early morning in downtown Little Rock, Arkansas
Posted on 08/07/2005 9:56:01 AM PDT by Libloather
Clinton country
Since the 42nd president, Arkansas's claim to fame is bigger than a watermelon, writes Kevin Pilley
April 16, 2005
early morning in downtown Little Rock, Arkansas
THE MAN at the bar at Atlanta airport asked me where I was headed. When I said "Arkansas", he raised his eyebrows and blew out his cheeks.
I asked him what it was like.
"Let's put it this way," he replied. "Some of the people there still have tails."
Arkansas is archetypal Nowheresville rural America. Or at least, it used to be before Bill Clinton came along. Now nowhere is somewhere.
Clinton has put his home state on the map. He may not have forged an era of new beginning but he has certainly ushered in a new era of tourism for the flatlands just northeast of Texas.
Arkansas didn't have much going for it before the 42nd president of the United States. It had neither identity nor credibility. It was neither part of the deep south nor the mid-west.
It was routinely written off as a hick state full of cross-eyed backwoods hillbillies and in-bred rednecks who dated their chickens and took pot shots at passing clean-cut liberals. The image of Arkansas was of folks sitting away their lives on their front porches duelling with banjos and singing songs like Boil Them Cabbages Down, while the local rural crafts were often seen as barehand bauxite-breaking and sodomy.
As president, Clinton partially delivered Arkansas from its Deliverance country image. It is no longer the premier "joke" state.
Pre-Clinton, the most famous thing to have been born and to grow up in Arkansas was the world's biggest watermelon. Before Clinton, all Arkansas could boast of was producing more broiler chickens and fewer rocket scientists per capita than any other US state. "Heirloom quality" reproduction Civil War footwear was one of its most popular exports. So short of home-grown attractions was Arkansas that its official brochure actually boasted of having milk as its state beverage as well as some of North America's prettiest sedge.
Now, greatly impressed with itself for producing a world celebrity who also has written a book, Arkansas has created a "Bill Clinton Heritage Trail". For many, Clinton remains a hero who is living proof that, in modern America, anyone can achieve anything so long as they have the right values and ideas, keep their unattractive daughter out of sight and manage to keep a full head of healthy-looking hair well into their 40s and beyond.
Most people born in Arkansas grow up and run for the state line. Clinton chose to run for political office, becoming the youngest governor at 32.
Most people in south Arkansas hero-worship Clinton. In the north they worship trout. Everyone loves him. Everyone except perhaps Ivan, Jason and Lloyd Bright who grew the world record watermelon. Nobody cares about mutant watermelons any more.
Arkansas now has Hope – the state's Bethlehem. It is where it all began. It is the holiest of holies; a hallowed spot and shrine. It therefore is a major tourist attraction.
The fairytale story of Hempsted County's favourite son began in 1946. The ex-president's actual birthplace, Chester Hospital on South Main St, is no longer there, which says much for his much-vaunted health-care program. It is now a funeral home, which says even more.
His two boyhood homes at 117 S. Hervey and 321 W.13th are major landmarks and tourist draws. Busloads of fans visit them every day. Getting a snapshot of yourself leaning up against the picket face of Arkansas's Church of the Nativity is a must-have photo opportunity.
Here, for many Democrats, it is a moment of profound religious intensity. This is where their saviour felt the first stirrings of constructive change and, charged with youthful optimism, where the hope of being made a martyr by Congress first dawned on him.
This is where William Jefferson Blyth was also potty-trained and learned to use cutlery. Hope is a place all Clinton believers believe in profoundly. Their faith in Hope is absolute.
Wayne and Elaine Johnson own The Presidential Shoppe in Hope. They sell every conceivable piece of kitsch necessary for full-scale Clinton worship. For sale are sax tie pins, face masks, tea mugs, thimbles, official campaign memorabilia, official inauguration paraphernalia, Christmas tree baubles, much sought-after White House stationery, limited edition "Sox" (the Clinton family cat) calendars, as well as biographies of Clinton, his stepfather, stepbrother and even his former cook.
The most prized item in the world's largest collection of Clinton relics is an invitation to his third birthday party. The most popular item with the public is a "Happy Days Are Here Again!" T-shirt.
The worst-selling item is the "Hillary Rodham Clinton Fan Club" T-shirts. You can even buy "I Love Bill" tattoos to emboss a chosen body part as an indelible article of faith.
Elsewhere in Arkansas you can invest in the biggest-selling T-shirt of them all in the fishing-mad state – "The Way To A Man's Heart Is Through His Fly".
The Clinton Trail takes you to "significant graves" and houses with stars and stripes flags outside them as well as to scenes of keynote speeches, momentous soundbites, extraordinary feats of gladhandling and self-indulgent saxophone solos.
It takes you to his old schools, churches, favourite masonic temples and restaurants. It does not take you anywhere near Whitewater. Or Vietnam.
