Suicide bombing "pig fat" threat

bbc.co.uk ^ | Feb. 2004

[TheSpottedOwl]

Works for me. Are these fools that superstitious, that they would let bags of lard detour them? Hey Mohammed, what's worse, a living Jew or a defiled suicide bomber?

[TomGuy]

And all the congregation prayed, "Lard, lard..."








[Sorry, I couldn't resist.]

[CommandoFrank]

Why not spread the word that due to an increased number of Islamic suicide bombers, the virgins have been used up. They are all GONE!

[varyouga]

Someone should make bullets tipped with pigfat cartridges so our troops can use them on the Islamonazis. Call 'em "No 72 4 U".

When an enemy is not afraid to die because of religion you must use it against him. It's like the silver bullet for vampires.

[Schwaeky]

If that slope sends the muslim world straight to hell, I can live with it...

[Zacs Mom]

I'd make sure all my bullets were dipped in pigs blood,too....and that everyone KNEW there were!!

How many of those 72 virgins are gonna wanna be with some corpse full of swine soak bullets? ;^)

[Schwaeky]

Are all pork products forbbidden to Jews? I sold some pork/beef skinless franks and boneless porkchops to a jewish family the other day.

[Fiddlstix]

Thank you J

[paulat]

Are all pork products forbbidden to Jews? I sold some pork/beef skinless franks and boneless porkchops to a jewish family the other day.

How are you doing this working in print advertising (as it says on your page)?

[Alouette]

Only Orthodox and some Conservative Jews keep strictly kosher. Reform generally do not.

[Fudd Fan]

Great idea. We need pig-fat and pig-products all over the place.

[doug from upland]

I think it is okay for Jews to wear pork. :)

[Anticommie]

The secret of defeating fanatics is to find out what scares the h@ll out of them and use it against them. In this case any Pig fat on a Muslim is a guaranteed one way ticket to h@ll and that scares them.

I heard a story; time around WW1, place middle east, massive raghead revolt end terror was quickly brought to peace by Brits by catching some terrorists, shooting them dead through pigskin, and making shure one of'em escaped to tell others what happend. Problem solved.
If we don't have enough pigs to defeat terrorist worldwide we must raise a surplus NOW!

[txhurl]

Brilliant.

That would kink up their recruitment big-time.

[timestax]

The secret of defeating fanatics is to find out what scares the h@ll out of them and use it against them. In this case any Pig fat on a Muslim is a guaranteed one way ticket to h@ll and that scares them.

Sounds like a goot idea!

[Dallas59]

This will not "fly". Have any of you thought of the "freedom fighters" feelings? It would be disrespectful.

< / Sar >

[fahraint]

Or, we could just buy Michael Moore a year long pass on the metro, with annual renewals

[Birdsbane]

Better yet, why not take whole dead pigs, dehydrate them, then grind them into a very fine powder. Less weight and can be dispersed over large areas by crop dusters, or fired from howitzers. It would give a new meaning to the term "Dirty Bomb".

[Famishus]

This was written by Paul Sperry shortly after 9/11

If pigs could fly…

WASHINGTON – Pigs, hogs, swine, porkers, barrows, trotters. When Americans aren't eating them – hot dogs, bologna, spareribs, pig's knuckles, ham, bacon, pork chops – they're adoring them on TV or the big screen. Hollywood has transformed the stinky, snorty critters into lovable pink-bellied icons known affectionately to all of us as "Porky Pig," "Arnold" or "Babe."

In short, Americans (with the exception of orthodox Jews) love pigs.

But to Islamic fundamentalists, they are just stinky, snorty critters – the quintessence of uncleanliness.

Indeed, Muslims are forbidden to eat pork by the Koran, their holy book. To knowingly eat pork is to commit an act of sin which could jeopardize their ascension to Paradise.

It's not just meat they have to be careful about eating. They also have to check that cheeses and yogurts – even cake frosting – don't contain "unclean" byproducts such as pork lard.

When traveling on American jetliners, orthodox Muslims typically order vegetarian meals to avoid the chance encounter with one of Arnold Ziffel's relatives. On Arabic airliners, they ask for a "blessed" meat called halal. Such non-pork meat has been drained of blood during the slaughtering and butchering process. The Koran forbids the consumption of animal blood (which makes pig's blood virtually radioactive, an observation our military might find useful, as I'll explain further on).

So averse to pigs are Islamic fundamentalists, that even coming in contact with them – or any part of them, such as their hide – means defiling themselves. It's not a sin to touch, say, a pigskin football, but if they do, they are advised to wash their hands immediately.

Pig-fat products are on the list of items Afghanistan's ruling Taliban militia has declared to be against the sharia, the ruling clerics' interpretation of Islamic law.

So, you see, pigs are to Islamic terrorists – such as Osama bin Laden and his henchmen – what kryptonite is to Superman, or what garlic is to Dracula.

Take Mohamed Atta, for example.

The suspected ringleader of the Sept. 11 hijackers was so careful not to eat pork fat that he scraped the frosting from cakes. Here was a man more afraid of eating a hint of pork in a dessert than flying a jet full speed into a skyscraper.

See where I'm going with this?

Few in Washington want to admit it, but these Islamic fanatics have baited us into a holy war. And like it or not, we'll have to use their religion against them to win.

Psychological warfare

U.S. forces should start by dropping leaflets over Kabul, the capital of Afghanistan, warning residents, in their native Persian tongue, that we've enlisted Afghani moles to contaminate their water supplies with pig's blood.

The propaganda would also warn that American soldiers have greased their bullets with pork fat. We could tell them, while we're at it, that we've ordered special pigskin-lined fatigues for this mission.

At night, we could bombard bin Laden's camps with recordings of hog-snorting. If he and his fellow terrorists won't come out of their caves, send pen-loads of trotters in to nuzzle them.

Can't find bin Laden? Force-feed Taliban clerics pork rinds until they give up his location. If that doesn't work, air-lift pigs into their homes.

In the meantime, airlines could reupholster plane seats with pigskin, and cover cockpit yokes with the "unclean" hide to repel future Islamic hijackers. For insurance, serve passengers bacon bits instead of peanuts.

If their religion is driving them to hate Americans, and rewarding them to kill our people, then it's hardly indecent to use their faith against them to protect us.

Hit them where it hurts. They hit us where it hurts – and they're already planning to do it again.

They're not afraid of death. However, they are afraid of pigs. Send in the porkers, lock them out of Paradise, and watch them surrender.

[ColdSteelTalon]

They should pass a law which says that any terrorist once caught will be force fed pig fat killed and wrapped and buried in a blanket made with... Pig skin.