Buttered bread always falls butter side down, my neighbors cat always lands on it feet when I toss it back over the fence. If I duct taped some buttered bread butter side up on the back of the neighbors cat would it float along the prevailing winds or just hover on it's next launch over the fence ?
LOL
Sounds like Steven Wright. Here is some more:
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included.
If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.
I was in the first submarine. Instead of a periscope, they had a kaleidoscope. "We're surrounded."
Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen