Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Most awful movies (in celebration of Hollywood's fourth declining revenue year in a row)
9/28/05 | ltn72

Posted on 09/28/2005 9:11:34 AM PDT by pabianice

Movie theater revenues are down 10% in the past three years because of home video technology and because movie quality has objectively continued to decline. We Freepers occasionally review a movie here for fun and to warn others not to waste their money.

So, for a change of pace, let's discuss really bad movies we've seen for one reason or another. I propose three classes of bad movie:

Class 1. A bad movie you sit through because of peer pressure

Class 2. A really bad movie you force yourself to watch because, darn it, you paid for it!

Class 3. Horrifyingly bad movies you simply leave, dragging yourself up the aisle with your arms because your legs have gone numb from shock.

Examples:

Class 1: "The Incredible Lightness of Being" -- stupifyingly bad writing and performances, polished off by a plot involving a serial adulterer physician ruining the lives of all around him for his own sexual gratification – won numerous awards in Europe

Class 2: "The Strawberry Statement" -- I still remember the poster: "The Vibes Were Good, but the Times Were Bad" -- horrifyingly bad performances around a story of beautiful, gentle hippies going to college in San Francisco and lovingly protesting the Vietnam War, only to have the experience ruined by Cylon-like police in riot gear gassing and clubbing them to death during a sit-in for peace; also includes some of the worst dehumanization of women ever portrayed on the screen

"Coming Home" -- what can you say about a movie with Jane Fonda that tells the tale of a maimed vet coming home from the Illegal Vietnam War on Terror to win the heart of a military officer's wife who realizes that her Marine husband is actually a monster (who's also lousy in bed, of course) and so leaves him for the maimed (but good in bed despite the loss of most of his appendages) and virtuous war-protesting vet; movie ends with Marine drowning self by walking into the ocean to atone for his evil acts of national defense

“War of the Worlds” (2005) – This is one big mess of a movie; Aliens have already visited Earth in the distant past to leave their Tripods but then wait until we have atomic weapons and armies before they decide to come back and wipe us out; they arrive at nearly the speed of light in capsules that burrow underground and would be instantly vaporized by the impact; they need human blood to fertilize their Martian Kudzu (“Soilent Red is People!”); it never occurs to the Martians that they need to get flu shots before invading another planet; as the aliens sicken, they conveniently lower their shields so as to be suddenly defenseless against anti-tank rockets; the list is almost endless; the 1954 movie was far superior

"Getting Straight" -- yet another Vietnam vet comes home to attend college and is faced with a school faculty who are all repressed homosexuals and psychotics who determine to drive him out of college; he's saved by heroine who encourages him to Stiock it To the Man!; story ends with the vet kissing his male teacher on the mouth, creating a riot on campus, and then having sex with the heroine on the staircase as the riot and tear gas swill about them in a wonderful collage of color and self-congratulation -- ah!

Class 3: "The Happy Hooker" -- no plot, no production, no acting, but lots of frontal nudity and smashed beds

"Darling" -- critically acclaimed piece of crap about a beautiful, talented, rich woman with the IQ of an end table struggling to make her way in a world of rich men who throw themselves at her feet and take her to fabulous vacation spots

Special Category – What Would Have Been Good Movies But Ruined by One Bad Scene: “A Few Good Men” – Very entertaining story about good and evil in uniform ruined in the courtroom climax, when LTJG Caffee says to the colonel: “I’m a Navy officer, and you are under arrest, you son of a bitch!” Those last five gratuitous words by a screenwriter clueless about the military instantly makes Caffee guilty of disrespect towards a superior officer (a court martial offense) and lower him to Jessup’s level


TOPICS: Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: hollyweird; hollywoodsucks
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 181-200201-220221-240 ... 701-710 next last
To: bunches
I have to think the dilaogue was a deliberate attempt to mock Edwardian melodramas and silent movies.
201 posted on 09/28/2005 10:06:40 AM PDT by Borges
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 198 | View Replies]

To: pabianice

I never saw the original - so I guess I got nothing to compare it to.

But I thought the acting, plot and special effects and filmatography were all fine.


202 posted on 09/28/2005 10:06:49 AM PDT by MplsSteve
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 85 | View Replies]

To: pabianice

1. Blair Witch Project....
I giggled my butt off until I realized that the stupid group of kids freaking out in the WOODS (ooooh, scary--NOT) was supposed to be a serious movie.

OK, yeah. Sure.

2. I rarely go to or pay for movies, so I can't think of one that I was sorry I went to....HOWEVER, add "Van Helsing" to the "I laughed because it was so bad" catagory.

3. The Missing has got to be THE worst movie I have EVER EVER seen. I knew I hated it because near the end, when it looked like the heroine might die, I was happy...cuz it meant it was about over!

Lastly, I'll have to admit that all the "Room With a View", "Chariots of Fire" etc kind of movies are just my cup of tea. Can watch them over and over.

HOWEVER, I hate nothing more than a 'Godfather' or that type of genre' movie. I just don't get what about that crap is entertaining.


203 posted on 09/28/2005 10:06:56 AM PDT by najida (Once upon a a very long time ago, in a land far, far away.....It was still all Bush's fault.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: oremites
"Mystery Men" was a lot of fun. I may be banned from FR for saying this, but I like Janeane Garofalo in that movie.

Mystery Men qualifies as a "fun bad" movie, i.e., movies that are so bad, they're actually fun to watch. Clue is another movie that falls into this category.

204 posted on 09/28/2005 10:07:27 AM PDT by kevkrom ("Political looters" should be shot on sight)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 181 | View Replies]

To: I still care
OK I understand your view. The part about the blind girl being sent out into the woods for help was so incredibly stupid that it blanked out any enjoyable parts I might have otherwise seen.
205 posted on 09/28/2005 10:08:49 AM PDT by Ditter
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 183 | View Replies]

To: pabianice

I enjoyed WOTW (2005). Saw it twice with my son. It's a roller coaster ride.


206 posted on 09/28/2005 10:09:17 AM PDT by Spiff (I think that looters AND people who continue to misspell "Martial Law" should be shot.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: martin_fierro

I don't think you're looking above the neck on her.....so breathing counts as acting with her.

And DDL, well,
in a few movies, I was happy just to look too :)


207 posted on 09/28/2005 10:09:30 AM PDT by najida (Once upon a a very long time ago, in a land far, far away.....It was still all Bush's fault.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 182 | View Replies]

To: mel

LOL!

I thought that was the point!

And...

"Show me all the blueprints....show me all the blueprints...show me all the blueprints...show me all the blueprints...show me all the blueprints...show me all the blueprints...show me all the blueprints..."

I liked the movie, and I dislike Leonard DiCaprio, but I do think he is a good actor...I enjoyed "Catch me if you can".


208 posted on 09/28/2005 10:09:49 AM PDT by rlmorel ("Innocence seldom utters outraged shrieks. Guilt does." Whittaker Chambers)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 176 | View Replies]

To: pittsburgh gop guy

song was better in its original form (pasttime paradise, stevie wonder)


209 posted on 09/28/2005 10:09:53 AM PDT by absolootezer0 ("My God, why have you forsaken us.. no wait, its the liberals that have forsaken you... my bad")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 22 | View Replies]

To: CIB-173RDABN
Yeah, but it's been 20+ years, I catch bits and pieces of it on occasion, and it still sucks. Peter's Friends covered similar territory and, IMO, did it 100 times better, even if mostly in a British accent.
210 posted on 09/28/2005 10:09:55 AM PDT by Celtjew Libertarian (Shake Hands with the Serpent: Poetry by Charles Lipsig aka Celtjew http://books.lulu.com/lipsig)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 147 | View Replies]

To: tx_eggman
Only one winner possible here: Battlefield Earth

I want my money back.... If only I could get the two hours of my life wasted on this movie back.

211 posted on 09/28/2005 10:10:43 AM PDT by GreenOgre (mohammed is the false prophet of a false god.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 47 | View Replies]

To: BossLady
"The Lonely Lady" with Pia Zadora

Worth seeing once, just for seeing Pia Zadora naked... though that's my Y chromosome speaking, I think.

212 posted on 09/28/2005 10:11:06 AM PDT by Celtjew Libertarian (Shake Hands with the Serpent: Poetry by Charles Lipsig aka Celtjew http://books.lulu.com/lipsig)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 200 | View Replies]

To: I still care

"Shop smart, Shop S-mart".

"Hey She-bit@h, let's dance."


213 posted on 09/28/2005 10:11:25 AM PDT by Conservomax (There are no solutions, only trade-offs.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 155 | View Replies]

To: Woman on Caroline Street
"God gave me a gift. I shovel well. I shovel VERY well."

"Yeah. According to the police, my father came home from work one night and fell down an elevator shaft...onto some bullets."

"He who questions training only trains himself in asking questions."

214 posted on 09/28/2005 10:11:59 AM PDT by Sloth (We cannot defeat foreign enemies of the Constitution if we yield to the domestic ones.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 142 | View Replies]

To: GreenOgre
Only one winner possible here: Battlefield Earth I want my money back.... If only I could get the two hours of my life wasted on this movie back.

The Church of Scientology thanks you.

215 posted on 09/28/2005 10:12:16 AM PDT by dfwgator (Flower Mound, TX)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 211 | View Replies]

To: dfwgator

I know Tom Hanks is a liberal, but he generally keeps it out of his public life.

I know Spielberg is a FLAMING liberal, but...I generally like his stuff. Even if it is formulaic, he pushes the right buttons for me.

In any case, I am willing to forgive them both a great deal for making "Saving Private Ryan" and "Band of Brothers". I thought they treated the themes with great respect without interjecting political BS.


216 posted on 09/28/2005 10:12:21 AM PDT by rlmorel ("Innocence seldom utters outraged shrieks. Guilt does." Whittaker Chambers)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 175 | View Replies]

To: Celtjew Libertarian

I think that won the worst movie in 25 years by Razzie Awards....LOL! Can you believe that movie was actually a book first? :o


217 posted on 09/28/2005 10:12:35 AM PDT by BossLady
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 212 | View Replies]

To: americanMel

Yes, I genuinely liked Second Hand Lions. Actually I like the kid. He's a great actor and seems pretty down to earth for someone so young in that environment. But he still brings AI to mind whenever I see him. It's sad really.

And yes, Jude Law is lower than Yak puke in my book.


218 posted on 09/28/2005 10:12:56 AM PDT by Syco
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 97 | View Replies]

To: Celtjew Libertarian

I have to agree with that.

Pia Zadora had the body and the looks for a movie like that.

But no acting skills to speak of.


219 posted on 09/28/2005 10:13:12 AM PDT by MplsSteve
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 212 | View Replies]

To: rlmorel

That reminds me that Hanks quipped to a reporter that he regretted giving Clinton's campaign $10,000, but he retracted the statement a few days later, the Hollywood DNC Mafia must have made him an offer he couldn't refuse.


220 posted on 09/28/2005 10:13:51 AM PDT by dfwgator (Flower Mound, TX)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 216 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 181-200201-220221-240 ... 701-710 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson