all4one, this is just SO heartbreaking. I know well the feeling and the agonies you are experiencing. I have had one cat vanish without a trace; one cat suddenly just die in the house and had to put one cat to sleep....all within the last year. Three years before we put our beloved Newfoundland dog, Nana, to sleep. She lived 12.3 years which is something of a record for a giant breed dog. We do treat our four leggeds as our kids. Their loss is wrenching. Now our newest newfie pup turned six months last week and the other newfie will be four years old soon. Yes, I will hold them both extra close this day. I always said that the big slobbery kisses of a newfie are just as healing as kisses from Jesus. THat's why D-O-G spelled backward is G-O-D because they love you no matter what.
I found solace in the belief that a loving God (I'm praying for you) will provide for all our needs in Heaven, and so I am convinced that we will see our beloved pets again. They'll be young and frisky and so will we! We'll all be at play in the fields of the Lord.