Posted on 06/22/2005 4:28:00 PM PDT by perfect stranger
If you still have any doubts about whether closing Guantanamo is the right thing to do, Jimmy Carter recently cleared that up by demanding that it be closed. With any luck, he'll try to effect another one of those daring "rescue" attempts. Here's a foolproof method for keeping America safe: Always do the exact 180-degree opposite of whatever Jimmy Carter says as quickly as possible. (Instead of Guantanamo, how about we close down the Carter Center?)
Sen. Dick Durbin says it is reminiscent of the "Nazis, Soviets in their gulags or some mad regime Pol Pot or others." (He then offered the typical Democrat "if/then" non-apology: i.e., "if my remarks offended anyone," based on the rather remote possibility any sentient, English-speaking adult who didn't hate America could have heard them and not been offended.) Amnesty International calls Guantanamo a "gulag." Sen. Teddy Kennedy says he cannot condone allegations of near-drowning "as a human being." And Sen. Patrick Leahy calls it "an international embarrassment," as opposed to himself, a "national embarrassment."
On the bright side, at least liberals have finally found a group of people in Cuba whom they think deserve to be rescued.
In the interests of helping my country, I have devised a compact set of torture guidelines for Guantanamo.
It's not torture if:
The same acts performed on a live stage have been favorably reviewed by Frank Rich of the New York Times;
Andrew Sullivan has ever solicited it from total strangers on the Internet;
You can pay someone in New York to do it to you;
Karen Finley ever got a federal grant to do it;
It's comparable to the treatment U.S. troops received in basic training;
It's no worse than the way airlines treat little girls in pigtails flying to see Grandma.
It turns out that the most unpleasant aspect of life at Guantanamo for the detainees came with the move out of the temporary "Camp X-Ray." Apparently, wanton homosexual sex among the inmates is more difficult in their newer, more commodious quarters. (Suspiciously, detainees retailing outlandish tales of abuse to the American Civil Liberties Union often include the claim that they were subjected to prolonged rectal exams.) Plus, I hear the views of the Caribbean aren't quite as good from their new suites.
Even the tales of "torture" being pawned off by the detainees on credulous American journalists are pretty lame.
The Washington Post reported that a detainee at Guantanamo says he was "threatened with sexual abuse." (Bonus "Not Torture" rule: If it is similar to the way interns were treated in the Clinton White House.)
"Sign or you will be tortured!"
"What's the torture?"
"We will merely threaten you with horrible things!"
"That's it?"
"Shut up and do as we say, or we'll issue empty, laughable threats guaranteed to amuse you. This is your last warning."
One detainee in Afghanistan told a hyperventilating reporter for Salon that he was forced to stand with his arms in the air for "hours." Doctor, I still have nightmares about the time I was forced to stand with my arms up in the air ...
Others claimed they were forced into uncomfortable, unnatural positions, sort of like the Democrats' position on abortion. Next, the interrogators will be threatening to slightly undercook the Lemon Chicken!
According to Time magazine, this is how the "gulag of our time" treats the inmates: "The best-behaved detainees are held in Camp 4, a medium-security, communal-living environment with as many as 10 beds in a room; prisoners can play soccer or volleyball outside up to nine hours a day, eat meals together and read Agatha Christie mysteries in Arabic."
So they're not exactly raping the detainees with dogs at Guantanamo. (I still think the gift shop T-shirts that said "My dad went to Guantanamo and all I got was this lousy T-shirt" goes too far.)
The only question is: Why do Democrats take such relish in slandering their country? If someone was constantly telling vicious lies about you, would you believe they supported and loved you?
"I love John Doe, and that's why I accuse him of committing serial rape and mass murder. Oh, he doesn't do that? Yes, but how dare you say I don't love John Doe!"
And now back to our regular programming on Air America ...
"Does Gitmo take credit cards? I could use a two-week
workout at a camp in the Carribean, with chicken and rice for dinner, and daily religious services. . ."
Funny. I was thinking of going to an adult soccer camp to get into shape. Maybe Gitmo is the answer.
GUANTANAMO LOSES FIVE STAR RATING
Posted by smoothsailing
On News/Activism 06/23/2005 6:53:01 AM PDT · 23 replies · 487+ views
uexpress.com ^ | 06/22/05 | Ann Coulter
Guantanamo loses 5-star rating
Posted by perfect stranger
On News/Activism 06/22/2005 4:28:00 PM PDT · 60 replies · 1,389+ views
WND.com ^ | June 22, 2005 | Ann Coulter
Ann makes a great point. If the scenes from Abu Ghraib were acted out on the New York stage, Frank Rich would be raving about how sexually liberating the performance was.
