I'm the passenger (I don't drive), and in my state, they fine the driver, not the passenger. The fine is I believe around a hundred dollars and the driver accumulates points for the violation as well. After I believe two violations, the license is suspended.
Believe me, if I didn't have to wear one in order to keep the driver out of trouble, I wouldn't. Recently, the state discontinued requirements for motorcyclists to wear helmets...why they won't make seatbelts optional is beyond me. To me, it's just another money grab for the state. I'm with you -- I don't like government telling me what I can and cannot do in situations that affect only me.