Public School Kindergarten/PTO is crossing the line

[Motherhood IS a career]

I have recently learned that student attendance at the PTA/PTO-organized book fair, "winter boutique" and other school sales at my 5-year old daughter's kindergarten are mandatory. Yes, mandatory, if you consider the fact that all children, regardless of whether they bring in money or not to shop with are taken to these sales to "browse". In other words, children do not have the option NOT to visit these fairs, and parents do not have the option to either consent or not consent to their child being taken shopping or "browsing" by their teacher.

Yes, technically, parents and children have the option not to purchase anything, but it doesn't take a degree in child psychology or behavioral science to understand the dynamics of the situation.

In effect, it's a shameless manipulation of young children and their parents by the PTO/PTA to maximize their fund raising efforts.

Before anyone misconstrues my intentions, I should tell you that our family loves books. In fact, we have a library in our home instead of a dining room because we have so many books. We have nothing against book fairs, nor for that matter, against raising money for good causes, especially education. A book fair where families can participate together is a great idea and a wonderful tradition. The same goes for holiday fairs (even if they refuse to use the word "Christmas"), plant fairs, cookie sales, T-shirt sales, and any other sale designed to raise funds for the school.

While we highly value books, literacy and education, we also highly value our freedom of choice and our rights, as parents, to decide what is best for our children.

In our household, our 5-year old doesn't shop for anything without parental supervision. We believe that at this age, a child doesn't have an adequate understanding of the value of money. Furthermore, in our experience, 5-year olds are very impulsive shoppers. Basically, they want anything and everything they see. They are ruled by their whims, and it is our job as parents to guide them through the marketing maze the world presents at their young feet. The management of money varies from individual to individual, and household to household. Therefore, we feel it is inappropriate for the school to require our child to visit a school sale under anyone else's supervision but our own.

I believe that the PTA/PTO is well aware of the tendencies of kindergartners, and despite this, or perhaps, because of it, they've decided that this is a really effective and useful way to raise money for a good cause. However, I believe that an important line is being crossed.

The PTA/PTO is using young children's impulsiveness and immaturity with money to further their own cause, and no matter how noble a cause that may be, no matter how well-meaning the organizations may be, it is wrong to try to achieve their goals by manipulating children or pressuring parents to participate in any given sale.

It is one of a parent's fundamental rights to choose where, when, with whom, for what, and with how much money their children may go shopping. It is not the school's or the PTO's place to take our children shopping or "browsing" for anything, not even books, without our consent.

Don't get me wrong, it's not about the money either. The easy solution for a parent might be to give a child a few dollars and let her buy some little something and be done with it. The pressure to do so is certainly there. However, good parenting is not always easy, and sometimes we have to stand up for our principles, otherwise, like a rock under dripping water, principles will be eroded, one insignificant grain at a time. Besides, what kind of example would I be setting for my daughter if I simply caved under "peer pressure?"

I realize that the option is always available to keep a child home from school when any type of sale may be taking place on any given day. However, I prefer that my child not miss school because of a sale. Hence, the undue pressure to just give in quietly.

I am in no way suggesting that we eliminate school book fairs or any other school sale. However, they need to be made optional, to be held after regular school/class hours. They should not be a requirement. There is no place for such things in the curriculum.

Still, it seems that no one has ever spoken up about this in our community, but I think it's about time someone did.

Certain decisions are a parent's prerogative. Schools must respect the rights of parents to make choices they deem appropriate for their children. This is not a trivial matter.

What do YOU think?

[Motherhood IS a career]

Oh yes, I am well aware that the PTO should be re-named to PAATP : Parents Acting As Teachers' Puppets.

[samadams2000]

Thank God for the Catholic school system.

[GovernmentShrinker]

I think you should make some serious noise. Mandatory attendance at fundraising events for ANY organization is not a legitimate part of any school curriculum.

[clee1]

I'm with you FRiend.

While we are at it, I'd like to see a ban on ALL school-sponsored selling activities: candy, t-shirts, magazines, etc.

Our tax dollars support the schools; our kids shouldn't be pressured into becoming unpaid salesmen.

[Valpal1]

I think your right and maintain my freedom by homeschooling.

Solves all my "forced participation" issues in one swell foop.

Good luck arguing principles with the PAATP though!

[Motherhood IS a career]

I think you should make some serious noise.

I'm about to. Unpopular as it may make me. Fortunately, I'm not concerned with winning any popularity contests.

[26lemoncharlie]

It the same thing that has been being done for over 40 years by the left wing socialists. They are taking over the rights of the parents to teach our children what THEY believe is correct and right. Social Engineering!!! Acceptance of lifestyles that we as parents would never teach our children. Read for yourself:

http://waysandmeans.house.gov/hearings.asp?formmode=view&id=954

[Pondman88]

Hmmmm----Mrs Pondman is very active in the PTO and these fundraising events, and nobody is twisting the arms of the little ones to buy anything.

