By all accounts, bank thing was the last straw(mark morford barf alert)

San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 12/09/05 | mark morford

[Dane]

By all accounts, bank thing was the last straw

Mark Morford

Friday, December 9, 2005

In an astonishing but not completely unexpected announcement, Jesus H. Christ, vice president and CFO of All That Is Inc., appeared today on a large tortilla at a roadside taco stand in Zacatecas, Mexico, to announce that, effective immediately, the pseudo-Christian group Focus on the Family, led by James Dobson and most known for its blazing hatred of gays and its fear of glimpsing the human female nipple during nationally televised sporting events, is effectively banned from His Divine Beneficence.

"What happened was, the heavens and all spirits of goodness, along with Buddha and Shiva and Allah and Kali and a few others, well, we were having some margaritas and playing poker and tossing around recent headlines, when Allah chimed in that this Focus on the Family group -- a real scab on my big toe for years, I gotta tell you -- well, they just decided to yank all their accounts from a bank over the bank's support of gay rights," said Jesus, dressed in black Diesel jeans, Hugo Boss motorcycle boots and a snug tank top featuring a large OM symbol across the chest.

[Dane]

And the mainstream liberal media still doesn't know why it is losing circulation.

[johniegrad]

She tries way too hard to be clever and never quite makes it. She is probably laughing at her own jokes but I don't think anyone else is. Whatever they pay her, it's too much. She is about as interesting as Dowd.

[absolootezer0]

oh my.. reads like a scrappleface or and onion article.

[Right Wing Assault]

Only in SF might such an article actually increase circulation. In the rest of the country, of course, they are clueless. Their attitude toward us is, "Just keep lying to and insulting the bastards until they all go away."

Apparently, we have no real clue as to what Christ truly stood for.

Apparently, the MSM has no real clue as to what America truly stands for.

[Moose4]

The most frightening thing is, Miss Morford gets paid to do this. Think about that. The Chronic actually believes that this drivel is good enough to pay real money for.

I don't know whether that's a bigger indictment of the Chronic, or of the public in San Cramcrisco that buys it.

}:-)4

[Mr. K]

MARK morford is a girl?

[atomicpossum]

In the SF newspaper circus, Morford is just the freakshow designed to seduce in the geeks for some lurid sights. Outside of the shock value, there's nothing to him.

[johniegrad]

In a manner of speaking.

[atomicpossum]

MARK morford is a girl?

It's debatable.

[GreenLanternCorps]

Okay, is there a major religion that he has not blasphemed in this article?

[conservativeharleyguy]

Wow, San Francisco sodomites are now invoking the wrath of Jesus.

Now that's irony, folks.

Just don't stand too close when the lightning strikes.

[GreenLanternCorps]

He is used like a woman, and writes about it in nauseating detail.

[rightinthemiddle]

Wow, no one's posted its e-mail address, yet. I always like sending MM "love" notes.

[RedWireNut]

For some unknown reason, everytime I read something written by this jerk, I recall a riddle that we used to giggle about as children:

Q. what does a tongue tied dog say?

A. mark mark mark

Maybe it's because this idiot has the intelligence of a retarded dog from lower mongolia.

[IronJack]

Good satire = PJ O'Rourke.
Bad satire = this.

[jeffc]

Blasphemous statement, but that's OK 'cuz it's against Christians. Now if she had written something as bad about homos, she'd be fired on the spot!
The writer is Christophobic!