Hot diggity dog! (humor w/ mild PETA alert)

The Pittsburgh Triune-Review ^ | 07/24/05 | Tom Purcell (OP/ED)

[smoothsailing]

Hot diggity dog!

By Tom Purcell

Sunday, July 24, 2005

It's July and we know what that means: People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals is grossing us out about hot dogs.

July is National Hot Dog month, a glorious month when the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council tells us about the history of the dog, shares new recipes and explains why Americans chomp down more than 7 billion dogs every summer.

I had two hot dogs for lunch yesterday and enjoyed them immensely. I enjoyed them because, 1) They were dang tasty and, 2) It drives the PETA folks hog wild. That's why they try to gross us out about dogs.

"Every third-grade boy knows what nasty things lurk in hot dogs, from ears to eyelids," writes Paula Moore on PETA's Web site. "A U.S. Department of Agriculture official confirmed that hot dogs contain skeletal muscles, along with parts of pork stomach, snout, intestines, spleens, edible fat, and, yes, lips."

YUM, YUM

That sounds like a Harry Potter recipe. It also sounds mighty tasty, so long as it's ground up, stuffed into a sausage casing, grilled to perfection, smattered with mustard and washed down with an ice-cold beer.

Moore next focuses on a Wall Street Journal investigation that details hot dog complaints consumers sent to the federal government.

"They found several unsavory surprises, including a three-inch rubber band, something described as a greenish blue glob, pieces of glass, and even screws and other metal objects."

Hey, Paula, that may be true, but I'll bet a CAT scan of Howard Dean's brain would locate the same items, and I don't hear PETA complaining about him.

Moore then tries to frighten us about additional risks of eating hot dogs....

[lilylangtree]

All together now, folks! One, two, and three...

"Oh, I love to have an Oscar Mayer Weiner......"

[FReethesheeples]

I ate this article up.

I say, BARF on PETA!

[GladesGuru]

In the industry, hot dog ingredients are widely known to contain a large amount of what is called "lids and lips". Add a bit of sawdust, some chemicals, synthetic flavors, and one has the "tube steak" so often found on grills across America.

[RandallFlagg]

GREAT! Now I'm hungry again...

[patton]

Ever made scrapple? I have. I don't mean cooked it, I mean made it.

Food is what you can catch, when you are hungry.

[Carry_Okie]

IMHO, tube steaks are gross.

I feed slices to my dog as training treats.

[patton]

Of course, I have also eaten cockroaches, palmette bugs, and sequetas. I was hungry.

My kid came out to the studio one day, and said, "Dad, bet you a buck you won't eat this bug!" Munch, munch.

A few minutes later, he appeared with five friends - "Watch my dad eat a bug!" Munch, munch.

Then the little entreprenur turned to his friends, and said, "That'll be a buck."

I was ROFL.

[smoothsailing]

It's best to know your butcher,or be your own.

[Treader]

I appreciate vegans and vegetarians- and eat their parts and pieces almost every day. Gotta plug for Millers Cajun Dogs- if you can find 'em, try 'em. Outstanding dogs!

[OKIEDOC]

Sounds like a story that a male nurse tells over at the hospital.

It's about the time he worked in a processing plant where they made veggie burgers.

You know those things no one but a pure idiot would eat and call it scrumptious food.

Well anyway he chewed tobacco and every time he needed to spit , he spit into the veggie burger mess.

So I guess it's all in what your tastes are.

Personally I would trade a good hot dog for any number of politically correct foods.

Gosh, those damn savages calling themselves terrorists (err I mean Liberal Democrats, sorry) eat that veggie crap and you see how radically insane they have become.

I'll bet if ole Ahab would just once chow down on a good hot dog we would easily win the war on terror.

[smoothsailing]

My dog is crazy about bananas.Not much of a training tool,though.

No matter what I say,he just can't get the hang of peeling one.

[Treader]

lol...I did the same thing with my sons, and they now amaze my grand kids- with the same magic.

[smoothsailing]

Thanks.They sound like wieners! :^)

[patton]

I think that is the coolest thing anyone has ever said to me, "magic."

Thanks.

[Windsong]

"..and washed down with an ice-cold beer.

Just as long as its a Bud. :)

[smoothsailing]

LOL! Ice-cold is the key.Tom Purcell(the writer)is probably drinking Iron City.It is Pittsburgh,after all!

ISECOLE AHRNN (a little Pittsburghese)

[Cindy]

PERFECT PETA PICNIC MENU

1 packet of pita pockets
Fill with your favorite lunch MEATS and vegetables

Fruit Salad

Chocolate Candy Bars or Chocolate Brownies

Your Favorite Beverage

Directions:
Eat.
Enjoy.
Repeat as desired.

[smoothsailing]

YUMMY! :^)

[Cindy]

Yep.

If one doesn't care for lunch MEATS, steak cut into bite-size bits with veges is also a tasty option.