[pollyannaish]

I want to be very clear: THOSE SITUATIONS ARE NOT WHAT I AM REFERING TO. Those situations are an abomination, and are NOT real marriages.

You are absolutely correct about relationships like that. Those people should not, under any circumstances, have to stay together. And there is no doubt that sometimes people did. In fact, I think for Christians the Bible is clear that is not something one has to endure.

But I also believe that there is an IDEAL that we have strayed from and we use bad situations as an excuse.

Let me use this as an example: While it is true that many of us would not fault a woman for terminating a pregnancy that resulted from rape, that is the exception rather than the rule. Yet that situation is used to justify all of those abortions that are a matter of convenience, because the pregnancy was a result of a bad decision.

Let me put it another way—I know of some women who divorce because of abuse. But I know a lot more women who divorce because they were bored, or disappointed or wanted to find "something better." Most divorces happen because people decide at some point, however passively, that their own "needs" are more important than anyone else's. That is not always true, but it is true more often than not.

I am no way wanting to dissect other people's decisions here. I am not in those situations specifically so I have no bearing on the choices others make.

What I am trying to say is that there is a function, or role that marriage has to play in society at large. It is NOT just a personal decision, but rather a PUBLIC decision. As a result, marriage strengthens the fabric of society. Divorce weakens that fabric..not just the lives of the people directly involved.

[laney]

I agree..TOTALLY..
I remember watching th Brady Bunch, Father Knows Best Bewitched when I was a kid and thought Wow THE Perfect Family! then when I found out the Brady dad was GAY so was DARRIN, the Father in Father knows best was a DRUNK then I found out my best friends father who I also thought was PUURFECT was molesting all the little girls in the neighborhood REALITY STRUCK.
Then the counselor at the Catholic Church I attend told me that half the congregation is in therapy for Adultery or some kind of sexual immoral behaviour I realize marraige is for the tough at heart..

[Drew68]

Most divorces happen because people decide at some point, however passively, that their own "needs" are more important than anyone else's.

. . .

What I am trying to say is that there is a function, or role that marriage has to play in society at large. It is NOT just a personal decision, but rather a PUBLIC decision. As a result, marriage strengthens the fabric of society. Divorce weakens that fabric..not just the lives of the people directly involved.

Perfectly spoken.