I'd say, go dig up some fossils. Got to be scads of them in Saskatchewan. I bet you have mammoth fossils galore up there. Then you could get on the NCBI website and look up gene sequences. You can download free software and do maximum parsimony cladograms on them. By the time you've compared ten proteins and found in every case that whales are closer to people than they are to fish, you should be ready for a brew, having satisifed yourself that you're not the victim of a cruel practical joke by a million or so biologists. I know I was relieved. So much so, in fact, I had another beer.
Put some chocolate in your microwave and watch the speed of light in action. Employ noodly appendage accordingly.