Give them some speed and exlax
Maybe the medical staff can buy them off and sedate them with oxycontin. Then when they're really "feeling no pain", tell them that a Coast Guard chopper is here to take them to South Padre Island for a month's vacation. Just put down your weapons and board the chopper please.
Or Epicac - makes you vomit. They give it to children who have swollowed poison.)
Someone kept steeling my cousins lunch at school and my uncle finally laced her peanut butter sandwich with epicac. Problem solved.
That is an interesting combination! : 0
Or a well-placed bullet.