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Rocky Sequel to Knock Out Social Security
http://www.nationalledger.com/artman/publish/article_27261221.shtml ^ | Chris Davis

Posted on 10/19/2005 3:52:16 AM PDT by cyborg

Los Angeles—For yet a sixth time, there is to be another Rocky sequel. The film, titled Rocky Balboa, was announced Monday by Columbia Pictures, Revolution Studios and original distributor MGM, which will team up to produce what a press release notes as a return to the style and grit of the 1976 franchise-launching original.

The story will pick up with the fictional prize fighter retired and a widower in a retirement home—meaning no Adrian—who, now broke and after a attempting to overdose on Viagra, agrees to take on Apollo Creed for a third time in a nursing home bout to duke it out for their Social Security retirement.

The hard hitting scenes are said to take the viewers from the streets of Philadelphia to a ring in Los Angeles, California where the fight of the century is to take place. From the Geritol supplements to the wheelchair access ramp at the Philadelphia Museum of Art, each dramatic minute is reported to keep viewers spellbound to its spine tingling conclusion. The producers have pulled no punches in bringing yet another heartwarming Rocky sequel that reaches in and grabs the heart of any American that cares about Social Security.

“Rocky Balboa is about everybody who feels they want to participate in the race of life, rather than be a bystander. You’re never too old to climb a mountain, if that’s your desire,” said a 59-year old Stallone. “Yo! It’s also for people that think Social Security is insolvent and should be privatized without penalizing the taxpayers!”

Rocky Back Again Rocky Back Again The first Rocky introduced everyone’s favorite underdog, a blue-collar, journeyman puncher who goes a full 15 rounds with flamboyant champ Apollo Creed. Although Rocky eventually loses a decision, the film scored a knockout. With a budget of just $1 million, Rocky became one of the top-grossing films of the ‘70s, pulling in $117 million domestically and $220 million in worldwide ticket sales. It also established the soundbite “Yo, Adrian!,” made Stallone a household name, scored nine Oscar nominations (Best Actor and Best Screenplay for Stallone, among them) and won three Academy Awards, including Best Picture.

Stallone, who wrote all five Rocky movies and directed the second, third and fourth films, has reportedly been working on the script for the sixth go-round for some time now, desperately dealing with Rocky on Medicare. He said he felt the time was right to slip on the gloves one last time given the currents going on in his own life, especially as an aging action star that’s broke.

Stallone’s last significant big-screen role came in 2003’s Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over; his most high-profile gig of late was hosting NBC’s low-rated reality series The Contender, which traded on his Rocky fame, but like Old Mother Hubbard, there’s no food in the cupboard.

“I am drawing on a lot of my feelings that are in synch with many people’s feelings about facing the last chapter of their lives and how they want it to be written. Rocky goes through the skepticism of trying to go against the tide and fight Social Security insolvency at the same time,” the actor told Daily Variety. “This film is also for those that have to choose between a hot meal and prescription drugs.”

Executive producing will be Robert Chartoff and Irwin Winkler, who oversaw the earlier Rocky pictures, while their sons, Charles and David Winkler and William Chartoff, will produce along with Kevin King.

Producers are said to be talking with former actor, Carl Weathers, to reprise his role as a wrinkled Apollo Creed. Rocky, of course, isn’t the only muscle-bound hero Stallone is taking out of mothballs. He’s also breaking out the dusty bandana for a fourth turn as Rambo. The film is described as “Rambo on a cardiac monitor.” Stallone will also write that screenplay.

According to Stallone, filming for the sixth Rocky flick is planned for an early 2006 start—both in Philadelphia and Las Vegas. After fifteen years, Rocky Balboa fans have waited with baited breath for yet another Rocky sequel. This time, hair will fall out and false teeth will fly, as Creed and Rocky go at it once again in an attempt to knock out Social Security.

And when Creed said, “Get up out of that wheelchair, Balboa and we’ll finish this fight!” He really meant it.

Political Satirist Chris Davis is the author of Elective Decisions and In Defense of Liberty, two political thrillers from the Whiskey Creek Press.


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To: Sgt_Schultze
Apollo died at the hand of the Russian fighter (Drago) in Rocky IV. Just who did they bury at the cemetary?

Awww, you ruined the ending! I was gonna see that...

21 posted on 10/19/2005 6:27:22 AM PDT by Petronski (I love Cyborg!)
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To: cyborg
So the rumor about Rocky VI being about a homeless Rocky being solicited for Bumfights is just that?

How about Rocky Goes To Washington where he kicks Billy Jack's @$$?

22 posted on 10/19/2005 6:31:01 AM PDT by weegee (To understand the left is to rationalize how abortion can be a birthright.)
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To: cyborg

The real movie will probably be even funnier than this satire.


23 posted on 10/19/2005 6:31:20 AM PDT by sanemom
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To: SueRae
I never watched the first five.., they were that bad..

If you never watched them, how do you know whether they were bad or not?

24 posted on 10/19/2005 6:38:02 AM PDT by tnlibertarian
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To: ARCADIA
Nursing home at age 60?

It was all those 'roids.

Hemo- or Ste-, I'm not sure.

25 posted on 10/19/2005 6:59:07 AM PDT by Erasmus ("They caught my honey makin' booze, but you know I love her still")
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To: AlbertWang

It is a weak curve. Have you seen the competition these days? Good Lord.


26 posted on 10/19/2005 2:27:39 PM PDT by Alexander Rubin (Octavius - You make my heart glad building thus, as if Rome is to be eternal.)
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To: Alexander Rubin

B is still passing.

:)


27 posted on 10/19/2005 10:59:02 PM PDT by writer33 (Rush Limbaugh walks in the footsteps of giants: George Washington, Thomas Paine and Ronald Reagan.)
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