DFU SONG: Driving Miss Daisy (driving Miss Arianna - in a gas guzzling planet-killing Suburban)

DFU SONGS | 9-2005 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland

[bitt]

'beard'......heh-heh...

[doug from upland]

Hello, Mr. KABC. I am counting on you to ask Arianna about this. Maybe you should just slyly ask if she drove her Prius to the event to see what she says. I'd love her to lie.

(For those outside the Los Angeles area, Mr. KABC has the 9-midnight show on KABC. Although he is on the left, he is actually a pretty good guy.)

[doug from upland]

2003 Cadillac Escalade ESV

The guilty pleasures of Arianna Huffington’s worst nightmare.

by Paul Wiley Cockerham

(2003-02-17)

Originally, this road test's subhead would have read "What would Satan Drive?" but our friends at Automobile beat me to it, darn 'em. 

The 2003 Cadillac Escalade ESV is the largest full-size luxury SUV available-and the largest Cadillac ever produced. At a tick over 18 feet, three inches, it's 22 inches longer than Escalade, with more than 20 extra inches of interior length; it provides seating for eight and segment-leading cargo-carrying capability. It weighs 161 pounds shy of three tons, has the wonderful 6.0-liter Vortec V-8 pumping out 345 hp and 380 lb-ft of torque and gets appropriately abysmal fuel mileage. It was easy to imagine the Prince of Darkness behind the wheel of our Sable Black tester, smoking on a big cigar.

If you simply needed all this capability, you'd be less conspicuous driving the Chevy Suburban upon which the ESV is based. But Cadillac's rendition only costs another ten percent or so over a kitted-out Suburban, so I say go for the luxury (unless you need the Suburban's off-road ability and superior tow rating) and thumb your nose at the politically correct. You'll feel like royalty piloting the ESV, secure in your knowledge that Arianna Huffington, the intellectually skittish harpy pundit propelling the anti-SUV movement, apparently supports terrorism through the heating and cooling needs of her 9,000-square-foot home-if you buy into her stillborn understanding of the oil market.

Insatiable thirst?         

Seriously, though, the fuel appetite of this beast is insatiable. As I dropped my first $47 of premium into the 31-gallon fuel tank, I realized that there is absolutely no way that TCC's standard road test renumeration was going to cover the nut this week-praise Allah my rolling expenses are deductible. You can switch the LED-based driver information center to an instant fuel economy setting, which is quite edifying. As long as you're rolling downhill, you're a true-blue American, getting nearly 55 mpg. Fight gravity, particularly while utilizing the ESV's considerable passing capability, and you're all but stuffing C4 into the sneakers of crazed true believers as you watch the display plummet to 4 mpg. The Caddy averaged 14.7 mpg during its stay, well within its proclaimed range.

In terms of luxury, power and ride, the ESV is a Cadillac through and through. This would be a fine executive limo; the Road Sensing Suspension provides a quiet, floating ride yet with amazing roll control, and the ride height is so tall you can gaze onto the roofs of minivans as you motor along. The front independent suspension uses torsion bars and a 32-mm stabilizer bar, in back is a five-link, coil-spring design with a 30-mm stabilizer bar.

This is an amazingly maneuverable truck for its bulk. StabiliTrak and full-time 4WD keep the ESV pointed straight no matter what you throw at it. Our only anxious moment came when a wet left bend was taken too quickly, but when we lost lateral grip the slide was completely uniform and easily corrected. The Vortec is torque personified and the heavy-duty Hydra-Matic four-speed always picked the correct gear, effortlessly maintaining momentum on any road you care to drive.

The single trim level available for the ESV covers all the creature comforts. Climate controls cover three zones, there's the aforementioned driver information center and second-row captain's chairs, OnStar, power-adjustable pedals, a premium Bose stereo and GM's StabiliTrak electronic stability and traction control system. Our tester's options included a rear-seat entertainment system with a pair of infrared headphones, a remote and a Panasonic DVD player mounted from the roof (watch your head!), 17-inch chrome wheels, XM satellite radio and a tow package. You can swap out the second-row captain's chairs for a bench seat for no charge. If you forego the DVD player, you can order a sunroof. Leather and wood trim are everywhere, although the dash template is all-too recognizable as a generic GM truck piece, and the quality of interior plastics still lags behind the competition.

The adjustable pedals and multi-adjustable electronic front seats make finding a comfortable driving posture a breeze. With its fine stereo and ride isolation, the ESV is less a conveyance and more a luxurious listening room. Personally, I'm a little large for sitting in either the second or third rows of the ESV, but even the third row provides enough comfort for short trips, as long as you don't actually try to put three adults back there.

