Another Letter From Iraq

As I wind down my time here in Iraq, I have had time to ponder and reflect on what I have seen, done and been a part of here at Balad. War is an interesting thing, as when you leave for it, you have grand dreams of doing your part and being a part of something bigger than yourself. Being able to come home and tell war stories or be a hero to those who know you. When you leave, you have a very different outlook, not wanting to talk about what went on, and feeling unworthy of any praise from those who don’t know what it was like. I have never been much of a crier, and yet my emotions are so on edge, I find myself tearing up throughout the day for no particular reason that I can think of. To say there is a romance in or about war, really isn’t accurate at all. There are no winners or losers, countries may win or lose, but not the soldiers who fight the battles, there are just those who are trying to make it home in one piece and not beneath the earth they so fiercly tread upon. Jose Narosky said, “In war, there are no unwounded soldiers.” There couldn’t be a more accurate description of the things I have witnessed, whether through my eyes or the eyes of others. No one who leaves here will ever be the same or live the same lives as when the left to come here. Some will never be involved directly in battle and some will be in conflict every day of their deployment. Either way, what they have become a part of will change them forever. Baudouin the First said, “It takes twenty years or more of peace to make a man; it takes only twenty seconds of war to destroy him.” War breaks a man down to the very fiber of his existence, and it is there that he is either changed for the better or for the worse. To recover from the depths of despair is a battle almost every soldier must fight, as for me, I have my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ to get me through this battle victoriously. I pray daily for those who have no comforter, and must face this battle alone. George Orwell said, “People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.” When you think about it, that’s what war is… VIOLENCE. To have to live in a daily situation, wondering if it will be your last. Having to take the life of another because he is trying to take yours, and having to live with the eternal conflict of it all. To see timid men become hardened individuals who have to make split second decisions of life and death. Wondering if you have the courage to do what you must and yet have the faith to know God will see you through it all. General Westmoreland said, “War is fear cloaked in courage.” I have yet to meet a soldier who does not have fear inside him, wondering what the day will bring. Turning that fear into courage at the blink of an eye, giving his life if need be, to save the life of his fellow soldier. How is it that fear and courage are so closely related and yet so considerably different? I am not sure I will ever know the answer to this question, but I do know you would be proud of the young men and women over here who must live within its differences.

Confederate General, Robert E. Lee, once said in a letter to his wife, “What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.” It’s so naïve to think we could all “just get along”, however, the intense hate these insurgents have, so as to take their own life to kill others, even innocent civilians, is beyond all my comprehension. To watch the families have to cope with the loss of loved ones, or have to rebuild their lives around the loss of the life they knew is truly heartbreaking. We have been through wars before, and each one is the same, just a different enemy or time, but war is war. There is no disguising its ugliness or its disregard for the innocent. There is no getting around what it is nor what it does to those involved. I am grateful I live in a nation that has the ability to take the fight to enemy, as I could never imagine our families having to live with the daily fear and terror these people must live with. I am grateful I live in a nation where people can, “sleep peaceably”, and not have to worry if the next day will be their last. I am grateful we have young men and women who Volunteer their lives, if need be, to make sure a war is never brought to the shores of our great nation. War is ugly, unkind, indifferent, brutal and devastating, but the men and women who are over here fighting it would make all of you proud. Proud to call them brother, sister, son, daughter, mommy, daddy and friend. Proud to pray for them daily, especially that they would make it home safely to their loved ones. Proud to say thanks next time you see one of them walk down the street. I am proud to have served with them, and will do it again if my country calls me to. I, like most of them, am proud to be a part of the largest fraternity in the world… The U.S. Military!

Father in Heaven, please be with those who are here fighting this conflict. Be with their families, friends and neighbors as they worry about them daily. Give comfort to the families, that they may know their loved on is protecting each of them because they have chosen to defend our amazing nation. Father, send Angels around those who have lost someone here and in Afghanistan, that you would give them your eternal peace. Be with the injured as they seek to start their lives again, and give them strength to endure the pain and hardships of rehabilitation. Father, watch over this nation, and take care of the Iraqi people as they try to defend and govern themselves. I pray for my enemies, that they would find their way in you and lay down their arms. I pray for their families as well, who will lose loved ones they care for. Father, may this war end quickly and may you bring back the troops safely to their families. Lord, I love and praise you in all things and am thankful you have given me a small role to play in helping others in this horrible thing called war. Father, it is in your son Jesus Christ name I pray…. Amen

here is an e-mail from a reserve guy - the title was "Hair raising" I hope that we caqn say prayers for these men.

How's it going back in good 'ol Dallas? I hope all is well with you...Here is what happened with me over the last couple days.

First off, it seems as soon as you roll into Iraq from Kuwait you go into a twilight zone, what a dump it is up there. TRASH everywhere...I don't know how they live like that. We took small arms fire just south of Baghdad, it was like they knew we were coming. Talk about feeling like a sitting duck. Thank god, no IED or RPG's..just small arms fire. I had forgot how much one's heart races when getting fired at. I fired two full magazines...back, when the firing started, we sped up (the convoy), thank god no one was injured. Appearently this is a common thing on convoys..the bigger attacks make headlines or if a soldier dies. I get back and heard that 5 soldiers were killed in or around Baghdad. It's just freaky.

Then on the way back down here it was a little further south that we got fired at again, this time there was either a IED or a RPG that was fired. It hit near one of the vehicles..no one was injured...thank god! Talk about being scared...but that feeling of "I can't believe someone is trying to kill me" just filled my mind. At one end of the spectrum, now that i've experienced it, you don't really think too much about it when it happens, it's after the fact that you think how fucking luky one is to make it back all in one piece. I hope I don't end up on another one anytime soon.... One good thing they do have up there are great places to sleep, they get their own rooms..real barracks, and great food...but NO THANKS, not everytime you step foot off that camp someone has the intent of killing you...NO THANKS!!!

I can't say for sure with all the rounds I fired if I hit anyone or not, we didn't stick around to find out either. I've got to run, but that was pretty wild...Take care and take it easy!!

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