Come to think about it, has there ever not been a modern dance act that looked like a "Lucky Pierre" Frank Rich's behind? He likes to be at the center of things, painful though it may be at Times.
"...Next, the interrogators will be threatening to slightly undercook the Lemon Chicken!" - Ann CoulterGreat minds think alike!
See also THIS thread:
DC Chapter FReeps Senator Durbin's Democrat Fundraiser & Debates Congresswoman
DC Chapter ^ | June 23, 2005 | BillF
Posted on 06/23/2005 12:35:50 AM PDT by BillF
FReepers from the DC Chapter conducted a FReep of Senator Richard Durbin at a Democrat fundraiser on June 21. DNC Chair Howard Dean, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi of California, and Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid of Nevada were among those in attendance in addition to Senate Minority Assistant Leader Durbin of Illinois.
(Here is the announcement thread for the FReep.)
The honor roll of those in attendance as shown on below photo (L-R): BufordP, Jimmy Valentine's brother, 3-D Joy, kristinn, and (off-camera, taking the photo) BillF.
We set up our protest on the sidewalk about 15 feet away from the entrance door where the Dems had to wait in line to get in. Most of the Dem officials went into another door around the corner from our location.
The theme of the DNC fundraiser was "Paint the Nation Blue" and the people waiting in line certainly seemed blue. Of course, they may have been blue because of our presence. Possibly it was kristinn telling them to turn their backs on Durbin or maybe it was BufordP telling them "If you think American troops are Nazis, you can go to the front of the line."
CLICK HERE for the rest of that thread
I think I remember when you said that here once.
I disagree. The "Golden Rule" of the War on Terror is, "Kill others as they would kill us, only do it first."
Anything else - Geneva Conventions, Constitutional Rights for terrorist combatants - is pissing in the wind.
I suspect that the real rationale behind the ACLU and liberal congress critters harping for the detainees' rights to a fair trial is motivated by what always motivates lawyers: Free publicity and attorney fees. Their advocacy for closing down Gitmo means to me that they want them moved to stateside to give the lawyers easier access.
I could be wrong, but I don't think so.
Cool! I got a fan in Ann :-)
A question I have been asking anyone that will listen. I've wondered about this for thirty years at least.
The chicken is orange-glazed, not lemon!
The chicken is orange-glazed, not lemon!From the Washington Times:
...During a speech Monday at the National Press Club, Cheney said: "Those most urgently advocating we shut down Gitmo probably don't agree with our policies anyway."He added that the prisoners at Guantanamo are "treated far better than they could expect to be treated by virtually any other government on Earth."
That seemed to be the party line Monday. California Republican Duncan Hunter held a press conference to discuss the treatment of detainees at the island jail, and spent his opening statement going over a daily menu for prisoners that included oven-fried chicken and fresh fruit.
"This is what Osama bin Laden's bodyguards will eat several times a week. Lemon chicken, rice, broccoli, carrots, bread and two types of fruit," Hunter said, inviting a reporter to come eat with him...
...Cheney's remarks were echoed in a news conference on Capitol Hill later in the day by Rep. Duncan Hunter, R-Calif., who is one of the Pentagon's most committed allies. Hunter appeared with prison menus and two plates of food, one of lemon chicken and one of fish, which he said were examples of the meals served to inmates at Guantanamo.Mohamed al-Kahtani, who was believed to be the planned 20th hijacker in the Sept. 11 terror plot, is being held at Guantanamo, and Hunter said that he is eating well and given the materials he needs to practice Islam.
"The guy who wanted to drive that plane into the building at the World Trade Center is going to dine tomorrow on lemon fish with two types of vegetables, two types of fruit, and then he will be afforded his taxpayer-funded Quran, taxpayer-funded prayer beads and oil so he can pray, presumably to kill more Americans," Hunter said.
...Appearing on Fox News Sunday, the House Armed Services Committee chairman began by detailing tonight's dinner menu at Gitmo - which all detainees, including one suspected of being involved in the 9/11 plot, will enjoy. "For Sunday they're going to be having Orange Glazed Chicken, Fresh Fruit Roupee, Steamed Peas and Mushrooms, Rice Pilaf - we treat them very well," he told Fox.
Last night, Hunter said, the U.S. "torture victims" enjoyed the same kind of gourmet fare, including an entree of "Lemon-baked Fish."
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