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Does anybody know how to cook a turkey?
self
| 11-24-2005
| self
Posted on 11/24/2005 6:04:43 AM PST by Gordon Pym
When I opened the turkey there was no instruction book
TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: 1800takeout; cook; cz; doomed; finetimetoask; lastminute; rsvpnothanks; turkey
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To: Gordon Pym
61
posted on
11/24/2005 6:31:59 AM PST
by
RobFromGa
(Polls are for people who can't think for themselves.)
To: billhilly
It looked like she had some kind of metal pins.
62
posted on
11/24/2005 6:32:08 AM PST
by
PeteB570
(Guns, what real men want for Christmas)
To: nuconvert
I saw that too! The next day I saw an article in the paper about how turduckin is getting to be the latest craze. It does look good.I saw it, too...Food Top 5; Cajun "Gourmet/Something" Co. sold them on internet...It was on the Food Channel.
63
posted on
11/24/2005 6:32:14 AM PST
by
skinkinthegrass
(Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they aren't out to get you :^)
To: Gordon Pym
My favorite way of cooking a turkey is the slow-roast method. Take a big turkey and stuff both the body cavity and underneath the skin as far around as you can go. Smear butter over the whole carcass and put it in a 450 degree oven for about 90 minutes. Then turn the heat down to 180 and cook it for about ten hours or so. The smell of roasting turkey will permeate the entire house, and when you go to carve it the meat will fall right off the bones.
64
posted on
11/24/2005 6:32:45 AM PST
by
Mr Ramsbotham
(Laws against sodomy are honored in the breech.)
To: dennisw
You mean you deep fry the turkey FROZEN???????????
To: Gordon Pym
When I opened the turkey Never having opened a turkey, I'm probably not a good source of information.
66
posted on
11/24/2005 6:34:08 AM PST
by
Casloy
To: dennisw
It does work like a charm.
Turkey injection prior to cooking works good also in the fryer. A guy I know injects different flavors for each side.
67
posted on
11/24/2005 6:35:03 AM PST
by
PeteB570
(Guns, what real men want for Christmas)
To: nevergore
<chuckle>
68
posted on
11/24/2005 6:35:43 AM PST
by
solitas
To: Bear_Slayer
LOL! Do you honestly think that Katie or Matt ever even contemplated making Thanksgiving turkey???
69
posted on
11/24/2005 6:36:08 AM PST
by
saveliberty
(Conservativism - the commitment to live within your own means and to take care of yourself & family)
To: Gordon Pym
Throw some fresh herbs and a cut up orange or lemon inside the turkey (after taking out the giblets). Rub the skin with butter and put it in a pan with the breast up. Go to the Bed, Bath and Beyond and buy an external probe type thermometer (the one with the probe on a wire and the lcd temperature display outside the oven).
Put it in the oven at 350, covered with a tent of foil. Assume about 20 minutes per pound. When it reaches about 150 degrees (probe in thickest part of breast), take the foil tent off and baste it with butter.
Take it out at 175 degrees and let it sit under a tent of foil for about 20 to 30 minutes.
Slice and eat.
Ask me about gravy next year.
70
posted on
11/24/2005 6:37:52 AM PST
by
Poser
(Willing to fight for oil)
To: Gordon Pym
Throw some stuffing in there and bake until the little button pops out, that's about it. (grin)
Happy Thanksgiving
To: saveliberty
Rub it with oil!? With gas prices what they are?
;)
Butter works.
72
posted on
11/24/2005 6:38:19 AM PST
by
newzjunkey
(CA: Signature deadline coming! HELP Enforce Our Border: http://www.CalBorderPolice.com/)
To: jer33 3
Call PETA...they have GREAT recipies......
To: Gordon Pym
To: Gordon Pym
- If frozen, defrost bird in refigerator the DAY BEFORE
If you forgot step one STOP and order a pizza
- Take bird out of frig, insert in OPEN baking pan
- Stick hand up birds butt and remove PLASTIC BAG of 'giblets'
- Throw 'giblets' in garbage
- Take one small loaf of bread, mix with 1/2 pound of yeast, insert up birds butt - remove all wrappings
- Sew up butt and where the neck used to be (that's at the front)
- Preheat oven to 3500
- Insert OPEN pan with bird in oven on bottom shelf
- Cook for 15 minutes per pound.
If you don't have a scale, compare the weight to your bowling ball, adjust accordingly - After 1/2 hour open oven and baste top of bird with pan drippings, water, 7-up, Vodka or Gin.
- After one hour open oven door and leave room, or house, have your cell phone
- At approx 1 1 1/4hours you'll hear a small explosion, that would be from the yeast 'expanding'.
- If no serious damage is done, re enter house. Otherwise use that phone
- Scrape 'stuffing' off walls and floors, put on platter.
- Continue cooking what remains of the bird until a golden brown.
- Remove from oven, let stand for 15 minutes before carving
- However if exploding stuffing was done properly, carving will not be required.
Serve to guests
75
posted on
11/24/2005 6:40:31 AM PST
by
Condor51
(Leftists are moral and intellectual parasites - Standing Wolf)
To: Gordon Pym
Ask John Murtha
He is recently acquainted with the roasting process.
76
posted on
11/24/2005 6:43:21 AM PST
by
pointsal
To: cgbg
He said they cooked the turkey upside down and then turned it right side up a few minutes before taking it out of the oven. I did that once by accident (never cooked a turkey before, woke up at 5 a.m. to put it in the oven and I'm NOT a morning person!) and it tasted great - very moist breast meat.
Only thing is, since I did it by accident, I didn't turn it back over, and the poor thing didn't have that "nicely browned" look.
77
posted on
11/24/2005 6:44:14 AM PST
by
Amelia
To: MinuteGal
I've been roasting turkeys for more years that I care to say, but I've never seen packet of "seasoning" tucked inside a turkey.Me neither, but then I buy the cheap birds. Bet it's really the giblets.
I had to control some serious facial switching yesterday when a neighbor asked if I was cooking the dinner because she didn't have a clue. My little one didn't have so much self control so was nearly on the floor with laughter exclaiming she did the whole dinner when she was 10 years old (except for mom lifting the hot bird out of the oven) - turkey, dressing, all the sides, and both pecan and pumpkin pies from scratch.
78
posted on
11/24/2005 6:44:33 AM PST
by
mtbopfuyn
(Legality does not dictate morality... Lavin)
To: Gordon Pym
Just put Teddy under glaring lights and take his booze away. He'll be sweating very quickly.
79
posted on
11/24/2005 6:44:37 AM PST
by
wizr
(I fear not death. Christ lives.)
To: Gordon Pym
![Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us](http://img469.imageshack.us/img469/627/turkey6an.th.jpg)
Fry it in one of these, it's easy as 1, 2, 3. But have the Fire Department standing by.
80
posted on
11/24/2005 6:44:47 AM PST
by
WideGlide
(That light at the end of the tunnel might be a muzzle flash.)
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