Just in from Army Rangers:
President Bush May Send Up To 5 Marines For French Assistance
President Bush has authorized the Joint Chiefs to begin drawing up a
battle plan to pull France's ass out of the fire again. Facing an
apparent overwhelming force of up to 400 pissed off teenagers Mr. Bush
doubts France's ability to hold off the little pissants. "Hell, if the
last two world wars are any indication, I would expect France to
surrender any day now", said Bush. Joint Chiefs head, Gen. Peter Pace,
warned the President that it might be necessary to send up to 5 marines
to get things under control. The general admitted that 5 marines may be
overkill but he wanted to get this thing under control within 24 hours
of arriving on scene. He stated he was having a hard time finding even
one marine to help those ungrateful bastards out for a third time but
thought that he could persuade a few women marines to do the job before
they went on pregnancy leave.
President Bush asked Gen. Pace to get our marines out of there as soon
as possible after order was restored. He also reminded Gen. Pace to make
sure the marines did not take soap, razors, or deodorant with them. The
less they stand out the better.