I like to think that I'm a reasonable, responsible person and a progressive thinker. Our own driveway holds a '95 Honda DX hatchback and a '98 Ford Ranger 4x4 pickup. Still, I kept having this fantasy during my week with the ESV, imagining its big Cadillac grill filling the rear-view mirror of Huffington, poking along in a Volvo wagon 20 mph under the limit, and watching her eyes fill with terror and loathing as we roar by.

The devil made me do it.

2003 Cadillac Escalade ESV
Base price: $55,370; as tested $58,765
Engine: 6.0-liter OHV V-8, 345 hp
Drivetrain: Four-speed electronically controlled heavy-duty automatic with overdrive, full-time four-wheel drive, single-speed transfer case
Length x width x height (in.): 219.3 x 78.9 x 75.7
Wheelbase: 130.0 in.
Curb weight: 5,839 lb.
EPA City/Hwy: 12/16 mpg
Safety equipment: Dual-level front airbags, side impact airbags, front passenger sensing system, ultrasonic rear parking assist, four-channel StabiliTrak stability enhancement system with ABS-based all-speed traction control, high-intensity headlamps
Major standard equipment: 12-volt auxiliary power outlet, variable intermittent speed windshield wipers, leather seating with first- and second-row heating controls, flip-and-fold third-row seat, Bulgari analog clock, Bose premium audio system with six-CD changer, tri-zone climate control, steering-wheel radio controls, power adjustable pedals, rear-seat audio, OnStar communications system, heated power folding mirrors, automatic level control
Warranty: Four years/50,000 miles

 

 

 

[doug from upland]

Arianna and the SUV Paranoia
Timing is everything -- particularly to opportunists.
by Mike Davis (2003-01-13)





Related Articles:
"High and Mighty": On or Off-Track? by Joseph Szczesny (12/30/2002)

Are SUVs unpatriotic? Or have anti-ute critics crossed the line? Speak out in the TCC Forums!



Is there a pattern here? An ironic leftist twist on Hillary's famous "vast RIGHT-wing conspiracy?"


During the North American International Auto Show preview last week, stories broke in the dailies about a series of "public interest" TV commercials attacking SUVs for being both unpatriotic and actually aiding Iraq and Al-Qaeda. A new activist group calling itself The Detroit Project headed by political columnist and TV personality Arianna Huffington is peddling the ads, which some stations refuse to air.

Right up front, I'll repeat that I think SUVs are faddish and mostly bought by people who don't need them for utility. Old-fashioned station wagons would fill the needs of most of them just fine.

Drumbeat against SUVs

However, it seems to me the attacks on SUVs increasingly fit a pattern. Let's review the drumbeat, and you tell me if I'm hearing strange voices.

Item One: Not too long after Keith Bradsher, former Detroit bureau chief for the New York Times, moved to Michigan in 1996 from the Times' Washington bureau, he began writing stories attacking SUVs. He claims the impetus came from an editor in New York. The curious thing is, the anecdotes cited in his stories seemingly were all generated in the Potomac area. His diatribes seemed to me more like plaintiff lawyers' briefs than reportorial journalism.

Having been exposed to what old timers in Detroit auto writing circles called "parachute journalists," I wondered if Bradsher hadn't formed his opinions about SUVs inside the Beltway first and then sought the Detroit bureau slot to reinforce his crusade from the Times' bully pulpit.

Bradsher's main thesis was that SUVs were unsafe because the popular SUVs of the time -- primarily from the old Big Three of Detroit -- were based on trucks and thus had truck frames under them. Truck frames, he wrote, were dangerous because they were stiff and therefore had a ramming effect on other vehicles, especially smaller passenger cars, when they met in a collision. He also argued that SUVs were higher than cars -- a function of their four-wheel-drives and off-road higher clearance -- and thus "overrode" the frames and bumpers of passenger cars, increasing the likelihood of harm to the car passengers. Plus there was the old rollover propensity charge. Sure read like a one-sided adversarial brief to me.

Item Two: Fast forward to late August of 2002, when the Washington advocacy group Union of Concerned Scientists claimed trucks (translation: SUVs) could be made 30 percent more fuel-efficient overnight at no appreciable cost. As I wrote in a Sept. 22 TCC critique (Gas Guzzlers: Beltway Boogeyman?, 9/23/2002), the claim was based on creation of "paper cars," best-balling theoretical gains, and related to ongoing Congressional hearings concerned with proposed SUV fuel economy regs. I restrained myself from commenting the group should have labeled itself Union of Concerned POLITICAL Scientists, especially since few of its staffers appear to have scientific credentials.

