Posted on 09/17/2005 6:59:48 AM PDT by teldon30
Dear Amy: I'd like to be in a relationship again, but I never even get asked out (unless you count frisky 85-year-olds and drunks at the corner bar). I'm a 32-year-old woman who's happy, sociable, and attractive. (I paid for college by modeling and continue to take care of myself.) I'm second-in-command at a big company, financially secure, and own a beautiful home. How can I meet men in general, and more specifically, men I'd actually want to date?
Deluxe Chopped Liver
Dear Deluxe: To scare away vampires, it takes garlic and crosses, which make ugly bulges in sleek, satin evening bags. Luckily, all you have to do to scare away men is pull out a business card that says ''senior vice president.''
''Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac,'' said Henry Kissinger. Sure it is unless you're a woman. Research by Stephanie L. Brown and Brian P. Lewis, published in Evolution and Human Behavior (Nov. '04), seems to confirm what many lonely women at the top already know: When guys go for the woman in the boardroom, it isn't the woman running the meeting but the secretary who wheeled in the coffee and croissants before it started.
Sure, plenty of men will scamper up the corporate ladder for a one-night stand. But, according to Brown and Lewis' study, men looking for dates or relationships tend to prefer their subordinates to their colleagues or bosses. The researchers hypothesize that men evolved to want women they can control as a means of guarding against ''parental uncertainty'' unwittingly raising kids fathered by the Neanderthal next door as their own. Brown and Lewis think this may also explain why men are suckers for ''behavioral expressions of vulnerability'' women who act like they might not be able to make it across the street
(Excerpt) Read more at mcall.com ...
I agree with you!
Men who are honest with themselves know this. Those that refute this are lazy, scared or both.
I agree, men need to listen to what quality women are saying instead of relying on perceptions
I am sorry if you couldn't "make the grade" with a real conservative American women
Wam!
see...
Yes I like 'em too. Make that love them. Most of my friends are/have always been men.
The eight acre lake sounds cool. I like fishing small lakes.
This tournament will be broadcast on the Outdoor Channel, and possibly others like ESPN.
Slow down now and let one of those absolutely dreamy men catch you ever now and then. Too much work is a bad thing.
This is a little cooler than I like it, but I have long-sleeved shirts to wear when I go outside. When my blood finally warms up, then I can just sit in the heat.
Phoenix is a little too hot and too busy. We're higher, wetter and cooler. You might enjoy it here.
Preach it, sistah!
Well,
bisexual hasn't happened in the past (all the rest has) but yeah, add
Not gay or bisexual, OCD, satan worshiper, misogynistic or animal-phobic either.
OK, guess I AM being picky now.
she assumes men SHE wants to date, are men who want to date HER.
Seems to me, she is exactly the kind of woman a quality man would AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE.
IOW just because he is perfect for her, does not mean SHE is perfect for him.
IOWW: HUBRIS!
Well I am past "the baby making stage" so I guess marriage is out for me then?
I guess just makin' married whoopee with your husband who you love and respect just doesn't cut it
O.K., I'll say it straight out. If I were single, I would be running in the opposite direction too.
Let's analyze the situation from my own personal point of view.
So, you have worked hard, have gotten a good education and have a high earning potential. No problems there.
From the photo in your home page, you're awfully cute. No problems there.
You drive a vintage BMW. No problems there.
You are an attorney and you advertise the fact on your car's vanity license plate. BIG PROBLEM!.
A large percentage of American marriages end in divorce. That's just the way it is nowadays. As it is, the legalities of marriage are already stacked against the man. No matter what a man does or does not do, if the marriage ever goes on the rocks, he will lose his house, he will lose at least 50% of everything he ever earned, he will probably lose his kids and he will be paying alimony for quite a while..........Oh, and don't forget the legal fees which the man will pay, both his and hers.
And all of that is with the average woman with the average divorce attorney.
"Now, if it ever comes to that", the man imagines, "what would happen to me in the divorce court system if my wife were an attorney representing herself pro bono for as long as she wants to go after me?"
Why would any sane man, other than a male attorney with the ego to think he can compete with you in divorce court, ever put himself in such a potential situation?
My advice to you would be to initially keep your attorney status on low profile.
Don't scare them off before they have a chance to get to know you.
Lose the "LawGirl" vanity plate. If there is one thing that scares off people more than lawyers, it is lawyers that go out of their way to tell everyone they are lawyers.
"But", you said on another post, "you can't penalize a woman for being an attorney."
Well, actually, you can. In social situations, you can penalize anybody for any reason you please.
Life ain't fair.
Right know, I think that men are been scared off by your advertised attorney status before they ever get to know you. You can say you are in "consumer affairs" and not go into details. Try keeping occupations totally in the background for a few dates so men can actually get to know you before they are hit with the Attorney Panic.
Exactly,
I'm way past babies too....
And if my family genetics stay true,
I've got about another 50 years left.
What am I supposed to do with all this free time on my hands! (and don't say clean house)
A suggestion. Take a month's vacation. Go to Viet Nam. Hang around a smaller town and just walk or sit in the coffee gardens. You will meet mostly young women because the guys are all out working their butts off to make their $1.45 a day. Talk to the ladies who will talk to you, even if it is with the Eng-Vt and Vt-Eng dictionaries you carry in your pocket. Make it explicit that you are not "looking for a woman." Pick out one of the more intelligent ones- there will be few who are dumb- and make a marriage deal. It is complicated and some expense to get her home but you will have a Wife who will not head for the divorce court as soon as she has citizenship and your wealth. She is bright and can probably run a business but she will not presume to run you. You will be the center of her life. And if you need a decoration, well, she is Vietnamese-what more could you ask? Viet Nam has just the right overlay of modern expectations and education on a traditional society. Don't wait too long. This conjunction is fragile and will not last too many more years.
My advice for Chopped Liver is to find someone she does not work with. As a guy, I find that if I ask out a woman and she is not interested, she will most likely start to turn cold and avoid me from that point on. Happens a lot anyway. So any guy from work asking her out will feel that he is risking his career. Chopped Liver is welcome to send me freepmail if she needs any more advice.
Would never say that! LOL
I am with you, sisterfriend!
Speak for yourself.
I can answer that question. First, I will need a five-year research grant, then about a dozen fellow researchers, a posh set of offices...
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