Posted on 12/06/2005 12:35:27 PM PST by 11th_VA
A pair of authors are offering tips on how parents can replicate the success of Asian parents who have raised academically driven children. Soo Kim Abboud, a physician in the University Health System, and Jane Kim, authors of Top of the Class: How Asian Parents Raise High Achievers -- and How You Can Too, spoke to Penn staff and students yesterday.
The authors say that due to their upbringing, Asian children are more driven than average Americans. Abboud said that while 50 percent of American children opt for a college education, 85 percent of Korean-American and 95 percent of Indian-American children do.
The authors said that a combination of American ideals and immigrant realities drives Asian-American kids to success.
In the nations from which Asian-American families immigrated, educators are traditionally highly respected, Kim said. However, she added, American parents often adopt an adversarial position regarding teachers.
Kim believes that Asian-American parents play a more significant role in the day-to-day decisions of their children.
She added that American parents should invest more time in guiding the activities of their kids.
"Independence needs to be tempered with mature advice," she said.
Abboud said that while younger children may feel this is too domineering or overprotective, they appreciate their parents' sacrifices and advice as they grow older.
"I really resented my mother's nitpicking as a child. As I grew older, I began to appreciate it," Abboud said.
At the same time, she added, Asian-American parents adopt American ideals in educating their children.
They have begun to encourage activity-based learning and independent research.
Kim recounted her own experiences.
"We would go to [the movie] Ghostbusters, and my mom would tell me that my task was to learn 10 elements in the periodic table. Ghosts were composed of elements," she said.
Abboud added that as the children of immigrants in an alien culture, often at a financial disadvantage, Asian-American kids may find it imperative to succeed.
Kim said that the academic performance of Asian-American children has declined with each generation as per capita income in their families has increased.
"Today's children are spoiled. They do not appreciate the sacrifices behind their family's wealth," Abboud said.
The audience's reaction was largely favorable.
College freshman Leslie Yuan wanted her mother to read Abboud and Kim's book.
"The talk was really impressive. I think my family's experiences bear out what was said," Yuan said.
Secret 1 is "instill a love and need for learning and education."
Secret 7 is "determine and develop your child's individual talents."
Secret 16 is "help your child view America as a great land of opportunity."
Secret 11: "Forget the 'do whatever makes you happy' mentality and strive for professions with financial security and intellectual fulfillment."
And they're taught that they should try to be worthy of their ancestry, that what they have is the product of many people who've gone before them, and they owe these unseen people their best efforts.
Often, the kids internalize these high expectations so keenly that they will describe their performance as poor, irrespective of how well they did on a test, etc.
Black kids will always describe their test grades as "aces". Korean kids will ace the test and say they totally botched it, and when they say that, they will mean it.
"Secret 1 is "instill a love and need for learning and education.""
Similar to the Jews.
Of course, many people don't know how to do this, since they were not brought up that way themselves.
I'm sure some creative Freeper will post the seven secrets to being a welfare mom ...
Something that is often ruthlessly crushed in typical one-size-fits-all force-funded government-run schools.
While there are a lot of positives about how Asian parents are raising children in the US, I've also seen too many who are mindlessly and heartlessly driven to achieve goals just because they've been told they must. I've been taking some intro science courses at night, at a public college, and see a lot of these kids. No sign of genuine interest in the subject matter, but in some cases literally in tears over an A- on a test. They are miserable because they feel like complete failures with an A-, and they are miserable about not excelling at something that they don't really want to be doing at all -- seems like success driven more by terror of failure than by desire for success.
bump
Check out the ruthless crushing that goes on in Japanese private after-school cram schools. And some Asian parents have the same mentality about how their kids should be studying here in the US -- a miserable stressed child with no time to paly is just fine, as long as the child is getting straight As in the hardest courses.
"Forget the 'do whatever makes you happy' mentality and strive for professions with financial security and intellectual fulfillment."
Boy, that one right there is priceless.
You're right, it can be taken too far. But for every kid harmed by being pushed too hard, I bet there are 10 harmed by not being pushed at all.
"It is not cheating unless you get caught."
C'mon now... You're claiming that Asians encourage their children to cheat?
I would think that would be dishonorable.
I wonder how much of the ethnic differences in academic success can be attributed to ethnic differences in family structure? For example, Asian American children are (much) more likely to be raised in two-parent familes than are European American and African American children.
BTTT
The "do anything to get ahead" mentality allows for it. Dishonorable means not being the best or getting caught cheating.
Right. We have too many kids who expect learning to be fun. Hell. I'll tell my child if he finds learning fun, it'll be a coincidence. The learning has to happen, fun or not. But not to the point of being miserable. There should be balance.
Yes, I must admit that you're right, there. And so I think both sides can learn from one another.
But I really, REALLY think you have a problem when you've got a country full of teenagers who cannot tell time from an ordinary clock.
I mean, that's just sick. And then there are the drug problems, pants falling down, etc.
Something is wrong, and tons of compensatory blather about how "creative" we are is plainly counter-productive.
Yes, the pseudo-academic emphasis on "creativity" and "self-esteem" and "teamwork" is idiotic. When I have children, I want them to spend a very few hours a day on serious academic work, a few household chores, and then be left the h#ll alone to do what they want the rest of the time. Let them progress academically at whatever pace a few hours a day results in. As long as those few hours are occupied sensibly, progress will be fast enough.
Could you please show us the entire list? This is great stuff.
"C'mon now... You're claiming that Asians encourage their children to cheat?
I would think that would be dishonorable."
From what I've heard (from someone who grew up in the far Pacific realm of the Soviet Union, among many Asian people) Asians generally think it is important to behave morally within their own family---much less so outside the family.
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