Posted on 08/04/2005 6:32:01 PM PDT by Aussie Dasher
AMERICAN brides are rejecting the vow to love "till death do us part" in favour of more cautious promises such as staying together "for as long as our marriage shall serve the common good".
A survey by professional wedding planners estimates that barely half of this year's 2.6 million US weddings will be held in a place of worship and only one couple in five will stick to the traditional wedding script. The rest will either "update" the wedding vows or create them from scratch, often lacing them with private jokes.
This follows a lead set by Hollywood stars such as Julia Roberts, whose handwritten vows reportedly included the pledge to "love, support but not obey" her second husband, Daniel Moder.
Traditionalists say increasingly popular phrases such as "I promise to be loyal as long as love lasts" are undermining the lifelong commitment that has been at the heart of marriage since St Paul told the Corinthians a man and wife are bound together "unto the grave".
Lady Diana Spencer caused some controversy when she declined to "obey" Prince Charles on their marriage in 1981. But in the US, churches have been struggling to hold the line at "till death do us part".
"This is unconditional," said William Donahue, president of the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights. "Once you change that to 'as long as love shall last' or similar, marriage becomes conditional and goes against the grain of the sacrament."
Yet this is what is happening. Mary Jo Gallegos, of the Association of Bridal Consultants, which carried out the research, said that with more marriages between people of different faiths and cultures, old rules no longer applied.
"I cannot recall the last time I heard a bride promise to love unto death," said Ms Gallegos, who runs a Californian agency called An Affaire of the Heart.
"People are more realistic now, especially if they are on their second or third marriage."
Half of American marriages end in divorce, although that number has declined slightly as people opt to cohabit instead.
Americans live together for three years on average before they "drift" into marriage.
Sharon Naylor, author of Your Special Wedding Vows, said she had heard vows such as "until our time together is over".
"Yet these people take the institution very seriously, especially if they are on a second marriage," she said. "They understand that you do not make a promise you cannot keep."
Critics say the trend has been "legitimised" by celebrities such as Roberts and her fellow actor Sandra Bullock, who pledged to "love you as long as our engines last" when she married a man renowned for tinkering with racing motorbikes.
I won't marry until I get a "I promise to obey"
ping
WTF?
Some sleazes will define that as ten minutes.
Well if the bride won't vow, "till death do us part," I'm not sending a wedding gift.
If marriage were a healthy institution it would be fag proof.
I think that a lot of people have forgotten how marriage is supposed to last. Our Lord Jesus Christ said this:
"It was said, 'Whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce'; but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except in the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery."
-----Matthew 31:32
why bother getting married at all? If it's such a crap shoot to these people, I can't imagine that a piece of paper means much to them... heck, why bother being faithful for that matter? Selfish jerks...
My husband's grandfather performed our ceremony and even HE wanted to take out "obey".. I told him to leave it in.
CORRECTION: MATTHEW 5:31-32
I'm doomed.
What's the point of getting married, if one makes it up as they go along?
I might try to rethink my position that they gay climate is trying to ruin the institution of marraige.
I think that it's already had a head start by those attitudes mentioned in this article.
Sorry. I typed it too fast. I do that sometimes.
I promise to love honor and obey as long as his F I C O score stays above 700......: )
....and her weight below 125
How about "Hold still."
Will that do?
And I didn't even go with "til death us do part". Ours was "love you and honor you all the days of my life."
TS
Whoa, wait a minute here.
Are you telling me the "obey" part is supposed to be in the WIFE'S vows???
Ya mean for the last twenty years... are you tellin me...
oh man.
Affimative!
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