Posted on 12/04/2005 11:20:04 AM PST by wagglebee
Shopping for kids seems to be getting harder every year. I hear from parents across the country who are shocked every time they shop not just by the prices, but by the toys and other desirables on childrens wish lists.
Do we really want our 4-year old princesses dressing dolls that look like street-walkers? Do we want our teenage daughters to dress that way? Do we want our adolescent sons spending hours playing video games that make a sport of killing policemen and prostitutes? What does it say about our country that some of the most popular products are so offensive? And, what can we do about it?
At one mall, mothers have been protesting a Victorias Secret for a store window displaying mannequins in sexually explicit S&M poses. The mannequins model the kinds of microscopic underwear that used to be reserved for strippers, but are now on the wish lists of young teenagers.
But it was not just the merchandise but also the poses that were too offensive, even by todays standards. Parents dont like having to walk past sexually explicit store windows with their children call them crazy, but they dont think its appropriate for a family shopping mall.
And they dont want G-strings marketed to adolescent girls. The mall management responded by accusing the politely protesting moms of violating the mall code of conduct!
Mall stores across the country are carrying many of the most offensive video games that money can buy. The all-time biggest seller, Grand Theft Auto now in its third version finally graduated to an adults only rating, which means the game should only be played by persons 18 years and older and may include prolonged scenes of intense violence and/or graphic sexual content and nudity. Several major chain stores will not carry adults only games, fortunately. Unfortunately, they all carry video games labeled Mature, often geared to pre-teens and young teens, even though they are suitable for persons ages 17 and older and contain intense violence, blood and gore, sexual content, and/or strong language. Believe me, they look more like X.
Parents hope that these ratings dont matter, since it is only a game and since kids see so much sex and violence on TV, movies and the Internet. They do matter. Research shows that playing a game that rewards violent and offensive behaviors is even more likely to influence what kids think and do than passively watching it.
Perhaps youre now thanking your lucky stars that you can shop for dolls instead. But millions of Bratz dolls, dressed like what used to be called tarts (now its called attitude), are sold to preschool and elementary school girls. These dolls have preadolescent figures and are sexy in a pedophilia kind of way. Is this the ideal you want for your darling 7-year-old?
A Bratz TV show helps sell the dolls and electronic Bratz gifts including telephones and TVs for your childs room. For parents and grandparents who care about their children, a TV or computer in the room may seem a very reasonable choice. Unfortunately, kids with TVs in their room watch more TV, watch more TV that their parents would consider objectionable, read less and sleep less. And kids who watch more TV tend to be more violent, are more likely to be overweight and tend to do less well in school.
The advantage of having TV in a childs room? There arent any, unless you want to see less of your child and not hear what they are watching.
Computers in a childs bedroom are a mixed blessing. Computers are great for schoolwork, but when they are in the bedroom, children are more likely to view pornography or be educated in chat rooms in ways you never dreamed of. Research shows that one in five kids receive unwanted online sexual requests.
So, if there is another room in your house for your child to use a computer, instead of their bedroom, thats a safer choice.
What can we do? If we keep buying sexualized dolls and violent video games, companies will keep promoting more of the same. One solution is to talk to family members who buy gifts for our children, letting them know, for example, what a Mature or Adults Only rating means on a video game. We can also talk to the parents of our childrens friends, to cooperatively establish standards that parents can agree on and avoid the all my friends have it line that is otherwise so effective.
And, we can all check Web sites such as www.toysafety.org and www.mediafamily.org to avoid the worst offenders.
Happy holidays? We will be happier if we make sure the things we buy our kids wont harm them. And we can ask mall managers for help, starting with a real code of conduct for what is sold in their stores.
The Sim City series of games is a fun game that is clean. I might recommend Homeworld and Homeworld 2. It is a strategy game where you command a colony ship and the space navy charged with protecting it. In the first you lead the remnants of your race out of exile and back to your homeworld. In the second game, you defend your homeworld against the sc-fi equvilant of barbarians while discovering the truth of WHY your people were exiled.
I remember the first time I saw preschool underwear for girls that were bikini it made me just plain sick. And I am talking about little girls and toddlers.
Most parents don't even care what their kids eat -- as evidenced by the alarming rate of obesity. I've seen toddlers drinking Coke.
Given the evidence, do you really believe parents care what toys their kids play with?
