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From here on, let women kill their own spiders (Dave Barry)
Maimi Herald ^ | Dave Barry

Posted on 08/21/2005 9:18:13 AM PDT by nuconvert

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1 posted on 08/21/2005 9:18:14 AM PDT by nuconvert
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To: nuconvert

Nothing more needs to be said. It's all true.


2 posted on 08/21/2005 9:21:38 AM PDT by DefiantZERO
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To: Ditter; Boxsford; Irish Rose; F14 Pilot; AdmSmith; Valin

pong


3 posted on 08/21/2005 9:23:30 AM PDT by nuconvert (No More Axis of Evil by Christmas ! TLR) [there's a lot of bad people in the pistachio business])
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To: DefiantZERO

Except I have to admit my wife kills the spiders nine times out of ten. Plainly gets a sadistic joy out of it.


4 posted on 08/21/2005 9:23:58 AM PDT by Williams
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To: nuconvert

LOL, I'm not frightened of spiders, now rodents, that is a whole other story.


5 posted on 08/21/2005 9:25:33 AM PDT by mware (Trollhunter of Note)
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To: nuconvert

My four year old daughter was on an hunt to kill a spider in her room last night... her father wouldn't let her. I wonder if he was protecting her, or the spider?


6 posted on 08/21/2005 9:31:37 AM PDT by Pan_Yans Wife ("Death is better, a milder fate than tyranny. "--Aeschylus)
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To: Pan_Yans Wife

Was it a male spider? ;~ )


7 posted on 08/21/2005 9:35:09 AM PDT by nuconvert (No More Axis of Evil by Christmas ! TLR) [there's a lot of bad people in the pistachio business])
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To: nuconvert

I cringe when I'm told, "It's in my purse." I hate digging through that thing, one of several, all Euro-designer, each of which cost at least 10x my 10 year-old little wallet...


8 posted on 08/21/2005 9:37:42 AM PDT by DTogo (U.S. out of the U.N. & U.N out of the U.S.)
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To: nuconvert

The fridge and the coffee table are my favorite places to hide things. Now, as for men thinking, nope I don't believe it. Usually, I mow the yard but for some reason Mr. M decided he'd give me a belated b-day gift (oh, be still my heart!) and mow it for me Monday. He broke the mower. Wednesday, he called for me to come get him and his broken motorcycle. I told him it was either the fuel pump or a fuse. Thursday, he called to ask for the 14th time where he should take the motorcycle. Later, Thursday, he called to ask what he should do with his broken down pickup and after much encouragement took it to my prefered shop. Friday, he asked me for money because the motorcycle shop doesn't take cards (it was the fuel pump). He knew that in advance but as always failed to get cash from the bank - hey, the bank of Mrs. M is open. BTW, I do kill all the spiders and other creatures in my bare feet because I don't have enough shoes to get one dirty.

Men, can't live with them. Can't live with them.


9 posted on 08/21/2005 9:38:28 AM PDT by mtbopfuyn (Legality does not dictate morality... Lavin)
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To: DTogo

Make that 20x.


10 posted on 08/21/2005 9:38:36 AM PDT by DTogo (U.S. out of the U.N. & U.N out of the U.S.)
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To: nuconvert

My husband will always kill the spiders.

ALWAYS!!!!!


11 posted on 08/21/2005 9:38:51 AM PDT by diamond6 (Everyone who is for abortion has already been born. Ronald Reagan)
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To: nuconvert
``Do we have anything to eat?''

Just give me a bag of Chili Cheese Fritos, and I'll be happy. :^)

12 posted on 08/21/2005 9:42:42 AM PDT by Cowboy Bob (Liberalism cannot survive in a free and open society.)
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To: nuconvert
LOL and for sure. . .

Of course, my husband does not quite fit the MO here. . .he stands in front of the drawer and asks. . .'where is the spatula'. . .

13 posted on 08/21/2005 9:47:17 AM PDT by cricket (color me. . .Republican)
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To: nuconvert

ROFL how I love dave barry.


14 posted on 08/21/2005 9:47:59 AM PDT by lawgirl (I've got a fever and the only prescription is more cownbell!)
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To: nuconvert

really funny.


15 posted on 08/21/2005 9:56:11 AM PDT by vbmoneyspender
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To: Williams
On one of my husbands first visits to my home with dating, my daughter came running in and yelled there was a snake in the hen house. We all jumped up and ran to rescue the chickens that were fighting with the egg thief. My future man grabbed a hoe from the shed on the way, and I reached for my machete.

There was a 5 foot long corn snake trying to escape through a hole along the wall. My date ran outside to get him with the hoe. I grabbed the tail (the safe end) to hold it still. He whacked at it for a while , but could not get a straight shot. I

waited, but decided to finish this. I yanked the black demon back through the hole and severed its head with a few strokes of my machete.

My beloved came around the corner to look at the carnage.. His face was blank. "I have never seen a woman do that before."

I tried to look dainty and demure, but it was too late. I just wish I had time to go and but proper snake killing shoes.

16 posted on 08/21/2005 9:56:32 AM PDT by myprecious
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To: lawgirl

I need a beer column now to make the day complete.


17 posted on 08/21/2005 9:58:40 AM PDT by Thebaddog (How's yer dogs?)
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To: nuconvert
"minding his own business watching basketball and demand to know if a certain pair of pants makes her butt look too big,"

You betcha!... : ) <<< me

18 posted on 08/21/2005 10:03:50 AM PDT by stopsign ( ("What great fortune for government, that people don't think". ...Der Fuhrer... [hummmm...]))
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To: lawgirl

"I am picturing a utopian future wherein, when a man's briefs get dirty, they will simply dissolve from his body, thereby freeing him from the chore of dealing with his soiled underwear via the labor-intensive, time-consuming method he now uses, namely, dropping them on the floor."

ROTF!!! How funny!


19 posted on 08/21/2005 10:04:30 AM PDT by mtngrl@vrwc ( We cannot change the direction of the wind... but we can adjust our sails.)
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To: DTogo

>>>I cringe when I'm told, "It's in my purse." I hate digging through that thing, one of several, all Euro-designer, each of which cost at least 10x my 10 year-old little wallet...<<<

Hmmm, that would get you sleeping on the couch in our house. :) When I tell my husband "it's in my purse" he gets my purse and brings it to me, then stands waiting patiently, or not, while I dig around in it. I don't rifle through his wallet and he doesn't go through my purse, even if I tell him its okay.

And I don't kill spiders. I think it's the crunching sound they make that puts me off. I just throw shoes at them, spray them with hairspray or shaving cream and scream for my husband.


20 posted on 08/21/2005 10:10:33 AM PDT by DancingMyRainbow
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