I do agree that the PTO is basically a fundraising arm of the schools to equip them with stuff they can't afford to buy because of the exorbitant salaries and benefits of the teachers. But hey, "it's for the children"......

[Motherhood IS a career]

Good luck arguing principles with the PAATP though!

Thanks. But I'm not going to argue with the PAATP. I'm going to take it to the Board of Ed.

[WIladyconservative]

When my kids were in elementary school they offered parent nights at the book fair when we could shop with our kids.

Maybe that's the alternative you can offer to not wanting your child to shop and browse alone.

[twigs]

I never minded selling activities because my daughter enjoyed them so much and relished selling. But no child should be forced to attend a book fair and certainly not without a parent. Many years ago, my daughter attended a summer camp that had reading as a part of it. The teacher was awful and she was dismissed and replaced before the end of the camp. The university running it felt kids and parents needed some type of reimbursement (I didn't because I felt that the school handled the situation very well) so they gave the kids vouchers to use at a children's book store and took them there on an outing. My dau chose an author that I didn't like and for years would only read her books. I always regretted sending her to that camp because of the bookstore adventure.

[26lemoncharlie]

I do agree that the PTO is basically a fundraising arm of the schools to equip them with stuff they can't afford to buy because of the exorbitant salaries and benefits of the teachers. But hey, "it's for the children"......


For the Brain washing of our children and the eliniation of the authority and responsibilities of the parents towards their children.

[Red Boots]

The PTA/PTO is using young children's impulsiveness and immaturity with money to further their own cause, and no matter how noble a cause that may be, no matter how well-meaning the organizations may be, it is wrong to try to achieve their goals by manipulating children or pressuring parents to participate in any given sale.

True, but that's what they do. I felt the same way about the endless fundraising that went on in elementary school; and many other things they do with your child.

They do not observe proper parent/child boundaries, either yours or theirs as parent-substitutes, and; as you're finding out most other parents don't care.

You sound just like I did when my first child entered public school. It will only get worse, believe me. Mine endured 4 years before I took them out and homeschooled them; and they still thank me 11 years later.

[Polyxene]

"While we are at it, I'd like to see a ban on ALL school-sponsored selling activities: candy, t-shirts, magazines, etc. Our tax dollars support the schools; our kids shouldn't be pressured into becoming unpaid salesmen."

Double-Dog-Dittos to that!! I'm so glad my daughter is out of school! I hated those Willy Loman-money-making scams!

[LA Woman3]

Our bookfair was last month. The PTO sent out a schedule of when each class was going to the library. Parents were invited up to shop with their child. Does your school allow it?

[rightsmart]

My experience with these book fairs is that all students are taken to the fair during the school day. They then make out "wish-lists" that they take home to mom and dad. The guilt-trip approach seems to be a very effective marketing tool for the book-sales company.

The reason that it is mandatory is probably more of problem with teacher supervision (a teacher can't be at two places at the same time) than anything else.

The book sales company generally provides considerable amounts of books to the school's library in exchange for the opportunity to sell their books.

I would look at this as a "teachable moment"--an opportunity to explain your family's values.

[petitfour]

Well, our children have been going to book fairs since our oldest started school 9 years ago. We've never felt obligated to buy anything. And with one or two exceptions, we haven't bought anything. Our kindergarteners have attended these book fairs. They know we won't purchase anything. We tell them ahead of time. We have so many books that they don't care. And we take them to the bookstore enough that they know the selection is much greater at the store than at the book fair.

Our school is no longer having a book fair. They are having their book fundraiser at Barnes and Noble. So far, we have not been.

Can your kindergartener read? Are they selling material that is unacceptable to you?

[Pondman88]

Being in the PTO and doing this stuff is really a pain in the keister, but it is one of the few ways parents can influence the local schools. Actually we are somewhat fortunate in that our sons teacher is also quite religious, and actually talks about Christ in the classroom!!! I am holding my breath, waiting for her to get fired.

[for-q-clinton]

I was shocked too at some of the crap public schools do. Like in Texas, I buy supplies for my son and then they go into a group bucket and they all share. This way the poor kids doesn't have his feelings hurt because he bought rose brand crayons!

I'm in Virginia now and they don't do much of that here, but they trick you into attending PTA meetins (at least the first). They schedule it the same night as meet the teacher meetings. So you show up and they put you in a room and then proceed to listen to their crap. What I do now is I show up, get a program. Read the program to see what time the meetings start and then I leave and return when the meet the teacher meetings start.

But if it ever gets too big of an issue I'll just have to send them to private school. But that's why I choose to live in more conservative areas...less of that garbage (but you still have some of it).

[massgopguy]

This is a Shakedown.