Posted on 11/19/2005 8:56:35 PM PST by ncountylee
LITITZ, Pa. (AP) -- Kara Borden sat with her four siblings in the chapel of Lancaster Bible College for her parents' funeral on Saturday. On the Bordens' street, white ribbons were affixed to mailboxes to honor their memory.
The relationship between 18-year-old David Ludwig and 14-year-old Borden was a closely guarded secret. There was good reason to keep things quiet: Their four-year age difference displeased their parents.
The tensions in the Borden house apparently spilled over last Sunday, when police say Ludwig fatally shot Kara's parents, Michael and Cathryn Borden, after an argument about their relationship, then fled with the girl. The two were found the following day after a chase and crash in Indiana. Ludwig is being held without bail on murder and kidnapping charges; Kara in the care of relatives and church members.
"They weren't officially boyfriend and girlfriend because their parents didn't approve of them being together," said 16-year-old Stephanie Mannon, one of Kara's neighbors. "Sometimes they would secretly get together."
Neighbors say the two teens met at a support group for home-schooled students. Kara's sister, Katelyn, told police she met Ludwig in May and saw him regularly at the group.
(Excerpt) Read more at hosted.ap.org ...
This entire thing is every parents' nightmare.
I knew a girl who admitted that her first boyfriend was in his 30s when she was only 15. They were together until she turned 19.
The description of his actions before and after their breakup leads me to believe that this is a man who had serious maturity issues. He, in effect, acted as if he was a teenager. She eventually outgrew him and moved on.
No bearing on this, since 18 and 14 really isn't a big difference and is really quite common. Any senior in high school who dates a freshman knows this.
What I wonder is if he was home schooled specifically because he had anti-social tendencies.
Would this be getting as much ink if home schooling weren't involved?
The dating wasn't really what I meant,although the age difference would bother me,it was the killings.
The idea that you do everything right and play by the rules and something like this can happen.
So much of life(and child rearing) is a crapshoot.
I told my daughter,who has 3 little ones,that you do your very best and then just cross your fingers until they grow up.
Big enough for a statutory rape charge in most states.
"Their four-year age difference displeased their parents."
As well it should have. In general, exceptions noted, an 18-year-old boy has a much better chance of nailing a 14-year-old girl than does a 14-year-old boy.
It's basically a senior dating a freshman -- and that has always been common in high school.
If that works, since I am 61 I am going to start acting 18. If I get lucky and she leaves me when she is 23, I will just find me another 18 year old.
Illegitimacy and adultery are common too. There is a huge difference between a "freshman" and a "senior"...good lord
Quite, but the maturity difference between a 14 and 18 year old today is minute, and if we're going to insist that they attend the same school, we're going to have to accept that dating is going to occur between those two age groups.
There is large difference between a 19-20 yr. old and 14 year old because the 19-20 yr. old is probably in college or working, and therefore has had more exposure and experience. One year in college can change the entire equation between relationships between an 18 and 14 yr. old. Most relationships don't survive one partner going off to college. Most relationships don't survive going off to different colleges.
The age difference in this particular case is not a major issue. At issue is the fact that kid is clearly a murderer, clearly troubled, and clearly unsuited to date anybody, regardless of age differences. Making this a matter of "age" or even making age a consideration accomplishes nothing and contributes nothing.
In my day we had junior high school, grades 7-9, and senior high school, grades 10-12.
Most people were 14 going into the 9th (I was 13), and 15 going into the 10th.
There was some dating between 9th and 10th graders, but other than that, in general, a sr. high school boy who dated jr. high school girls would have been ridiculed as a pathetic loser.
Somebody who was 18 and in the 12th grade would have become an object of ridicule if he hit on a 9th grader. The bright red line between jr. and sr. high was regarded as a mark of passage from childhood.
Admittedly, that's just one snapshot from one time and place, but in that time and place an 18-year-old boy who refused to leave a 14-year-old girl alone would either have been thoroughly thrashed by her male relatives, or, if that were not possible, arrested.
Some sick old men do just that... Many Arabs also do this, under the auspices of Islam, and apparently divorcing the girls after the honey moon.
There may be a huge difference between freshmen and seniors, but it isn't anything like the divide between high schoolers and college students. Functionally, high schoolers are similar enough that dating between seniors and freshmen is no different than a freshman dating a junior or sophomore.
In general, parents should be more restrictive about their children dating. Too many youth grow up believing they have to be emotionally and physically involved at all times.
I wasn't allowed to date until I turned 18, and by then it was no longer a necessity.
In my parents' mind, and now in mine, dating is a prelude to engagement, which is a prelude to marriage. If I'm not ready to get married, dating is pointless.
"Quite, but the maturity difference between a 14 and 18 year old today is minute,"
Maybe I'm out of date, but I think a well-bred girl still has a pretty good chance to be a virgin at 14, and while a 14-year-old boy may hae no realistic chance of talking, tricking, or bullying her out of her linen and her virginity, an 18-year-old boy may well have her deflowered before she even realizes what he's up to.
If I were 14 again and completely immoral, knowing what I know now, the rate of virginity in my jr. high class would drop from 99% to near zero in a matter of a few weeks.
Perhaps grown women who have lived a moral life would be unaware of that danger.
Yes...it's a double murder.
Four years is a big difference when it is 14 and 18.
We are all much too far away from the individuals involved and ignorant of the events of the recent past to have any meaningful opinions about this murder. I do believe though that a fourteen year old is very much responsible for his or her actions.
I don't try it because I don't want to get laughed at by some 18 year old.
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