[Dashing Dasher]

Here..I wrote one for the guys:

The American Heart Association announced an agreement today with the National Football League and the National Basketball Association to use uglier women as cheerleaders. The Association believes "unattractive" and "paunchy" women would be less likely to encourage men into a sedentary lifestyle. The new code, designed to free men from an endless lifetime of beer swilling and game watching, stresses that watching attractive women jump and jiggle is equally bad for a man's heart.

[pissant]

They've already applied that rule for stewardesses!