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Almost all of thr wedding announcements I got when I was single said "Mr. Freedumb2003 and guest."

Many of them were of that middle size where I think strangers could have infiltrated and no one would have known.

In California there are a lot of outdoor weddings and they are hard to "control."

Maybe all these strict rules I am reading on this thread are regional?

"Maybe all these strict rules I am reading on this thread are regional?"

I was thinking the same thing.

Also, not everyone has the same idea of what - or who - a wedding is *for*.

A lot of people down here (way down in the ignorant backwards Deep South) think a wedding should be about celebrating the couple's marriage, as well as celebrating the joining of two families.

So, for us a wedding and reception is really about the bride's and groom's families, not the ceremony or reception itself.

This attitude lends itself to a certain informality: If the wedding's about families, you can't very well exclude all of the family members' children, can you? By extension, if you've got lots of children around, do you really want a three-hour formal sit-down dinner with place cards?

Also, this is a very religious area. Many people here (most of my extended family, for example) have religious beliefs that prohibit alcohol, and they would also frown on a band or DJ. So booze and dancing are out in many weddings.

What do you do for entertainment during the reception, then? The families mingle and talk to each other, of course. Buffet-style food (whether just finger foods and cake or a full meal) is best for this, since people are more likely to strike up conversations if they have to get up and move around, instead of staying put at a table.

Also, people can talk to whom they like, when they like, instead of being confined to talking to those at the same table: "Hey, look, there's Cousin Eddie! I haven't seen him in ten years - I'm going to go see how he's doing!"

Finally, children talking and moving around is a lot less noticeable and bothersome to guests when the adults are already up and mingling. And the children are in a better mood if they are not confined to a chair again after having just sat still through the ceremony.

Something else that is frequently done here that would no doubt horrify those who think weddings *must* be formal is the open invitation. While of course formal invitations are sent directly to family and friends, many weddings are also announced in the newspaper as open to all who would like to come share the couple's joy. Sometimes you can run into old friends and extended family you haven't seen or thought about in years that way. :-)

If an informal reception is planned, the reception might also be open. After the bride and groom exit, the minister/officiator invites everyone at the wedding to also attend the reception. We did this at my wedding.

Of course, a boor could crash and ruin a public ceremony or reception, but I've never seen it happen. Generally people around here know that an "open to anyone" wedding is likely to be a "dry" wedding, so people who are searching for a party to crash look elsewhere.

This doesn't mean the wedding is not taken seriously - we still have the formal ceremony with all of the trimmings: music (usually provided by a pianist, organist, and vocalist), elaborate bouquets and floral displays, candelabras, fancy white gown and veil for the bride, gowns for the bridesmaids, tuxes for the groom and his attendants, professional photographers and videographers, etc. We also have nice receptions with an elaborate wedding cake, professionally catered food, etc. It's just all done in a family-friendly way.

Different strokes for different folks.

No, the rules aren't regional at all. As a matter if fact, they are universal. Whether or not people adhere to them or not, is , of course, their choice.

And FYI...unless I am very much mistaken, you are getting weddinginvitations; not wedding announcements and yes, there IS a difference.