Posted on 10/31/2005 8:30:15 AM PST by genefromjersey
Scratch Where it Itches
I
There was a gal named Ida Mae :
When she was seventeen,
She went to Atlantic City
To become a Beauty Queen.
She could sing just like an Angel,
An’ her figger shore did please-
But then she started scratchin’
Like an ol’ houn’ dog with fleas !
Chorus
Scratch where it itches-
Right down in yer britches;
Scratch where it itches-
An’ not where it looks the best !
II
Oh, it musta been contagious ,
Or somethin’ in the air –
‘Cause all of them Contestants
Started itchin’ everywhere !
They had to stop the Pageant :
All the Judges hollered “Whoa !”
When lovely Miss America
Scratched herself from head to toe !
Chorus
Scratch where it itches-
Right down in yer britches;
Scratch where it itches-
An’ not where it looks the best !
III
There’s a moral to this story-
Now that we’ve had our fun :
Folks are pretty much the same
After all is said and done.
There’s times you can’t be subtle-
When you gotta be direct:
When you gotta scratch even though it ain’t
Politically correct !
Chorus
You gotta scratch where it itches :
Right down in your britches-
You gotta scratch where it itches,
An’ not where it looks the best !
There was a young lady from Natchezs
Whose garments were always in patches
When comments arose
on the state of her clothes
She drawled when I itches I scratches
There once was a man from Nantucket...
...um...never mind.
I saw a gal that scratched all the time. Found out she had crabs.
chiggers?
Cooties. All girls have cooties.
Well, there's shots for cooties.
Groin chiggers, no remedy.
I knew a girl once who had crabs. She got rid of them by squatting over a mirror. All the crabs thought it was a new ass and jumped on it.
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