Ralph, the story of a viet nam vet, as told by his wife. Updated

ProudVetWife | 08/30/05 | me

[mjaneangels@aolcom]

See original thread here:

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1200566/posts

August 20, 2005

In regards to: Ralph

W. Hill Department of Veterans Affairs Medical & Regional Office Center 5500 East Kellogg Avenue Wichita, Kansas 67218-1698

Dear W. Hill:

Subject: Application for Burial Benefits

This letter has taken a long time to write, along with the decision that comes with it. I have debated and prayed for several months as to whether I should appeal your decision on Ralph’s death pension benefits. The fact that you made the decision that Ralph’s death was not service-related is what I disagree with.

There are some things on Ralph’s behalf, along with many other veterans and their families, that I feel need to be said. The Lord blessed us with 27 years together, through joy and pain, but our children, grandchildren and I lost him at a very early age. In honor of him and his service to our country, I believe there needs to be more answers to the questions about PTSD, what it does and has done to our precious soldiers.

It really broke my heart to read the denial of entitlement to accrued benefits for service connected Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I was disappointed and confused by statements made in your report to substantiate your denial. Ralph was being treated in your facility and at the Veterans Center for PTSD and severe depression, as well as being heavily medicated for “night terrors” by you. I read his records from you and the Veterans Center, along with living through the hell on earth he was going through with him. I noted that you sited part of the reason as being the traumatic childhood and the burns he sustained. I can honestly tell you the dreams he was having had nothing to due with either. His dreams were about “little men in black hoods and clothes” which he also saw when he was awake. He started speaking in Vietnamese out of the blue, which also scared him to death. He really thought he was going crazy. You also talked about the “considerable passage of time” between the stressor of service and the onset of PTSD. Ralph suffered from PTSD for many years before he came to you. Is not the passage of time along with the denial of having it part of the condition itself? That, along with all the other symptoms your own Doctors informed him of that proved to him that he had PTSD, one of them being denying it for so many years. As you should know from his therapy there and help from the Veterans Center, he was one of the many that was spit on when he came home to the United State of America. He also was one that could not get a decent job because he had served in Vietnam and was hated for it. How could he or so many others do anything but deny the horrible pain they were in, thus the denial. I have been there several times since Ralph passed away as well as to the Veterans Center. I was told in both places how severely he was suffering from PTSD due not to his childhood or burns, but due to his service for our Country. I was told it was only going to get much worse and more painful and that though he (your representative who knew Ralph personally) could not imagine how painful this was for all of us, Ralph didn’t have to fight the war anymore. Though it has been more painful than words can express, those words have brought me some comfort. I do not understand how it can be both ways and do not believe that it can be. If you simply did not want to pay the money, just say that. Please do not lessen Ralph’s service, suffering or his death to fit your need. It is not fair to him or to all those who love him so much.

Your denial letter also states that his heart attack was also not service related. After I lost him so suddenly at such a young age, I began hearing of other Viet Nam Vets that passed away in the same way, sudden MI’s while being treated for PTSD. On my second visit to the National Cemetery Ralph is buried in, I noticed that a large percentage of them in that section were in the same age category (early 50’s) and served in Viet Nam. When I returned home, I looked up heart and Viet Nam on the internet and was shocked to see all the reports written about it and that this connection between the heart and PTSD was found in 1999. It was a very painful way to find out what I had suspected from the beginning was true. I went back to the VA to ask that they please let other families know that this was a possibility and take a closer look at our Veterans hearts, so others would not have to suffer the unbearable loss of a loved one in this way.

The most painful of all the writings in your determination letter are the statements that he was not exposed to more than “ordinary stressful environments” and that “Military personnel records do not document receipt of medals, badges or citations, which denote participation in combat”. Do your records not show that at the age of 18, he was dropped in the middle of a battle zone as he first arrived in Viet Nam, being shot at as they jumped out? Did it not show the months he worked in the “graveyard”, picking up body pieces to send home in bags? I know that in your records and those of the Veterans Center, he told of being shot at over and over while climbing a pole, along with other flashbacks? He told me stories of night watch duties in the tower, and of that tower being blown up right after he got down. Are all of these what you call “normal stressors” and not being in combat? Then along with these “normal stressors”, he comes home only to be turned on by his own Country, being spit on at the airport in his own hometown? This is what really breaks my heart about your letter of denial. Maybe I am wrong and I pray that I am, but it feels like you are belittling his service now. You know, for 27 years Ralph told me things like “men in his position were just fodder over there”, that they were told “the life expectancy for his position was 20 minutes” and that he didn’t even matter to the Army or to the Country that he served. For those same 27 years, I told him that those things couldn’t be true, that he and his service did matter to our Country and to the Army. I beg you now, do not make me the liar and the things he felt and said be the truth.

I know that I have said some harsh things in this letter but they needed to be said on Ralph’s behalf as well as for myself and our children, who have always been very proud of his service to our Country and will always be. I pray that you will find a kinder way to word your denial letters to other families. This was quite painful for both our children and me. I am so thankful that Ralph will never have to read it.

I will be hand delivering this letter along with VA Form 21-530, “Application for Burial Benefits” and the copy of Ralph’s paid funeral bill on Monday, August 22nd, to the Department of Veterans Affairs in Wichita, Kansas.

In closing, I would like to thank you for the non-service connected pension benefits you sent me earlier this year and I know Ralph would be very grateful also. Since his death, I have lost our home and vehicles and what you sent helped more than you could know.

Sincerely,

ProudVetWife

cc: President Bush Disabled American Veterans (St. Louis) Representative Tiahrt Senator Brownback Senator Roberts

[Kitty Mittens]

Praying over this Situation, to our Merciful Father in Heaven.

[mjaneangels@aolcom]

"Praying over this Situation, to our Merciful Father in Heaven."

Thank you. Prayers are always welcome.