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To: Sally'sConcerns

"Dad's" behavior in this sad vignette is a caution. Onus is on the WIFE to make something like THAT work? Sounds like "Dad" may not have been all that kind to his own wife and daughters before either.

That being said, such a situation doesn't necessarily have to end up in splitsville. My brother blew up like that once years ago. Broke a wooden spindle and bashed a hole in the wall with a vitamin bottle. But his wife did not walk out. Several family members were hastily summoned and they talked him into going to a mental hospital. Once he got the proper medication he was back to normal function.


432 posted on 10/14/2005 7:06:44 PM PDT by HiTech RedNeck (No wonder the Southern Baptist Church threw Greer out: Only one god per church! [Ann Coulter])
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To: HiTech RedNeck
"Dad's" behavior in this sad vignette is a caution. Onus is on the WIFE to make something like THAT work? Sounds like "Dad" may not have been all that kind to his own wife and daughters before either.

The story about my Dad would be a whole nother chapter. For lots of reasons my Dad had a hard time loving me. After a little therapy, listening to family history, etc. I can understand about my Dad. He never physically or mentally abused my Mom or my sister, just me, but I know why and it's ok. So, not only was there that reason but my parents lived together til death and he fully expected my sister and I to do the same. Divorce just wasn't an option to him.

While I understand people can have an episode and it doesn't have to mean the end of the marriage, mine wasn't like that. I left once I realized it didn't matter how I acted when he came home, I was going to be in danger whether I was upset or whether I was happy to see him.

He's still out there and still abusing women he's in relationships with. I had one shot at maybe helping him learn how to do things differently. He really loved the wife after me and she left him for much the same reasons I did. I asked him if he was willing to do whatever it took to make that relationship work and he said yes.

Unfortunately by the time I located a counselor and talked his wife into agreeing to give it a 2nd chance, he changed his mind...all in the space of 4 hours. It's a shame because I really liked that wife but she deserved better.

441 posted on 10/14/2005 8:54:19 PM PDT by Sally'sConcerns
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