Item Three: Heralded by a well-oiled media campaign by a publisher specializing in "public issues," Bradsher's book High and Mighty - SUVs: The World's Most Dangerous Vehicles and How They Got That Way, hit the bookstores in September. Somehow I wasn't surprised that the book had appeared on the heels of Bradsher's earlier NYT stories. It wasn't the first time a journalist from the East had chuted into Detroit, wrote nasty stories, poured the clippings into a book, and then departed the scene.

Item Four: About the same time, as I noted in TCC in September, leftist cartoonist Gary Trudeau was castigating SUVs in his political comic strip.

Item Five: In her October 22 syndicated column, Arianna Huffington first put forth her theme that buying an SUV was tantamount to, in her words, "Building a nuclear bomb for Saddam Hussein" and "Buying weapons that will kill American soldiers, Marines and sailors." She then described SUV-attack TV commercials being put together by some of here liberal chic Hollywood pals. Oddly, Huffington's syndicate describes her as a "proactive CONSERVATIVE spokeswoman." Who was it that said politics makes strange bedfellows? She sure ain't conservative in my book.

Item Six: On November 20, a group of clergy folks identifying themselves as the National Religious Partnership for the Environment arrived in Detroit to preach "What Would Jesus Drive?" in meetings with auto execs. The campaign was directed at, surprise, SUVs, and wheeled in via Toyota Prius hybrids driven by nuns. It generated a large number of mostly skeptical and often humorous editorial columns and comments. The most thoughtful answer to WWJD was an extended-wheelbase passenger van, decidedly uneconomical, to carry the 12 apostles.

Item Seven: On November 26, amidst many other lavish reviews by the usual suspects, Bradsher's book was praised in his own Times. The reviewer, a journalism professor in New York City rather than an automotive expert, described the book as "marvelously told" and intoned that "the SUV is a vehicle of aggression, a machine to menace other people with."

Item Eight: In December, recognizing that potential jurors now were properly primed with anti-SUV vitriol, a Richmond, Va., plaintiff's attorney sued Ford Motor Company for the alleged unsafe design of an Explorer which T-boned a Jaguar. Presumably taking his brief right from Bradsher's book -- or was it the other way around? -- the suit, according to news reports, claimed the Explorer's frame design was the cause of injury to his client.

Item Nine: Also in December, an op-ed piece credited to Robert "Sundance Kid" Redford appeared, at least in California newspapers, the essence of which is summarized by its headline, "The Highest Patriotism Lies in Weaning U.S. From Fossil Fuels." As the alternative, Redford suggested solar power, in which he was said to be "involved" (as an investor?). To be fair, he didn't mention SUVs, but the patriotism issue was smack on the table.

Item Ten: On January 8 in Los Angeles, Huffington's Detroit Project announced its anti-SUV TV campaign, to air around the country Sunday night during the Detroit auto show's opening weekend. And in her syndicated column distributed January 9 from Detroit, Huffington fired off another round, headlined "Road Outrage: How Corporate Greed and Political Corruption Paved the Way for the SUV Explosion." That's funny, all along I thought it was just the suburban soccer moms one-upping one another.

In the column she states, "Cars powered by a combination of gas and electricity have been around since 1905." Again, that's funny, I've been writing about cars since 1954, or about half the intervening years, and the first gas-electric hybrids I ever heard of as "being around" were the Prius and the Honda Insight of very recent vintage. True, my Standard Catalogue of American Cars shows that there WAS a car called the Gas-au-lec produced in Peabody, Massachusetts, in 1905-06. Only four were built. To paraphrase another personality, "It depends on the meaning of 'been around.'" Maybe Huff should fire her researchers and editorial assistants.

The goods on Arianna

Huffington, according to the biog on her Web site, is a native of Greece who holds a masters in economics from Cambridge (U.K., not Harvard), has authored books ranging from The Female Woman in 1974 to How to Overthrow the Government in 2000, and is a frequent talk-show personality in addition to her newspaper column. She has homes, it said, in Los Angeles and Washington, D.C. Hmmm.

The Detroit Free Press reported that such Hollywood types as producers Norman Lear and Steve Bing and comedian and director Larry David are bankrolling Huffington's anti-SUV campaign. Prime-time TV commercials are mucho expensive.

So what's wrong with telling people they should drive a Prius instead of a Hummer? For one thing, only airhead Hollywood types would equate the two. Any car nut knows they are hardly interchangeable, even if capable of hauling only four adult passengers each.

