I can only speak about how my younger children reacted when their oldest sister died. They were very composed. They were in total numbed shock.
The grief and pain was overridden by the unbelievability of it all. It just seemed like a dream to them, that they were moving through, that wasn't real.
After a few weeks has passed, the symptoms started showing. One son couldn't get through the usual track team workout without vomting uncontrollably, and wanted to quit the team, and hole up in his bedroom. His coach, who knew him well, as he was his history teacher as well, (very small school), told him to keep running and keep throwing up, that this was a natural reaction to a horrible loss, and that it would get better.
My youngest didn't cry for years. She was the closest to her oldest sister, who sympathized so with her for having two older brothers always teasing her. But, when she did, again, it was something at school that triggered it, and her teachers were there to hold her, and tell her it was ok, that it was time to stop trying to be so brave.
Children do not always grieve in "sociably acceptable ways". My son, who was closest in age to my daughter, never cried. He just went on an eight year drinking binge, having 3 serious auto accidents, until he got some counseling, and joined AA.
Let's cut these poor kids some slack. They have a hard and lonely road ahead, all uphill and rocky. They are going to walk "through the slough of despond", and need our prayers.
My sincere condolences.
Cindy, what was reported was from a reporter at the scene. He wasn't just describing the children, but the rest of the relatives as well.
I went from thinking the boy just "snapped" to the reality that he was obviously 'disturbed' before this.
I have to reserve judgement concerning Kara's involvment till we know more.
sw
Thank you for saying what needed to be said.