E-RFD: New Elementary Particle Discovered

Oregon Magazine ^ | 11/14/2005 | By Staff

[oxcart]

E-RFD: New Elementary Particle Discovered A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Governmentium." Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by force particles called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of orbiting peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert.. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction within its field range, which like gravity is unlimited but whose intensity reduces by the square of the distance from the original source. A minute amount of Governmentium located within one football field of length away causes a single event to take over four days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons in a given location reach a certain concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium -- an element which radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

[Irish_Thatcherite]

Seeing a man having a poo is probably the kind of image that would stay with you, particulary when you were in the bowl....

[EsmeraldaA]

ohhhhhhhhuuuuu

YIKES!!!

I AM LEAVING AND NOT TURNING BACK!

[Irish_Thatcherite]

OK, I'd better flush....

[Matchett-PI]

"The moron particle, that must be responsible for the stupidity force. Also known as the liberal ...."

The moron specimen on the evolutionary tree:

[EsmeraldaA]

TO late!!

[Irish_Thatcherite]

So anyways, how are things?

[Irish_Thatcherite]

A macro-particle?

[EsmeraldaA]

You are impossible!

Things were very typical of a Moonday.
It almost over....

[Irish_Thatcherite]

It's Toooooosday over here!

[EsmeraldaA]

It was meant like Moonday

And your Tuesday is hardly began.

[Irish_Thatcherite]

The cow didn't make it, when he jumped over the moon

The little dog barked - what else do dogs do

And the dish said: "Your what?" to the spoon.

[EsmeraldaA]

*when he jumped over the moon*

HE?
LOL!
What did the spoon say?

BTW. The cow did make it.

[Irish_Thatcherite]

SHE is not over the moon, but on it.

The spoon said that she is.....

[EsmeraldaA]

....Pregnant....
.......sick of it......
.......sooo over the dish.........

[Nam Vet]

Never thought I would enjoy or so well understand a scientific article.

Nam Vet

[Irish_Thatcherite]

The dish is a broken man....

[EsmeraldaA]

Broken? Broken?! LOL!
It is not "the dish is a broken man' as much as 'the man is a broken dish'.

I'm not making any sense!
LMAO!

[Irish_Thatcherite]

I'm not making any sense!

Don't worry - I've been like that on this thread all evening!!!!

[EsmeraldaA]

Ohh well,

At least we are on the same non page.

LOL!

[Tulsa Brian]

Thanks for the ping. First good laugh of the day ;)