What's wrong with nationalism? A lot. What's wrong with patriotism? Nothing.
I thought the Catholic Church in Croatia should have stood up against some of the most egregious human rights abuses of minority Serbs, Roma and Muslims rather than encouraging "unforgiveness". Perhaps they should have preached some tolerance for law-abiding minorities instead of talking about them as if they were vermin, as the Djakovo priest did. Also, why didn't I ever see any of those nice clean nuns who rode trams around in Zagreb... why didn't I ever see them in Sector North helping the remaining elderly and handicapped starving Serbs... or the equally starving and terrified Croat refugees from Drvar who were resettled in burning villages? I sure could have used their help!
I concur with your point about being stuck in an unequal Federation, and I don't blame them for being resentful. And I think everyone who wants to return to their homes, wherever, should be allowed. I'm sorry to hear about Bos. Brod. I thought that town was clear for return. The Americans were there. What happened?
I hope that you extend these same criteria to the Serbs and their clergy.