Why do humans prefer to have sex in privacy? Question follows a Penn couple’s flagrant display

Philadelphia Enquirer ^ | December 5, 2005 | Faye Flam

[billorites]

If scientists from another planet were trying to understand us, our obsession with privacy during sex would make a good thesis project.

The aliens might have noticed that most humans prefer to copulate while hidden away - in our cozy bedrooms or perhaps on a desolate beach dappled with moonbeams. Much fuss ensues when someone chooses to perform mating behavior more publicly, say in a sex club, or in front of a University of Pennsylvania dormitory window.

Why, the aliens might wonder, would crowds of humans gather to watch and photograph a pair of other humans at Penn who repeatedly failed to draw their curtains before engaging in intercourse? Why were the mating pair then so distressed about attracting a slightly wider audience when pictures circulated on the Web showing their naked backsides making the beast with two backs, as Shakespeare would say.

All this happened in the wake of a scandal that started with Channel 3's secretly planting TV cameras in Philadelphia sex club Kama Sutra, outraging patrons who go there to get some privacy while they have sex in large rooms full of other people.

Both incidents open up huge anthropological and sociobiological questions. Most animals don't care whether anyone watches them mating. They neither seek out nor avoid an audience. What's with the humans?

In societies from the sands of the Kalahari to the tiniest Pacific Islands, the cultural preference is for sex in private, says Christopher Kovats-Bernat, an anthropologist at Muhlenberg College in Allentown. Where people can afford it, "we segregate off a space in the dwelling that is devoted to two things - sleeping and sex." In many parts of the world, however, the private bedroom is an unattainable luxury.

While members of Kama Sutra reportedly pay $100 for the privilege of having sex in front of other people, couples in Japan are paying to be alone. There, extended families pack into single-room apartments, so a cottage industry has sprung up to provide "love hotels," says Kovats-Bernat. These by-the-hour rentals cater mostly to married couples.

The Seriono people of Bolivia also like privacy, but they sleep in common rooms in rows of hammocks, he says. So if one couple starts having sex, the neighbors will politely turn the other way.

There's some evidence a similar practice takes place in American college dormitories (though perhaps not at Penn).

And yet, many subcultures exist in which people seek out a certain lack of privacy. In Jamaica, Kovats-Bernat said, strip clubs offer something called "freaky sex" in which men get up on stage, strip, and have sex with the dancers. Either way, we seem to care whether people are watching us or not, which makes us quite different from, say, dogs, who couldn't care less.

In his book Why Is Sex Fun?, UCLA professor and noted author Jared Diamond explains why you and your dog will never understand each other's sex lives. No self-respecting dog would need to hide while mating, he says. Dogs also refrain from sex unless the female is in her fertile phase.

According to Diamond's book, our ape relatives routinely have sex in group settings but, like dogs, only when the female is in estrus. While some promote the idea that sex is only for procreation, Diamond notes that that's much more the case with chimps and dogs, who aren't interested unless they're likely to conceive. Humans, for some reason, evolved so that men and women want to mate all month long even though women are fertile for only a few days, which are hard to identify.

Diamond connects our so-called concealed ovulation with our desire for concealed copulation and outlines a couple of theories explaining why they evolved. One suggests the urge for privacy arose because it prevents conflict and thereby encourages group cohesion needed for successful hunting and gathering.

Illustrating with a more modern example, he writes that if it were an everyday occurrence for people to go into heat, get naked and full-out copulate, say, on the office couch, we just wouldn't get that much work done.

[peacebaby]

outdoors, my choice too.

[cynwoody]

More basic questions:

Why do humans wear at least some clothes, even in weather that does not require it for warmth?

Why do humans seek privacy to relieve themselves?

[albee]

"My bet is Faye Flam ain't gettin' any."

Is that Faye FLIM Flam?

[Dashing Dasher]

And which do you prefer? Indoors or outdoors?

Or, would this be a seasonal thing?

[tet68]

And that would explain a dog trying to hump your leg?

No, and it certainly wouldn't explain why your leg is
in estrus.

[VadeRetro]

Why don't we do it in the road?
Why don't we do it in the road?
No one will be watching us!
Why-y don't we do it in the road?

---- The Beatles's White Album

[virgil]

I think doing it in private has to do with avoiding predators. You're too busy to fight off an attacker.

[machman]

Why?

1) He is ashamed of being seen with her.
2) He is ashamed of being seen naked with anyone.
3) He is afraid of what her husband, boyfriend, etc would do if they were caught.

4) He'd get in trouble for doing the boss's wife, daughter, etc. 5) He'd get in trouble for doing anyone not his wife.
6) He gets performance anxiety.
7) He knows he makes funny faces while in 'the act'.
8) He knows he makes funny noises while in 'the act'.
9) He wears 'tightie whities'.
10)He has permanent 'shrinkage'.

[Mr. Blonde]

I was thinking the answer is not very many people are that confident in their "skills". It's like Seinfeld said, no one really knows what to do they just close their eyes and hope for the best.

[humblegunner]

And which do you prefer? Indoors or outdoors?

It's situational.

After a good grilling and subsequent stroll in the woods.. duh.

When the temp is above 90... indoors wherever.

Watching "Team America" is a plus 'cause then you get to say " F@ck Yeah!"

[Dashing Dasher]

A fine movie, I'll say!

Derka derka derka

[BobS]

On a Ventura beach in CA. They took our names and we were told never to come back there and they escorted us away. Some seniors nearby didn't like that. That was a long while ago and we did it as a stunt in an altered state:) What a GF that was.

I'm glad THAT didn't show up in a later full background check for the military or employment:)

[FreedomCalls]

HUH? Did Shakespeare say that? Cite play, act and scene please.

Othello, Act One, Scene One:

Iago

'Zounds, sir, you are one of those that will not

serve God, if the devil bid you. Because we come to

do you service and you think we are ruffians, you'll

have your daughter covered with a Barbary horse;

you'll have your nephews neigh to you; you'll have

coursers for cousins and gennets for germans.

Brabantio

What profane wretch art thou?

Iago

I am one, sir, that comes to tell you your daughter

and the Moor are now making the beast with two backs.

Brabantio

Thou art a villain.

Iago

You are--a senator.

[festus]

What is it with liberals and sex?

In my experience the folks talking about it all the time are the ones not getting it at all.

[Eagle Eye]

Ssssshhhhh.......that was the only one I could truly relate with.

[Eagle Eye]

Why do humans seek privacy to relieve themselves?

Walmart had a sign that said "Wet Floor" so I did.

Now I can't shop there anymore.

[Jersey Republican Biker Chick]

Ok Dasher, It was in Mazatlan on a beautiful beach it was during the afternoon, I was 16 on a cruise and the hot waiter looked like a young Elvis Presley.

[HawaiianGecko]

 

""Dogs also refrain from sex unless the female is in her fertile phase.""

Well, I've had a dog or two try to hump my leg in the past and I'm reasonably sure my quads were not "in their fertile phase. "

[19th LA Inf]

Iago I am one, sir, that comes to tell you your daughter and the Moor are now making the beast with two backs.

Well - - I'm speechless. I thought Hunter Thompson said it first in a Hell's Angels piece.

[billorites]

There are many people on the internet I'm sure, were you to make yourself available, who would gladly hump your leg.

Germans, for the most part.