From Hope it takes you 120km north to Hot Springs where the budding chief executive moved when he was four.
There you also can take in Baileys Dairy Treat, formerly The Polar Bar, in which Clinton reputedly spent many of his formative years eating chilli cheeseburgers and drinking sodas. For a while it was run by a Vietnamese couple.
Another haunt was McLard's restaurant which produces 3 tonnes of presidentially endorsed fall-away tender hickory-smoked ribs, 1000 litres of 'slaw, 300 handrolled tamales and 1000 litres of his favourite sauce. For the price of mild indigestion, owner Scott McLard will tell you about his visit to the White House and the time Air Force One stopped on its way to a summit meeting just to stock up on barbecue sauce.
The end of "The Bill Clinton Experience" is Little Rock where he was governor for 12 years.
In what was once an institute for the blind you can see a replica of the Oval Room.
In Little Rock the spin doctors are not so voluble. They are not quite so keen to revere Clinton for choosing the path of politics rather than the path of cretinism. For many these days in mid-America, the distinction between the two is not so apparent.
"He ain't that special" is a common sentiment. "He is no Superman. He can't stop cranberry blight."
As one dissenter in dungarees and cap said over some down-home grits: "He still has pains in the chest like any normal American."
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GETTING THERE
History: Arkansas belongs to the American South. It sided firmly with the Confederacy in the Civil War of the 19th century and its capital, Little Rock, was, in 1957, one of the most notorious flashpoints in the struggle for civil rights. Geographically, however, it marks the beginning of the Great Plains.
Currency: $1 is the equivalent of approximately US80c.
Red tape: If you do not have a Machine Readable Passport (MRP) you will need to obtain a visa for entry into the US before travelling. Contact the embassy in Canberra, tel: (02) 6214 5600 (usembassy-australia.state.gov) or one of the consulates in Melbourne, Sydney or Perth.
Getting around: It's extremely difficult to venture beyond Little Rock and Hot Springs using public transportation. Greyhound buses run intermittent services, while Amtrak rail cuts diagonally east-west through the state, calling at Little Rock, which also holds the only sizeable airport. To see the Ozarks you'll need a car.
Festivals: Each autumn, on the weekend before Columbus Day, the city of Helena holds the free King Biscuit Blues Festival which attracts big-name blues, acoustic and gospel performers. Eureka Springs also holds a good folk festival in October.
Activities: The Buffalo River, a prime destination for white-water canoeing, flows across the state north of Mountain View.
This information has been extracted from The Rough Guide to the USA (seventh edition), published by Rough Guides, $35. www.roughguides.com
Australians should keep in mind - Hillary is from New York...
Is that you?
I don't live in Arkansas. However I am flattered to be in the fraternity of Blokes Named Ivan Who Despise Clinton.
Regards, Ivan
DO you have a secret handshake and password?
I could tell you, but then I would have to kill you.
Regards, Ivan
Can you take my spot on the Trilateral Commission?
I'd have to give up my Bilderburger day job to do that.
Regards, Ivan
And here at FreeRepublic, we P&P on him!!!
My friend, who traveled all over the country and is very conservative, said Arkansas is a really beautiful state. Also, she liked Utah.
I knew I made a wrong turn at Albuquerque.
People that like Clinton are not Americans, certainly not patriots, and certainly probably cannot even read...
"Arkansas now has Hope – the state's Bethlehem. It is where it all began. It is the holiest of holies; a hallowed spot and shrine. It therefore is a major tourist attraction."
The last time I drove by Hope, Arkansas, there was a large sign outside of town on the interstate. The sign said: "Hope Arkansas, Home of President Bill Clinton." That sign had more holes and dents than any sign I've ever seen. It must have been the target for many passing motorists.
Contrary to popular beliefs, Clinton was never potty trained.
Where there were dozens of dead bodies left behind Bill's and Hillary's footsteps.
I used to work with a guy from Arkansas and he said, "Arkansas is the only place in the world you can call a girl a pig and she'll go home with you."
Comes packed in a humidor or (optionally) wrapped in a blue dress..
The best way to describe it and keep someone's attention is to replace 'dozens' with the words, 'statistically-significant.'Because so many people died under unusual or mysterious circumstances, it takes a while to present each account, then tie it back to a bigger conclusion.
And that conclusion is: People that get in the way of the Clintons generally don't block them for long. And that includes friends as well as enemies, and turtles on fence posts.
"Arkansas didn't have much going for it before the 42nd president of the United States"
"It was routinely written off as a hick state full of cross-eyed backwoods hillbillies and in-bred rednecks who dated their chickens and took pot shots at passing clean-cut liberals. The image of Arkansas was of folks sitting away their lives on their front porches duelling with banjos and singing songs like Boil Them Cabbages Down, while the local rural crafts were often seen as barehand bauxite-breaking and sodomy.
Now add to the list of shame the President known only for getting BJ's by an fat intern.
At least Kennedy dated movie stars...
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