It's Venus vs. Mars for Singles at Weddings (This summer, hide your bridesmaids.)

Fox News ^ | Tuesday, July 12, 2005 | Darragh Worland

[rawhide]

NEW YORK — This summer, hide your bridesmaids.

So warns the promo for this weekend's new movie, "Wedding Crashers", which is about a couple of bachelors who show up at weddings uninvited to prey on lonely bridesmaids and especially desperate female guests.

The movie cashes in on two common stereotypes about weddings: that women hate attending nuptials alone, and that men, realizing how vulnerable weddings make single women feel, use the occasions to their advantage.

But how are true are these generalizations?

[numberonepal]

Everyone's attention is on the bride and groom, as it should be. It is, after all, their day.

Not really. If you actually think non-metro's are focusing on the B&G, you've got another thing coming. Weddings have a tradition (and I mean a loooong tradition) of being a seriously great place for the easy hook up.

And on the flip side, couples usually inject a little fire into their relationship from the goings on at weddings.

[Miss Marple]

I did my daughter's formal wedding last year. In our part of the country we do have guests. Each invitation I sent to a single friend of my daughter's had the interior envelope addressed Mr. X and guest or Miss X and guest. Some people brought guests and some did not.

My personal opinion is that if the bride's parents wish to invite guests, it is perfectly permissible to do so. Showing up uninvited, however, is not.

[ladyjane]

the ENTIRE wedding party spends the night with the bride and groom at a hotel. Yuppers over a dozen guyz n gurlz in several rooms adjacent to the bridal suite.

OMG

[old and tired]

The thing is, when a wedding is run correctly, NO singles, who aren't engaged, or about to be, are allowed to bring a date.

I bet you had a cash bar at your wedding too.

[DarkSavant]

Well my experience at Weddings(Yes, I only go when invited), is that women show their interest at someone much easier than in other cases. Out of about five weddings I've been to, at two I've had a couple basically throw themselves at me, and at a third one was keenly interested. I can tell you I don't get those kind of stats outside of a wedding.

Think they just get caught up in the moment, which does make things a lot easier on the guy. I don't really think it has to do with loneliness as much as the excitement(and alcohol), override the usual female timidity.

As to crashing a wedding uninvited to pick up women, that's just cheating :).

[Miss Marple]

My major accomplishement was devising a buffet menu that allowed for both vegans (art school crowd) and Atkins diet followers. I was quite proud of that! Everyone had something good to eat, and I got many compliments on the food! (This isn't as easy as it sounds, by the way, if you are trying to stay within a catering budget.)

We did NOT have place cards. I cannot imagine anything more pointless...people would have simply ignored them. We actually had people show up in jeans, and this for a formal evening wedding! What I realized is that many of these kids had never attended this type of wedding, and many of them came up to me and went on and on about how beautiful the whole thing was, how they couldn't believe we FED them, etc.

[old and tired]

As a father whose paid for his share of weddings, I can tell you the buffets are no cheaper than sit downs, and in some cases more expensive. Something about having to have enough food if the whole crowd decides to go prime rib or chicken - you've got to have enough of both.

I agree, though, that buffets are the way to go. Much more suitable for a party.

[RSmithOpt]

Sounds like you have some pretty good friends, too. IMHO, I think that people in general today put way too much expense towards weddings. It's more of the bride's family (and/or groom's too) wanting to flaunt their affluence in a 'social' setting. The richer the families involved, the more 'need' to feel that tons of pompous is required for the public showing.

Have you ever wondered what the divorce rate would look like in this country if the couple and their respective families put God first as the cornerstone foundation of their marriage commitment(s) and vowed to spend half the effort with one another the rest of their lives as the effort (time and dollars) they spend up front to 'pull off' the wedding? Some folks easily spend $35,000 to $50,000 to get their daughter(s) married. Imagine what the nest egg would look like at 60 yrs old if half that amount was placed into a Roth IRA mutual fund for both the bride and the groom that marry in their early twenties ?

[Sloth]

Asking permission to bring a date, is not only bad manners, in the extreme, but would be rebuffed by most. Unless, of course, it was a rather informal wedding and done on the cheap.

You are quite the snob.

[RSmithOpt]

BTW, congratulations and the best of warm wishes.

I replied to your earlier comment before reading this one and realizing that you are about to not 'have to worry about guys hitting on you at weddings' (lol).

[proud American in Canada]

I am sure I would feel sad. I miss my husband and my marriage. Also, I would like to fall in love again and get married

My thoughts are with you--I hope you find love again. :)

[wordsofearnest]

What's a place setting?

[wordsofearnest]

You are talking about the reception? All this has nothing to do with the wedding.

[Tax-chick]

The thing is, when a wedding is run correctly, NO singles, who aren't engaged, or about to be, are allowed to bring a date.

Exactly. If you're not invited by name, you don't attend, in my family.

[Tax-chick]

In theory (says Miss Manners) the marriage ceremony itself is open to the public (if it's in a public place such as a park, beach, or courthouse), and open to the congregation if it's held in a church. It's the reception that is the invitation-only social event.

[old and tired]

Exactly. If you're not invited by name, you don't attend, in my family.

But isn't the polite thing to do to invite a single person with a guest? Then the single person can decide if they're uncomfortable attending solo. Particularly if the person is coming from out of town - this rule does not so much apply in the case of a single cousin who'll be there with four or five siblings who may or may not be married - that case, I would say, would depend upon your budget.

We always invite single people with a guest to our family weddings - they do not always bring a member of the opposite sex, sometimes they come with just a friend. Also, widows who need a driver will generally bring one of their adult children as their guest. Consideration for the situation of your individual guests is very important.

[madison10]

You and your affianced are rude,then . How will a complete stranger know who to sit next to? Either you care about the people you have invited to share your joy, or you don't. It sounds as though you don't.

I don't think they are rude at all. We just sit where ever we darn well please at weddings. It's a midwestern, middle-class, church-thing. I think YOU are wearing a very tight corset.

[madison10]

I know men who want to get married. One has been looking for awhile. How come there isn't a freep singles room? or some such forum.