If I didn't know better I'd say those two are the SAME PERSON!
What an amazing coincidence!
Mandrake: Well, no I... I can't say I have, Jack.
Ripper: Vodka. That's what they drink, isn't it? Never water?
Mandrake: Well I... I believe that's what they drink, Jack. Yes.
Ripper: On no account will a commie ever drink water, and not without good reason.
Mandrake: Oh, ah, yes. I don't quite.. see what you're getting at, Jack.
Ripper: Water. That's what I'm getting at. Water. Mandrake, water is the source of all life. Seven tenths of this earth's surface is water. Why, you realize that.. seventy percent of you is water.
Mandrake: Uhhh God...
Ripper: And as human beings, you and I need fresh, pure water to replenish our precious bodily fluids.
Mandrake: Yes. [chuckles nervously]
Ripper: You beginning to understand?
Mandrake: Yes. [chuckles. begins laughing/crying quietly]
Ripper: Mandrake. Mandrake, have you never wondered why I drink only distilled water, or rain water, and only pure grain alcohol?
Mandrake: Well it did occur to me, Jack, yes.
Ripper: Have you ever heard of a thing called fluoridation? Fluoridation of water?
Mandrake: Ah, yes, I have heard of that, Jack. Yes.
Ripper: Well do you now what it is?
Mandrake: No. No, I don't know what it is. No.
Ripper: Do you realize that fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous communist plot we have ever had to face?
A letter has come into my hands. Here is part of it showing how huge this conspiracy is and how far reaching it is.
(exerpted):
"Dear Pope: 1593 A.D.
As you know I have been researching the history of Man..........It has come to my attention that the word 'human' is not Latin, but Sanskrit, from 'hanuman' the well known Hindu monkey God......... We all know that in Hindu theology, we rise by levels until we reach the deity. My research conclusively shows that the deity is Hanuman. In other words our existence here on Earth is part of our becoming one with a monkey.............I urge your holiness to cover this up. If it becomes popular knowledge the Earth will descend into chaos and turmoil...................
Yours, Prof. Fribbitz
FR University (located on an island somewhere off the coast of Transylvania)"
Unfortunately the pope at that time (late 1500's) was too busy with the French and English and Germans to do much, but his secrtetary made sure to change the definition to "humanus" from "Hanuman". The Catholic Church is part of this great conbspiracy!
The next stage is an old Victorian goof named Charles Darwin. He promulgated a theory that we descended from monkey and ape like ancestors. Fortunately the Vatican's strong arms got to him before he said we were all monkey's Uncles.
Recently the DNA sequence of Hanuman's (oops!, humans) and Chimp's have been determined. Once again the Vatican strong armed these people into saying we are only 98% similar. The truth is we are 100% the same.
This letter is crumbling before my very eyes, but the truth must be told.
WE ARE NOT DESCENDED FROM MONKEYS - WE ARE MONKEYS!.
Creationists and Evolutionists alike will both be astounded by this. We must tell the truth. When you achieve perfection and become one with the deity you will look like this:
http://www.sanatansociety.org/indian_epics_and_stories/the_life_of_hanuman.htm