Magic words. These quotes will always stay with me

CNN-SI ^ | August 2, 2005 2:30PM | John Rolfe

[.cnI redruM]

One of the more pleasing by-products of the world of sports is the great quote --

-- is Stengel's poetic, "I had many years that I was not so successful as a ballplayer, as it is a game of skill."

I also love journeyman pitcher Frank Sullivan's brutally frank assessment, "I'm in the twilight of a mediocre career."

• Pitcher Dizzy Dean upon his induction to the Hall of Fame: "I was blessed with a strong arm and a weak mind."

• Stengel on his Amazin' Mets: "They've shown me ways to lose I never knew existed."

• Stengel on his rookie catcher: "I got a kid, Greg Goosen, he's 19 years old and in 10 years he's got a chance to be 29."

• Head coach John McKay, during the Tampa Bay Bucs' 28-game losing streak, when asked after a game what he thought about his team's execution: "I think it's a good idea."

The ultimate in motivational speech: • Coaching legend John Heisman: "Gentlemen, it is better to have died as a small boy than to fumble this football."

• NHL legend Conn Smythe: "If you can't beat 'em in the alley, you can't beat 'em on the ice."

Pitcher Tug McGraw on money: "Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish whisky. The other 10 percent I'll probably waste."

Pinch-hitter extraordinaire Smokey Burgess: "I felt pretty good when I got up this morning, but I got over it."

• Chicago Tribune/Sun-Times columnist Mike Royko: "Hating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers, and cheating on your income tax." On fans:

• Pitcher Bo Belinsky: "Philadelphia fans would boo funerals, an Easter egg hunt, a parade of armless war vets and the Liberty Bell,"

[.cnI redruM]

He forgot a couple of good ones...

The U of Florida Football Coach who told his team to line up from ugliest to dumbest deserves at least honorable mention, as does Joe Thiesmann for this masterpiece:

"There arn't many smart people in football. A smart guy is someone like Norman Einstien or somebody."

[the invisib1e hand]

but the all time winner is was the one told to congress, "I don't know how to be more clear. I have never used steroids..." by some guy named Pameiro.

[jjmcgo]

My favorite, from Bob Verdi in the Chicago Tribune:
"John Riggins is harder to stop than a magazine subscription."

Scotty Bowman to Brett Hull during his slump early in the 2002 Stanley Cup Playoffs, "Hey Brett, did you play for Dallas in 1999?" Hull had the controversial Stanley Cup-winning goal.

"You're next." Scott Stevens to Dino Ciccarelli, after stomping one of Dino's teammates.

[Getready]

Yes, you see they used ME! I myself cannot use steroids, the
steroids act on ME....

If you parse (ala B.Clinton) his statement, "I never put steroids
into my body"...it could be true...

He could have used an anabolic steroid cream, so although it
never was IN his body, it eventually worked its' own
way into his body, so he never himself put it IN his body.
Also, it may be that someone ELSE put in IN his body,
therefore it could be true that HE himself never put it in
his body....
On the other hand, they could have mixed up the lab samples, or
they had a vendetta on him....where's Barry Schenk???

[the invisib1e hand]

If you parse (ala B.Clinton) his statement, "I never put steroids into my body"...it could be true...

the clinton analogy is totally apt. it's the clinton excuse, from the clinton legacy. the lowest moments in the history of the white house. what a freakin spineless worm. gives men a bad name. did you have to get me started on this? what an effect leadership has...even poor leadership.

[Mister_Diddy_Wa_Diddy]

How about these:

1992 Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his team's 7-27 record: "We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. As general manager, I just can't figure out where else to play."

1987 Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."

1991 Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."

[Petronski]

Coaching legend John Heisman: "Gentlemen, it is better to have died as a small boy than to fumble this football."

I'm going to remember that one. Yikes!

[Mister_Diddy_Wa_Diddy]

One of my favorites:

"Better make it six, I can't eat eight."- Dan Osinski, Baseball pitcher, when a waitress asked if he wanted his pizza cut into six or eight slices

[yankeedame]

Football combines two of the worst things in American life. It is violence punctuated by committee meetings.
- George Will

To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography and the dancers hit each other.
- Jack Handy Deep Thoughts

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base.
- Dave Barry

I know the Virginia players are smart because you need a 1500 SAT to get in. I have to drop bread crumbs to get our players to and from class
-George Raveling Washington State basketball coach

A hot dog at the ball park is better than steak at the Ritz.
- Humphrey Bogart

[.cnI redruM]

Williams had a point there....

lol

[kx9088]

Pitcher Bo Belinsky: "Philadelphia fans would boo funerals, an Easter egg hunt, a parade of armless war vets and the Liberty Bell,"

So true it hurts.

[.cnI redruM]

>>>A hot dog at the ball park is better than steak at the Ritz


Unless it's sold by a vendor at RFK! But, yeah, there ain't much better in life than sitting in the bleachers, eating hot dogs and beer and talking with one or two lifetime friends.

[.cnI redruM]

They did boo Santa Claus once.....And they boo'ed McNabb when he was selected in the draft.

[kx9088]

And they boo'ed Michael Irvin when he was taken off the field on a stretcher, they boo'ed Ricky "Alligator Arms" Waters for choosing to not end up a vegetable (but yet they tried to defend Stinkston for a while?).

Eagles fans are psychotic.

[.cnI redruM]

I have a big 'Eggles' Fan in the office. He goes to Redskin games at Fed-Ex Field just to yell at the crowd while the Deadskins live up to their nickname. I've recommended he try that act out the next time Philly plays in Pittsburgh or Cleveland, just for the adventure of it.

[TheBigB]

"Ninety percent of the game is half mental."~~Yogi Berra

[Petronski]

"Nobody goes there anymore, it's too crowded." ---Yogi Berra

[Axeslinger]

1988 Charles Shakelford, NC State basketball player, being interviewed on local tv:

"I can dribble with my right hand and I can dribble with my left hand. I'm amphibious."

[TheBigB]

Whenever I think about quotes, I go back to those SNL "Deep Thoughts" by Jack Handy. I can't read them and NOT laugh!

"If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like "Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!" and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, "That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice." Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink."

"Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis."

"Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind."

"To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad."

[jjmcgo]

Can't remember the name of the Harvard basketball coach who came up with this beauty, "When I asked the recruit how he did on his boards and he replied 'over 12 a game," I knew he wasn't coming to Harvard."