The real catch in the hybrids on the market so far is that they really don't get much better fuel economy than their gas-only siblings such as the Toyota Echo. Yes, the Prius and Honda Hybrid are fascinating cars to drive with their impressive technology but I suspect, if they were priced according to cost like others in the marketplace, their present attraction -- also a fad -- might fade fast.

For another thing, if Hollywood and Washington REALLY are concerned with fossil fuel dependence, why aren't they campaigning for improved traffic light timing, removal of unnecessary lights and stop signs and other easily corrected impairments to real world efficiency of operation OUTSIDE the vehicle.

Untold millions of gallons of fuel are wasted daily by cars, trucks and SUVs idling away or having to stop and then re-accelerate -- with accompanying extra emissions -- from poorly engineered traffic signals, signs and regulations. With such a campaign, our "we know better than you what is best for you" elitists would really have motorists behind them.

[bray]

What's that guzzler get 6 Blood for Oils Per Mile???

Pray for W and Our Freedom Fighters

[bray]

Probably whisked her to the Airport so she could get in a jet and burn 10 tons of Blood for Oil!! Just another Liberocrite!

Pray for W and Our Freedom Fighters

[doug from upland]

A GROUNDSWELL AGAINST SUVS
Author(s): Bella English, Globe Staff Date: February 10, 2003 Page: B7 Section: Living
Sport utility vehicles, the status symbol of the past decade, have recently become what the new mink coat was for the eco-cause set: a needless trophy that hurts the environment. Although some have grumbled for years that the huge vehicles guzzle gas and contribute to global warming and air pollution, the looming war in Iraq has given environmentalists a front-page news peg on which to hang their cause. And SUV drivers are feeling the wrath.

Samuel Price, who drives a Jeep Cherokee, has been "ticketed" a couple of times. His offense? Driving an SUV. A classmate at Boston College Law School, Ward Olivete, drives a Toyota 4-Runner and has been asked by a perfect stranger how he can drive "that thing." In Newton, vandals recently spray-painted several SUVs with sentiments, including: "No Blood For Oil." On Beacon Hill, Governor Mitt Romney wants to eliminate the fleet of Ford Explorers in favor of smaller cars that get better mileage.

But the fact remains: for the past 10 years, SUV sales have increased, with 3.5 million sold last year. Detroit insists that it isn't backing away from the profitable vehicles; to the contrary.

"SUVs are as popular as ever. This year, we expect sales to stay very strong," says Michael Morrissey, a spokesman for General Motors. GM, which produces the Chevy Suburban - one of the largest SUVs - was the first to sell more than a million, in 2001. Last year, it sold 1.2 million.

And the Hummer H2 - a four-ton tank designed by a US military contractor and popularized by the Army during Operation Desert Storm - is the hottest SUV on the market, with long waiting lists for orders. "They're huge," says Ernie Boch Jr., whose family owns four auto dealerships in Norwood. "It's status. If you drive one of them, you actually get an adrenaline rush. You really feel like you can climb walls."

Most SUV drivers will tell you that the vehicle is their prized possession, and that the environmentalists can go hug a tree - though they're not quite that polite.

Joanna Christopoulos of Newtonville adores her Ford Explorer. "It's higher up, it has more room, it's heavier, it's safer to drive," she says, dismissing the argument that driving an SUV indirectly supports terrorism and contributes to the war on Iraq. "We'll have a problem with Iraq whatever we drive," she says. "As for the oil, every vehicle uses oil. If anything, they should be talking to people who drive diesels."

The only way she'll give up her Explorer is to supersize it: "I'd go to an Expedition, which is larger."

James Kliesch of the American Council for an Energy Efficient Economy notes that people love to hate SUVs because of the image associated with the owners of a car designed to be driven in rugged conditions: a yuppie driving alone, or a suburban mom going to the grocery store.

"In fact, pickup trucks are the most popular vehicle on the road, but people don't complain about them," Kliesch says. "I think it's an easier argument to make that SUVs are not being used for off-road purposes, whereas some pickups are."

The typical SUV, he adds, is occupied by only 1.3 passengers.

Recently the syndicated columnist Arianna Huffington brought her fledgling anti-SUV campaign to Harvard. She said Washington had given the vehicles a pass on the fuel efficiency and air pollution standards that all other passenger cars must meet. Her campaign, called "The Detroit Project," was born after she wrote a column linking corporate greed and political corruption to the market explosion that has put 16 million such vehicles on the American roads.

Huffington, who used to drive a Lincoln Navigator (13 miles to the gallon), saw the light - at the light.

Huffington was stopped at a light when she looked over at an SUV, festooned with flags.

