty! You rock too Eaker!
My lil' monster!!
She is a cutie, and looks like she knows how to handle that weapon!
Double lettered her Freshman year, might triple letter this year.
Grades are slipping though.
3.95 GPA.
Down frm 4.0.
She is grounded!!
A RAT wouldn't carry a gun - it couldn't fit in its tiny paws!
Such a strict daddy! She will totally excel because of the rules she has to follow now.
She has done it on her own.
She absolutely ROCKS!!!
A JERSEY CONSERVATIVE
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