A Necessity Airlines Shouldn't Take for Granted (BARF ALERT)

The New York Times ^ | 12-06-2005 | Christopher Elliott

[Turbopilot]

NEXT time you board a plane, consider visiting the restroom first.

< snip >

"For health reasons, we always hydrate thoroughly before and during flights," explained Roy M. Bohlin, a professor at California State University in Fresno. "With about an hour to go on the flight, our 9-year-old son needed to use the restroom and found it out of order."

< snip >

"Of course, our son was humiliated to have urinated in his pants and on the seat and was very uncomfortable for the rest of the trip," he said.

< snip >

Mr. Fink wonders about the health risks of operating a long flight with so few working bathrooms. So do I.

A functioning toilet is such a basic necessity that the law appears to take it for granted. Perhaps it shouldn't.

E-mail: elliottc@nytimes.com

[Turbopilot]

Posted just as a show of the sheer whiny idiocy of the idiots who write for the NYTimes. The example of the (presumably) 4th-grader - son of a professor, no less - who couldn't hold it for an hour was for show; the main point of the article was the leftupid (left+stupid) idea that we need laws - Federal laws - to regulate toilets. On airplanes. I'm just ranting now, but I haven't read such a stupid article in possibly my entire life. So I open it to FR's ridicule.

[Turbopilot]

Y'all are welcome to not ping the aviation lists on this, but it's just such a prime example of left/NYTimes/etc. stupidity, and it happens to relate to aviation, that I figured I'll ping you and let y'all make the call.

[Aeronaut]

a prime example of left/NYTimes/etc. stupidity

[NYCVirago]

"Of course, our son was humiliated to have urinated in his pants and on the seat and was very uncomfortable for the rest of the trip," he said.

And imagine how uncomforatble this kid will feel when the other kids in his school find out about this. Not that the other kids will read the Times, but if their parents do, this story will be all over the school.

[cowboyway]

"With about an hour to go on the flight, our 9-year-old son needed to use the restroom and found it out of order."

They couldn't ask for a bottle or some other container to go in?

This guy is a professor and just let his kid sit there and wet the seat?

I smell a left wing agenda here.

[Shalom Israel]

I smell a left wing agenda here.

I smell something else. Any takers wanna bet whether this is the kids first pants-wetting episode?

[GSlob]

Every airplane seat should be made a toilet seat, with a lever for flushing right next to the reclining knob. That would solve everything.

[papertyger]

the main point of the article was the ... idea that we need laws - Federal laws - to regulate toilets.

Why are you surprised? Is there anything more quintessentially liberal than wanting a law forcing others to accommodate "me?"

[cowboyway]

Every airplane seat should be made a toilet seat, with a lever for flushing right next to the reclining knob.

I like it! That way everybody sits around with their pants down and in case of an inflight scare, no embarrassing mishaps to cover up.

[GSlob]

yep. And the stalls in the first class would be more plush than in the plebeian coach.

[will of the people]

In the words of Jerry Seinfeld- Not going can cause uromicetisis. (Not that there's anything wrong with that)

[irishtenor]

Unless this was a small commuter plane, this is bunk. All jets from the 737 up have at least 2 bathrooms. Most have 3.

[dawn53]

They couldn't ask for a bottle or some other container to go in?

My thought exactly, hasn't he ever heard of a paper cup?

[mewzilla]

Maybe he's seen an airplane bathroom. I've held it for hours rather than use one.

[yer gonna put yer eye out]

"For health reasons, we always hydrate thoroughly before and during flights,"

Ya, this is smart...load up on water just before you know you're going to be in a confined environment for a few hours...
Proves yet again some people are educated far beyond their intelligence...

[herkbird]

Just think how trashy the toilet seats in the low life section of the plane would get. It's bad enough that this chronic pants wetter soaked his pants along with the seat that was probably never properly cleaned prior to the next flight, aaaarrrrggghhh.

If all seats were toilets, the smell would become unbearable as most folks would feel free to pass gas during flights as well as defecate and clog the seat causing raw sewage to flow back and forth on the floor as the plane pitched up and down during flight maneuver's, yyyyeeeeeccchhhhhh.

Lets just insure that all airplanes have plenty of functional toilets. We must then demand that all flight attendants are trained to insure that chronic pant and or skirt wetters would be properly assisted to prevent the wet seat problems in the first place.

During the passenger preflight, the flight attendants could mention that adult diapers are available for any passengers who may have a problem during a lengthy flight, while they are also demonstrating how to buckle the seat-belts.

They might want to mandate toilet breaks for any passengers that suffer problems with urine retention. They could also force these people to sit closer to the toilet facilities to help avoid accidents in the first place. This would also allow a parent or guardian to assist children or the elderly with such problems if they are having problems finding a working toilet, which I always seem to have a problem findings.

DEPENDS could hand out free in flight diapers as a way of advertising the many uses that there products make peoples lives more comfortable. This would be much cheaper than making each seat into a toilet facility.

Please feel free to make your feelings known about these airline toilet misadventures.

[dawn53]

I think it was Bill Murray, in "What About Bob?" who was always afraid his bladder would burst.

[oh8eleven]

Unless this was a small commuter plane, this is bunk. All jets from the 737 up have at least 2 bathrooms. Most have 3.
Exactly. And why couldn't the kid have used a bottle or even a barf bag? Damn, I just hate weenies.

[MortMan]

Please add me to this ping list. THANKS!

[coop71]

I dunno...what if a passenger has Crohn's disease or something? (Look it up if you need to, not to insult your intelligence.) I am married to someone with the disease and I have learned through him to appreciate a working restroom. I think bathroom facilities are important enough to regulate on planes. Really.