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Does anybody know how to cook a turkey?
self
| 11-24-2005
| self
Posted on 11/24/2005 6:04:43 AM PST by Gordon Pym
When I opened the turkey there was no instruction book
TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: 1800takeout; cook; cz; doomed; finetimetoask; lastminute; rsvpnothanks; turkey
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HELP!
To: Gordon Pym
Is it Defrosted?? Have you stuffed it??
To: Gordon Pym
And nobody's ever written a word, either in books or on the internet, about how to do it.
3
posted on
11/24/2005 6:05:44 AM PST
by
brewcrew
To: Gordon Pym
4
posted on
11/24/2005 6:06:03 AM PST
by
B Knotts
To: Gordon Pym
5
posted on
11/24/2005 6:06:45 AM PST
by
alnick
To: Gordon Pym
Weight, suffed or unstuffed, roasted or fried?
6
posted on
11/24/2005 6:06:55 AM PST
by
SouthTexas
(What part of NO don't you understand?)
To: B Knotts
7
posted on
11/24/2005 6:06:59 AM PST
by
LOC1
To: Gordon Pym
15 minutes a pound for a bird greater than 8 lbs.
350 degrees.
A little foil over the breast towards the end so it doesn't dry out while the dark meat cooks.
8
posted on
11/24/2005 6:07:00 AM PST
by
billorites
(freepo ergo sum)
To: Gordon Pym
There is no hope....
Just go kill yourself now....
9
posted on
11/24/2005 6:07:23 AM PST
by
nevergore
(“It could be that the purpose of my life is simply to serve as a warning to others.”)
To: Gordon Pym
No problem, there is already a package of seasoning inside the turkey cavity, just pop it into the oven at 350 for 3-4 hours.
Remove seasoning at the table before carving.
To: billorites
I like to double the temperature and cut my cooking time in half.
11
posted on
11/24/2005 6:08:20 AM PST
by
brewcrew
To: Gordon Pym
The internet is a wonderful place. You do have a search engine?
http://www.urbanext.uiuc.edu/turkey/techniques.html
BTW, if that turkey is not defrosted, then I hope McDonald's is open.
You might also want to check out some of the warnings on that web page. Stuff like how to defrost. About not stuffing the bird.
12
posted on
11/24/2005 6:08:28 AM PST
by
DugwayDuke
(Stupidity can be a self-correcting problem.)
To: Gordon Pym
There this wonderful tool named Google . . . .
13
posted on
11/24/2005 6:08:35 AM PST
by
1rudeboy
To: Gordon Pym
To: Gordon Pym
You should return the turkey to the store, for another one that has the operating instruction manual inside. That manual will have instructions like "Once the turkey is placed inside the oven, remove your hands from the baking dish for the remainder of the cooking time."
15
posted on
11/24/2005 6:09:08 AM PST
by
coloradan
(Failing to protect the liberties of your enemies establishes precedents that will reach to yourself.)
To: Gordon Pym
little Caesar's is open today.
16
posted on
11/24/2005 6:09:10 AM PST
by
Gone_Postal
(government big enough to give you everything you want is a government big enough to take it away)
To: Gordon Pym
Note to Gordon:
Next time - plan ahead
Good luck!
17
posted on
11/24/2005 6:09:48 AM PST
by
SnarlinCubBear
(VISUALIZE WHIRLED PEAS)
To: HHKrepublican_2
Well, at least its not a Tur-Duc-In.
I saw the show where the nice southern lady cooked on (3).
Thats a de-boned Turkey, Duck and Chicken. Lay down the turkey, smear with dressing, lay down the duck, smear with dressing, lay down the chicken, put a little dressing in the middle and then fold the whole critter up, tie and stick in the over.
Man, did that thing look good when it came out of the oven.
18
posted on
11/24/2005 6:09:49 AM PST
by
PeteB570
(Guns, what real men want for Christmas)
To: Gordon Pym
To: Gordon Pym
BTW, before you slap that bird in the oven, you might want to fish around inside the body cavity. Probably find a small package of giblets. Take 'em out before you cook. I usually throw them away but some folks use 'em to make gravy.
20
posted on
11/24/2005 6:10:16 AM PST
by
DugwayDuke
(Stupidity can be a self-correcting problem.)
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