I don't argue the political agenda of some gays. I separate the individual gay people I know from the agenda. The folks I know that are gay have ziltch interest in politics; they are too busy with jobs and houses and all the other stuff people do.
As their primary weapon in this struggle the leftist proponents of gay rights and abortion chant the mantra, "Government should stay out of our private lives!" They use that weapon because many on the right have absolutely no defense against it. Indeed, when they hear it, they draw their own swords in agreement and commence to cut the throats of conservatives near them, just as has been done on this thread.
Here's the rub: liberals will see to it that the direct effects of abortion and the gay rights agenda are not confined to the privacy of the one's home, bedroom, or body. These practices will, indeed they already have, come to profoundly affect the lives of other Americans, especially the traditional American family, in powerfully corrosive and damaging ways. We are ALL paying an obscenely high cost for the consequences of being forced by liberals and laissez-faire conservatives to accept these things. At some point that cost may bankrupt us in ways that our most dedicated external enemies never could.
The sentiment of the argument "keep government out of our private lives" is sound, but in its execution with regard to gay rights and abortion, liberals will continue to redefine American culture and laws in their own image, and we will ALL be forced to conform. Laws will be implemented and aggressively enforced by government to guarantee it.
But to your point that Santorum's aide should not be treated in this disgraceful fashion, I fully agree with you. There is no indication that he believes the gay rights agenda should be foisted on America or that he is using his position to undermine Santorum's mainstream views on the issue. He should be treated with dignity and respect and left alone in peace. The Republican Party is enriched and strengthened by the presence and hard work of such men and women.
To suggest otherwise (that is, that he is actually working to advance the gay rights agenda) you'd have to believe the aide was a very clever deep cover "plant" by gay activists, and that they placed him there for the very purpose of creating a controversy that would create a schism between Santorum and a substantial number of his conservative supporters. I don't subscribe to tinfoil theory, so I tend to believe that aide is a man like any other man who struggles with private choices but has the wisdom, good sense, discretion, and self-control to keep them private. The liberals who are cynically manipulating the situation are the villains here, not Santorum.