Scarlett Johansson, OTOH, I find almost indecently beautiful. 
Posted on 07/06/2005 6:30:48 PM PDT by Paul Atreides
Hey, $3 to $4 bucks for a DVD is cool, especially since it deprives lefty stars of royalty cash. And the beauty of it all is that if the DVD is not scratched, it is as good as new...
A little bit on the nose and the eyes. Not a lot but her formerly cute nose is now surgically extremely cute.
Scarlett Johansson, OTOH, I find almost indecently beautiful.
Nicole Kidman is a lovely woman, and I actually never noticed any type of plastic surgery. It's a shame that "Bewitched" had such a bad script. I don't recommend it.
So...to help them with their research, I am posting the top five things that will get me back to the movies.
1. A real, honest to goodness story with honest to goodness dialogs. Quit writing soap opera plots and trying to disguise them with lots of obscenities, sex and special effects. We just aren't that stupid. Make us laugh because it's something we can relate to, not because somebody said a bad word. And the dialog? Well...leave some things "unexplained." We can sort of read between the lines starting about the age of 12. Remember that.
2. Quit remaking things somebody else did because no matter how bad it was the first time, it will still be better than yours. Quite frankly, remaking old TV shows for the big screen is a sign of some sort of unfulfilled adolescent fantasy. You need to see a shrink for that, not make a movie about it. And this is coming from someone who loves old TV shows. It's just that they speak for themselves and aren't "all about you."
3. Quit wandering around thinking your lives are fascinating. They are not. I know hundreds of real live people that are much more interesting than you. I don't care about your politics, religious beliefs, romances, marriages, children, sexual escapades, childhood traumas, drug rehabilitations or pets. Make the movie, promote it by showing up in pretty clothes and chit chatting about it with Morning Show Hosts. Then go out and do something productive with your life and the exorbitant money you make. And for pete's sake, quit whining about how hard your life is. We just don't believe you.
4. Quit being so depressing. Be groundbreaking and film something in the middle of the day for a change, or maybe daybreak after a good nights sleep, that hasn't been done for years. Toss in a happy ending every now and then. Look for the positive in life and the joy and the redemption, so when we come out of the theater we don't feel worse than we did when we went in. Why should we pay so much money to be assaulted on every level. You insult everything we believe in, take away any glimmer of goodness and then expect us to thank you for the experience. Well, guess again. I don't want to put ice on it.
5. Keep the food police away from the concession stand and lower the prices. Look...we don't eat that salty, buttery stuff every meal. But if I can't leave the theater with my fingers greasy and my arteries clogged, I certainly am not going to pay twelve bucks for a one dollar bucket of popcorn. And it wouldn't hurt you to train those young'uns that patrol the place to sweep up the jujubes. Gluing us to the floor is not a cost effective way to get us to watch more movies.
Ok. Sorry for the length, but that's my list. Who's up next.
Oops, heh, heh...sorry. :)
I know -- whoda thunk?
One question though...can't you order that up right at home?
Some things are just better on the big screen. :^)
I'd like to see "Hidalgo" but because the lead star, the Lord of the Rings guy that played Stryker, was shooting off his mouth against Bush and the Iraq War....no way. I haven't even rented the thing. It was on sale for $2.50 in the video bargain bin and I didn't buy it. If I see it free on the library DVD shelf, I'll check it out for free.
Feedback on "Bewitched": "just okay". I asked, what do you mean, was it funny? My contact answered with a shrug, "It was just okay."
Do I win the last word contest?
You win. ;^)
And I hate their snickering at my values. I despise Sarrandon and Robbins and Sheen and all the rest. How dare they tell me that I support starving children or aids in Africa because I disagree with their methods, all the while they are riding on special Virgin trains and toting their $12,000 goody bags.
I don't know about the rest of you, but it has been a long time since someone shoved a microphone in my face and asked for my opinion. The only real power I have is the power of my pocketbook, and by God Almighty, I will use that power to the best of my ability.
Maybe it is finally paying off.
Thanks. Like they'd listen to a real person. I'm afraid I'll just have to keep renting Cary Grant movies. ; )
Thanks. :) I'll get a copy.
The don't reeeeealy make tv shows into the big screen. Generally they spoof tv shows into a slap schtick comedy.
They do parodies.
I hope they never do "father knows best."
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