Do you know how to use these tools?

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[AngryJawa]

1 1/4" putty knife: used to peel 3" long bloody strips of skin off the insides of left index finger in a manner reminicient of peeling a carrot.

I play with potentially dangerous woodworking equipment every day, yet it's the putty knife that has repeatedly drawn the most blood.

[TChris]

Thanks! Great laughs. :-)

[ErnBatavia]

If it can't be done with a hammer and vice grips then I can't do it.

You're a better man than I - I have yet to learn how channel locks work, and I'm 58 years old and the owner of two of 'em.

....Had a remodel carpenter here a couple of years ago and while discussing tools, he said "if it doesn't have a cord or an airhose, I don't own it".

[TChris]

We'd always send the new guys down to the maintenance bay to get a bottle of squelch oil.

A favorite of mine was to send the freshmen to the auto parts store to buy a can of dwell. You could even show them the dwell meter to prove that it was low.

[ADemocratNoMore]

> My cousin had a similar experience, using gasoline as a parts wash, in the garage.

I was on the maintenance crew at an apartment complex. We started the day meeting as a group in the garage, getting our instructions from Butch. He had amassed a collection of old, broken rotary mowers. He apparently couldn't get the blade off one, so he cut it off with with his cutting torch, while briefing his crew of around 20. I saw what was about to happen next and made for the door, nobody else did ANYTHING but stand there as Butch, too impatient to just let the blade cool, picked up a can of gasoline and pored a stream of it over the red hot metal. The garage was filled with a dense cloud of white fumes. Nothing else happened. We were VERY lucky.

[BureaucratusMaximus]

Hole saw: A seldomly used device for making perfect circles on any surface...used primarily when a hammer and phillips screwdriver cannot be found.

[absolootezer0]

working in a restaurant, we send newbies for powdered mayonaise or dough repair kits.
one of them unfortunatey went too far once. after not finding it in the basement, he assumed we were out and proceded to the store to buy some. he managed to confuse every employee at two stores before the third store called us asking wtf he was talking about.

[coloradan]

TAP: A device used to partially fill small, incompletely threaded holes with indestructible, non-removable reinforcement.

[Mr. Lucky]

I cut the end of my left thumb off in a table saw (and, of course, was grinning as I read your post).

[ovrtaxt]

STEEL FENCE POST TAMP:

6'long, sharpened steel rod used to shatter irrigation lines and locate buried electrical cable.

[coloradan]

... and rarely, natural gas lines.

[ovrtaxt]

While smoking, of course.

[xsrdx]

We'd always send the new guys down to the maintenance bay to get a bottle of squelch oil.

New soldiers are often sent to supply to fetch a box of grid squares.

[xsrdx]

Frickin Hilarious. Thanks.

[Old Professer]

Knot; left over from sawing a board along the crotch of a limb. From crotch to crotch, very fitting.

[Hatteras]

You should have looked over by the metric hammer...

[bmwcyle]

Does your wife hide the tools?

[Howlin]

O/T, but did you see this?

http://www.wral.com/news/5529486/detail.html

[misterrob]

The funny thing about certain requests is that they seem almost believable. When you are kid working as a laborer you get ordered to go fetch a lot of things. When you have nothing to do for a moment suddenly you are fair game.

It's all in good fun though and a good tradition.

[Redcloak]

24. Socket Wrench with Extension Bars: A tool for rounding off bolt heads and nuts in hard-to-reach places. May be used with a ratchet drive that doubles as a hammer. (See Irish Micrometer.)