Great post.
There have been rumors for years that Scientology gets info on it's members and then uses blackmail to control.
He must have fallen with the dull side turned towards his hair.
Hmmm, 'they have something on him'. I may have to consider that one.
From what I've heard of Scientology, it's just this side of "Gee, I don't know where I'd be without my lucky Astrology mood watch."