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Posted on 09/30/2005 8:35:12 PM PDT by John Semmens
Ray Nagin, mayor of New Orleans, lashed back at critics after the FBI discovered that up to 700 so-called members of the city police force simply did not exist. Funding for many of these officers was provided by the federal government.
"During the storm and aftermath we'd heard reports that hundreds of New Orleans police officers had deserted their post," said an FBI spokesman. "Further investigation indicates that these posts had never been manned and the funds supposedly paid in wages has disappeared."
"Sure we overstated the number of officers on the force," said Nagin. "We did this to deter crime."
As Nagin explained it, the phantom officers were used as a decoy to frighten would-be offenders. "Just as George Washington lit fake campfires to lull the British troops before his surprise attack at Princeton, we in New Orleans have employed a similar strategy."
The effectiveness of Nagin's alleged strategy is in doubt, though. New Orleans has one of the highest crime rates per capita in the nation.
As for what happened to the funds that were supposed to have paid police salaries, Nagin asserted that they were used to hire consultants and purchase computer software needed to sustain New Orleans' "virtual police force."
"The software had to be custom made," said Nagin. "It's not something you can buy at CompUSA. Software designers don't come cheap. Neither do the public relations experts who developed our media campaign."
The media campaign featured TV spots of various street people implying that they could be undercover cops. In one ad, an apparently toothless derelict looks into the camera and says "I be watchin' you. So, don't you go misbehavin'."
Unimpressed by Nagin's explanation, the FBI asserted it will continue its investigation.
(Excerpt) Read more at azconservative.org ...
You'd think people would wonder what "Semi News" means and realize it's a joke. Man, people are too ready to throw a fit about anything.
------------------------------- Really!
I used to have a great deal of respect for most of the posters on here. Can't you guys tell immediately this is a joke. I laughed my ass off as I read it, then laughed even more at the first couple of responses that believed this was true. When I saw how many of our posters believed a story this ridiculous from "semi-news", I was shocked. C'mon fellas, you surely couldn't bite on something that crazy.
CT
Did anyone actually see any New Orleans police in Vegas "on vacation" a few days after the hurricane? Or were they sent there on paper to hide them? Also, weren't there a couple hundred abrupt police resignations just three or four days after the storm?
Methinks SEMI-NEWS has about as much truth to tell as any of the MSM, only difference is, SEMI NEWS has a sense of humour while the MSM is Doom and Gloom.
Both my BS meter and my satire meter are pegged, but I don't know which is more accurate.
LMAO - this is great!
I also loved Changing Standards Make it Tough for Schools to Define Unacceptable Profanity
As a start, the Boca Raton School District has made the "Rap Dictionary" required reading for all teachers. "To the unhip teacher, hearing one student call another 'bitch' or 'nigga' sounds derogatory," said Buckener. "But the Rap Dictionary defines these words as the equivalent of 'girlfriend' and 'friend,' respectively."
Trying out a hipper turn of phrase, Buckener vowed he was going to show the students he was their “f'ing nigga."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Could this possibly be an example of the "10,000 new cops" Bill Clinton managed to provide to America?
Also, weren't there a couple hundred abrupt police resignations just three or four days after the storm?
And three 'suicides'?
I wish you were right. But this issue will never see the light of day.
10:1 odds.
Can anyone guess why?
Answer: Jesse and Al are on the job.
Satire?
What is so sad is that since it's New Orleans, we just don't know.
your tagline: I, too, have become totally disenchanted with Oprah. I used to get her magazine, but now I refuse to subscribe and am throwing (not donating) all my Oprah magazines away.
When she had her little female hysteria with Cameron Diaz last year before the election I was disgusted. She, like many other stars, use their fame and influence as a political platform. Shut up and Sing (Already)! or speak.
Great satire!
The scary part is that I had to click the link and check out the other stories to be sure.
Very well written!
Better see your optometrist. Though I wish you were right.
We've been conditioned by hearing the unbelieveable as reality for many years now. Homosexual "marriage"? Who would have believed that 25 years ago?
What I wondered was if these virtual cops could vote? It's a rhetorical question of course. An automatic 700 extra votes for Nagin.
The FBI is involved -- not the N.O. police's corruption squad.
Is this a real story?
"As for what happened to the funds that were supposed to have paid police salaries, Nagin asserted that they were used to hire consultants and purchase computer software needed to sustain New Orleans' "virtual police force." "
I've heard this line before. Mayor Nagin's comments have all the earmarks of fraud, and the FBI knows it. The use of consultants to defraud and obtain public funds is a real old trick.
I'd like to volunteer my software writing skills, and I'l only charge $20M per year.
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