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To: Hemingway's Ghost
I also wanted to reply to this. You wrote: ": [P]orn may very well help some marriages, in that porn might inspire them to be more creative in their sexual relationship, leading to more excitement, and more satisfaction, and thereby strengthening the marital bond.

No. One of the major (and, no matter what your age, ongoing) projects of sexual maturity is to direct and channel your sometimes anarchic sexual appetite toward your spouse and nobody else. Porn, by definition, gets you buzzing over a print image or a written description or a video image of somebody other than your spouse. That's a problem in itself --- a misdirection of the drive.

I sometimes wonder about people who are already somewhat damaged by pornography before they get married, and then as a consequence find they can't get very excited about sex with their spouse. One could ask: what if they're already so porn-addicted that they need regular doses of it to get set up for marital sex?

Sad case. I'd say no, this person needs a patient spouse who will start all over with him from the beginning. I daresay marital satisfaction doesn't need more creativeness (defined as what? Different positions? Orifices? Devices? Costumes?) as much as it needs more focused attentiveness towards EACH OTHER, and more mutual trust.

It's precisely that --- focused attention and trust --- that's directly undermined by pornography.

There have been several fairly big surveys that showed that sexual satisfaction correlates positively with marriage and religious belief/practice. It's interesting to ask why. Couple-to-Couple League (Natural Family Planning group, overwhelmingly married and substantially religious) reports a divorce rate of around 2%. It's interesting to ask why there, too.

I'm fairly sure the divorce (and thus overall dissatisfaction) rate of pornography users is somewhat higher than that.

46 posted on 06/10/2005 7:58:03 AM PDT by Mrs. Don-o (Make love. Accept no substitutes.)
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To: Mrs. Don-o
No. One of the major (and, no matter what your age, ongoing) projects of sexual maturity is to direct and channel your sometimes anarchic sexual appetite toward your spouse and nobody else.

Then we disagree fundamentally. I believe marriage does not require than one cease to be a sexual being---it simply requires that one remain faithful to the vows he or she made to his or her spouse.

48 posted on 06/10/2005 8:26:24 AM PDT by Hemingway's Ghost (Spirit of '75)
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