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Does anybody know how to cook a turkey?
self | 11-24-2005 | self

Posted on 11/24/2005 6:04:43 AM PST by Gordon Pym

When I opened the turkey there was no instruction book


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: 1800takeout; cook; cz; doomed; finetimetoask; lastminute; rsvpnothanks; turkey
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HELP!
1 posted on 11/24/2005 6:04:43 AM PST by Gordon Pym
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To: Gordon Pym

Is it Defrosted?? Have you stuffed it??


2 posted on 11/24/2005 6:05:20 AM PST by HHKrepublican_2 (OP Spread the Truth)
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To: Gordon Pym

And nobody's ever written a word, either in books or on the internet, about how to do it.


3 posted on 11/24/2005 6:05:44 AM PST by brewcrew
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To: Gordon Pym
Already posted.
4 posted on 11/24/2005 6:06:03 AM PST by B Knotts
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To: Gordon Pym

http://www.recipezaar.com/104958

http://www.recipezaar.com/r/q=roast+turkey

Happy Thanksgiving!


5 posted on 11/24/2005 6:06:45 AM PST by alnick
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To: Gordon Pym

Weight, suffed or unstuffed, roasted or fried?


6 posted on 11/24/2005 6:06:55 AM PST by SouthTexas (What part of NO don't you understand?)
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To: B Knotts

Interesting link.


7 posted on 11/24/2005 6:06:59 AM PST by LOC1
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To: Gordon Pym

15 minutes a pound for a bird greater than 8 lbs.

350 degrees.

A little foil over the breast towards the end so it doesn't dry out while the dark meat cooks.


8 posted on 11/24/2005 6:07:00 AM PST by billorites (freepo ergo sum)
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To: Gordon Pym

There is no hope....

Just go kill yourself now....


9 posted on 11/24/2005 6:07:23 AM PST by nevergore (“It could be that the purpose of my life is simply to serve as a warning to others.”)
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To: Gordon Pym
No problem, there is already a package of seasoning inside the turkey cavity, just pop it into the oven at 350 for 3-4 hours.

Remove seasoning at the table before carving.

10 posted on 11/24/2005 6:07:53 AM PST by TexasCajun
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To: billorites

I like to double the temperature and cut my cooking time in half.


11 posted on 11/24/2005 6:08:20 AM PST by brewcrew
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To: Gordon Pym

The internet is a wonderful place. You do have a search engine?

http://www.urbanext.uiuc.edu/turkey/techniques.html

BTW, if that turkey is not defrosted, then I hope McDonald's is open.

You might also want to check out some of the warnings on that web page. Stuff like how to defrost. About not stuffing the bird.


12 posted on 11/24/2005 6:08:28 AM PST by DugwayDuke (Stupidity can be a self-correcting problem.)
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To: Gordon Pym

There this wonderful tool named Google . . . .


13 posted on 11/24/2005 6:08:35 AM PST by 1rudeboy
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To: Gordon Pym

Order Chinese.


14 posted on 11/24/2005 6:08:38 AM PST by ClearCase_guy
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To: Gordon Pym
You should return the turkey to the store, for another one that has the operating instruction manual inside. That manual will have instructions like "Once the turkey is placed inside the oven, remove your hands from the baking dish for the remainder of the cooking time."
15 posted on 11/24/2005 6:09:08 AM PST by coloradan (Failing to protect the liberties of your enemies establishes precedents that will reach to yourself.)
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To: Gordon Pym
little Caesar's is open today.
16 posted on 11/24/2005 6:09:10 AM PST by Gone_Postal (government big enough to give you everything you want is a government big enough to take it away)
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To: Gordon Pym

Note to Gordon:
Next time - plan ahead
Good luck!


17 posted on 11/24/2005 6:09:48 AM PST by SnarlinCubBear (VISUALIZE WHIRLED PEAS)
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To: HHKrepublican_2
Well, at least its not a Tur-Duc-In.

I saw the show where the nice southern lady cooked on (3).

Thats a de-boned Turkey, Duck and Chicken. Lay down the turkey, smear with dressing, lay down the duck, smear with dressing, lay down the chicken, put a little dressing in the middle and then fold the whole critter up, tie and stick in the over.

Man, did that thing look good when it came out of the oven.
18 posted on 11/24/2005 6:09:49 AM PST by PeteB570 (Guns, what real men want for Christmas)
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To: Gordon Pym

19 posted on 11/24/2005 6:10:09 AM PST by RightOnline
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To: Gordon Pym

BTW, before you slap that bird in the oven, you might want to fish around inside the body cavity. Probably find a small package of giblets. Take 'em out before you cook. I usually throw them away but some folks use 'em to make gravy.


20 posted on 11/24/2005 6:10:16 AM PST by DugwayDuke (Stupidity can be a self-correcting problem.)
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