Now that my daughter is older I am being told of things she seen and did at a friends house. Like checking out porno. It is infortunate that the actions of others, that being adults can hurt other children by their carelessness. I also remember a time when my son was at an all boys birthday party and they all were checking out playboy or some kind of naked book of women and he knew it was wrong and wouldn't look at it even though they teased him about it. I tried to explain to him women are not meant to just be something men just ogle at naked and women are to be treat more respectful
I just reread that and it did not come out exactly the way I meant it to. lol I have a problem concentrating and have to type things over and over. But sometimes it is funny the dumb things I do. Today I watered my plants with diet seven up. I hope it doesn't hurt the plants! lol
You don't even come close to me:). I gave a college speech once (in front of a LOT of people) with my shirt inside out. Speaking of pop, I put some "New" coke on some ants one time. You've never seen drunker insects. I teach first grade and you would not believe the dumb things that I do. But I'm glad that I have good parents and students to deal with such a bumbling dummy such as myself:).
Some do, some don't. I'd wager there is a good number of both. I'd also wager those who don't care form a larger group, but that those who do care form a noisier and more adamant group.
If those that do are interested in organizing a boycott, and if they can make a big enough stink to be effective (somewhat doubtful), then they're welcome to do that.
If not, they can at least watch out for their own.
For me, I don't think what toys kids play with is so very important, but I think the issue is interesting as a symptom of various other things - inept parenting, change in standards for women, etc.
The only significant trend I see in marketing for kids is the "urban" trend. Apparently there's not much to do in the 'burbs and the city looks like fun to a lot of kids.
He must be at the Neverland Ranch.
I didn't meant that it is interesting for revealing trends in marketing necessarily, but for revealing aspects of the current state of our culture.
The "urban" trend.. that's been big since I was in junior high school. So it's a trend over 10 years old. The stability suggests more to it than just a marketing trick. Probably is that the 'burbs are boring, or that the grass is always greener.
The culture would seem to be just fine -- at least from what I can tell. Most people look out and say, "How horrible, I'm not like that," not realizing they are part of the larger cultural picture as well.
PG and PG-13 movies are good examples. Many of them contain one sexual innuendo (or worse) after another, contain nudity, explicit violence and horrendous bad language. For little kids and 13-year-olds? What's wrong with these people? If that isn't peddling crap to children I don't know what is.
Those clothing stores that are geared toward teenage girls are full of provocative clothing and some very racy lingerie. *See below.
Or what about teenage magazines? Condom advice and how to "Dress Like Your Favorite Celebrity". *See above. Oh boy.
Video games that are rated Mature or for adults are bunched right in with the Sponge Bob games at the local video rental store or game store. A lot of them are in cartoon format, too. Kids get ahold of these. What kid can resist the temptation after seeing the "cool" commercials for the game on TV? It's a lucrative business.
And no matter how much you safeguard your computer at home, you can rest assured that the average kid can find a way to get on the internet, uncensored, at their friends' houses and at school or a library.
Yes, it is the responsiblity of parents to control what games their kids play and movies they see. But the parents who don't parent are really screwing up us parents who do. What do we do about these clueless parents?
Educate them maybe? I don't know.
But the rest of us have to take up the slack for these clueless parents by not making inappropriate stuff for kids so easy to access. And "the rest of us" includes the media, Hollywood and the music industry. No banning, no censorship, but better and smarter product placement when it comes to questionable subject matter. Yeah, it's a burden, but makes for a better quality of life and keeps us civil.
I think the fad has been and gone - late 80's, maybe?
I still wish appropriate dresses didn't cost so much!
Thank you...we try our best. We are not perfect by any means, but we try.
We came home from the Lodge feeling really good..........I was shocked by the amount of compliments we were paide about our daughter. Even one guy who does not speak to me (long story) commented to my husband about what a well behaved child we have.
Yup, the very same Toughskins we wore as kids.
For a long time, Sears didn't carry them. I remember back a few years ago, I was trying to find a pair of jeans for my big boy (now 10) that didn't look like he'd had his belt taken away from him by the prison guards (which is how we got that oh-so-chic "baggy" look in the first place).
After trying on approximately 14,000 different pairs, I demanded to see the department manager. Pointing at my son, I said, "I refuse to dress my child in this manner. You can tell whatever buyer you want to, to start contracting for decently sized jeans, or I swear to you I will go to my mother's house on an archaological expedition and find MY thirty-year-old Toughskins. I guaratee she has them. Until then, I won't be buying ANY jeans from Sears."
(BTW...Mommy DOES have those jeans; in fact, I feel fairly certain that my mother has kept every single scrap of anything we did or made, up to and including the first belly button lint she removed from my umbilicus.)
Meanwhile, I hit the internet. Seems there are lots of places that sell slim-fitting or relaxed fitting jeans for boys...mostly they were western-style places that carried Wranglers Rodeo Cuts.
When Sears finally came to their senses, I was able to shop more locally, though once a year I place an order with that cowboy store as a "thank you" for keeping my kid in dungarees for five years.
Regards,
My hope is that people will slowly shift into to the latter set.
Good points. I too share your hope.
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