"It was after 9/11. I had a moment of truth," she says, adding that she realized it would be more patriotic for both of them to give up their SUVs. Huffington now drives a hybrid Toyota Prius: 52 miles to the gallon. She considers her campaign particularly timely, given the country's dependence on Middle East oil while campaigning against Arab terrorism.

"When our stated goal is to decrease reliance on overseas oil, and the Bush administration says we can't go along with countries harboring terrorists . . . What else is Saudi Arabia but a country harboring terrorists?" she tells the overflow crowd.

The anti-SUV activists have become more aggressive, doing that "ticketing" of vehicles and slapping bumper stickers on them with the message: "I'm Changing the Climate! Ask Me How!" In Newton, 16 SUVs were vandalized with spray paint around Christmas. "References were made to climate and oil, war in Iraq and those kinds of things," says Newton police chief, Jose Cordero, whose personal car is an SUV (he won't say which kind).

But Boch, who drives a Toyota Highlander and sells hundreds of others, says the Hummer is the best evidence that the public isn't listening to the anti-SUV campaign. "That's the granddaddy of all SUVs, and it's selling like crazy. You can't keep them in stock, and people are paying sticker price and over for it," he says. An 8,600-pound Hummer costs about $55,000, gets around 10 miles per gallon and costs nearly $50 to fill up.

To Boch, it's simply a matter of personal choice: "If it's available in the US and it's for sale, you should be able to drive it. It's the American way." But what about concerns over mileage? "Bottled water costs more." Pollution from exhaust emissions? "Even the big giant SUVs every year are getting better on that." Aiding and abetting terrorism? "That's insane." ("When you see the weapons inspectors in Iraq, they're all driving around in Land Cruisers.")

The market, however, is changing. GM's Morrissey says that though his company isn't abandoning SUVs, it is aggressively pursuing hybrid vehicles, which combine fuel-efficient gasoline engines and electric-battery-powered motors, thus improving mileage and reducing emissions.

Mothers, in particular, say they love their SUVs for what they perceive as the safety value: They're heavy, they're high, they're huge. Lauren Dugan of North Reading had just dropped her children off in her Toyota Highlander last month when the vehicle skidded on ice and slid off the road, then rolled over.

"The police were amazed," she said. "They said if I had been in a car, the roof would have just caved in." That, plus a greater field of vision, she says, makes her feel safe.

According to The Detroit Project, the opposite is actually true: SUVs are four times as likely as passenger cars to roll over in an accident, and three times as likely to kill an occupant in a rollover. And those who drive smaller cars say they feel they're fodder for the giants who share the road.

Kristin Parker, who lives in Brookline, is one. "I never experienced road rage until I was driving my little Toyota. I didn't know why I was feeling so stressed out, and then I realized I was surrounded by these huge vehicles that were bearing down on me. SUVs are really shrinking the road for the rest of us."

Parker has taken matters into her own hands, literally, by joining the national "ticketing" campaign. She sticks "parking tickets," flyers that resemble official citations, on the windshields of SUVs. Upon closer inspection, the tickets detail the advocates' perception of the evils of driving an SUV rather than a smaller car.

"At Bread and Circus, I am always shocked when I see the behemoths in the parking lot. The people who are buying organic foods are driving these disgusting vehicles," she says.

Nationally, the campaign Changing the Climate directs its energies toward "the exciting new sport of Big Game SUV Hunting." Activists affix embarrassing bumper stickers to SUVs, which they call "bloated, gas-guzzling behemoths." (Among tips for ticketers: The Hummer is the "ultimate prize." And tag only late-model vehicles, "not some beat-up old Suburban some poor soul has inherited.")

The Sierra Club has jumped aboard, too, saying that those who switch from a car to an SUV for a year waste more energy than "leaving a refrigerator door open for six years, a bathroom light burning for 30 years, or a color TV turned on for 28 years." Even some religious groups are preaching against SUVs with a campaign called, "What Would Jesus Drive?"

Gordon Wilcox, a Boston restaurateur, can see both sides now. He drives a Cadillac Escalade, one of the biggest SUVs, but he plans to trade it in for a sedan. "It's brutal on gas," he says, "and they give you this sense that you're safer in this tough tank. You're not. It's like a piece of plastic."

The only solace Kristin Parker gets, she says, is watching SUV drivers fill up their tanks. "They're paying a fortune," she says.

[doug from upland]

Thanks.

[Kozak]

Hey the SUV was going that way anyway, just like the private jet was...

[doug from upland]

[doug from upland]

PHOTO POSTED ON ARIANNA'S SITE

[RonDog]

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